By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Gillian_Reynolds]Gillian Reynolds Your husband has a very full life. Most men do. He likely juggles a full-time career, his responsibilities as a father and his commitment to you. You do the same in your life but you feel that you've always made your husband a priority, even though he hasn't done the same for you. You're frustrated, disappointed and perhaps even a bit confused. You never imagined your life would end up in this place, did you? You feel unappreciated, taken for granted and unloved. Obviously, this situation has to change. You're not going to accomplish that by making subtle comments about how your best friend's husband loves and adores her. It's also not going to make any difference if you nag your husband in an effort to get him to move you to the top of his priority list. You have to address this issue in a way that makes your husband come to his own realization that you're the most important person in his life. Understanding the direction you need to take to accomplish that begins with gaining more insight into why he's acting the way he is.
On the day you and your husband married you promised many things to one another both verbally and silently. To most women one of the major, silent vows is to always put one another at the top of life's priority list. We, as women, almost always do that with our spouses. We may falter a bit when we become mothers primarily because our parental nature kicks in and we focus all of our attention on our little ones. However, with men it tends to be a bit different story. Men sometimes allow their work or their friends to take top billing. If you're a wife who is beginning to notice that shift in her husband's life, it's ultimately going to hurt.
Shifting your husband's attitude so that you become the focal point of his life isn't nearly as hard as you may believe that it is. You've likely already tried speaking to him about the problem. In most cases when a husband is confronted with a wife who says that she feels neglected, he'll take a defensive stance and go on the attack. He may say things about how he works so hard for her or how he can't ever do anything that makes her happy. This is to be expected and any woman who has had this conversation with her husband more than once, knows that it's a normal reaction so she doesn't take it personally.
You absolutely must take a more subtle approach. Your husband reacts better to action than words. Most men do. They will make a change in themselves if they feel something internally as opposed to being told something. That's why it can be incredibly helpful if you temporarily stop paying your husband as much attention as you have been. You shouldn't take the stance of pushing him to the back of your priority list, but instead view it as moving other things ahead of him for a time and for a very defined purpose.
The simpler and less meaningful things are the best. That's to say that if your husband is expecting you to have dinner cooked when he comes home from the office, he should be greeted with a frozen dinner and a note saying you had a yearning to go see a movie with a girlfriend. Another great way to get your point across is to stop doing as much around the house. If you neglect your husband's laundry because you're so busy shopping online for a new handbag, he's going to feel the pinch of your neglect.
This may be viewed by many women as game playing with their spouse but sometimes the way to a man's heart is through sports. It's doubtful that your husband has made a conscious effort to push you off his priority list. It's more likely that he's mindlessly allowed other things to take precedence. By showing him how that feels, you'll be pushing him into seeing that there's a better and more respectful way to be a loving and attentive partner.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and [http://www.makeyourhusbandloveyou.com]love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even [http://www.makeyourhusbandloveyou.com]deeper in love with you than when you two first married.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?My-Husband-Wont-Make-Me-a-Priority!-How-to-Shift-His-Attitude&id=6650028] My Husband Won't Make Me a Priority! How to Shift His Attitude
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Christian Marriage Help: Six Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Use of Pornography
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Karla_Downing]Karla Downing
Are you looking for Christian marriage help because your husband is using pornography? Here are six ways to respond to your husband's use of pornography:
Honesty. Be honest about how you are feeling about the porn and how it is affecting your relationship. Be honest about what you need. Be honest about the grieving process you need to go through. Until you are ready to set boundaries, just state what your needs and feelings are. You can say things like, "I am not sure what I will do if this continues" or "I don't agree that looking at pornography is okay, because it isn't with me."
Boundaries. When you are ready, state your boundaries regarding the pornography. State them with consequences for violating them only when you are ready to enforce them. You also need boundaries to protect you from financial loss and sexual diseases.
Detachment. You have to manage your response. This is your husband's problem to deal with. He has to hit his own bottom where he wants to stop. Your willingness to be honest about how this is affecting you and the relationship, as well as your boundaries, will help him reach his bottom. If you enable by covering up, tolerating, and pretending it is okay, you will prevent him from facing his own sin.
Support. Get support for yourself so you can get stronger and clearer on the problem and how to respond to it. You can reach out to a friend, family member, counselor, or 12 Step support group.
Prayer. Continue to pray for your husband and for the Holy Spirit to convict him. The Holy Spirit can use your honesty, boundaries, and actions to convict your husband (1 Peter 3:1-2). Pray for wisdom with timing and grace with any consequences, especially if your husband is trying to stop and is acknowledging the problem. Trust God with the outcome while praying for patience.
Awareness. It takes emotional maturity and awareness to manage your reaction. You will have "triggers," which are anything that reminds you of what your husband did. It could be a look, a phone call, being on the computer, not answering a cell phone, a touch, a movie, or anything else that reminds you of the sexual acting out. If you react in a way that harms the relationship, your reaction can contribute to a negative cycle in the marriage that prevents healing and intimacy. Recognize your triggers. Talk to your spouse or support person about them, so you can react in a way that isn't destructive.
This Christian marriage help gives you six ways to respond to your husband's use of pornography that will increase the probability that he will take the problem seriously and stop, even though it might take time for it to happen.
If you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.
Just click here: http://www.free15daychallenge.com
Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Christian-Marriage-Help:-Six-Ways-to-Respond-to-Your-Husbands-Use-of-Pornography&id=6650985] Christian Marriage Help: Six Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Use of Pornography
Are you looking for Christian marriage help because your husband is using pornography? Here are six ways to respond to your husband's use of pornography:
Honesty. Be honest about how you are feeling about the porn and how it is affecting your relationship. Be honest about what you need. Be honest about the grieving process you need to go through. Until you are ready to set boundaries, just state what your needs and feelings are. You can say things like, "I am not sure what I will do if this continues" or "I don't agree that looking at pornography is okay, because it isn't with me."
Boundaries. When you are ready, state your boundaries regarding the pornography. State them with consequences for violating them only when you are ready to enforce them. You also need boundaries to protect you from financial loss and sexual diseases.
Detachment. You have to manage your response. This is your husband's problem to deal with. He has to hit his own bottom where he wants to stop. Your willingness to be honest about how this is affecting you and the relationship, as well as your boundaries, will help him reach his bottom. If you enable by covering up, tolerating, and pretending it is okay, you will prevent him from facing his own sin.
Support. Get support for yourself so you can get stronger and clearer on the problem and how to respond to it. You can reach out to a friend, family member, counselor, or 12 Step support group.
Prayer. Continue to pray for your husband and for the Holy Spirit to convict him. The Holy Spirit can use your honesty, boundaries, and actions to convict your husband (1 Peter 3:1-2). Pray for wisdom with timing and grace with any consequences, especially if your husband is trying to stop and is acknowledging the problem. Trust God with the outcome while praying for patience.
Awareness. It takes emotional maturity and awareness to manage your reaction. You will have "triggers," which are anything that reminds you of what your husband did. It could be a look, a phone call, being on the computer, not answering a cell phone, a touch, a movie, or anything else that reminds you of the sexual acting out. If you react in a way that harms the relationship, your reaction can contribute to a negative cycle in the marriage that prevents healing and intimacy. Recognize your triggers. Talk to your spouse or support person about them, so you can react in a way that isn't destructive.
This Christian marriage help gives you six ways to respond to your husband's use of pornography that will increase the probability that he will take the problem seriously and stop, even though it might take time for it to happen.
If you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.
Just click here: http://www.free15daychallenge.com
Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Christian-Marriage-Help:-Six-Ways-to-Respond-to-Your-Husbands-Use-of-Pornography&id=6650985] Christian Marriage Help: Six Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Use of Pornography
Friday, December 9, 2011
How To Get Your Man To Love You Always
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Eng_Hou_Ng]Eng Hou Ng
When passion wanes, women often find it difficult to keep their men interested in them sexually. Here is how to get him interested in you again.
(1) Keep your man on his toes
Build a cloud of mystery around you. A certain degree of elusiveness and unpredictability will make him crave for more of you. Never reveal too much of yourself. Send him confusing signals by being dominating and pliable, and innocent and naughty, all at the same time. This will make him want to explore you more and keep him hooked to you.
(2) Stop being overly nice all the time
An over dosage of nicety can put you in the risk of losing the power of seduction. Occasionally let out hints of dark shades in your character. Be a little bit mean or nasty if required at times, but not to be uninteresting.
(3) Boost your sex appeal
Do not be too complacent after marriage. Make yourself visually appealing to him. Groom yourself by putting on a perfume, wearing clothes, shoes and make-up that suit your taste and personality. All these efforts will also make you feel confident and good about you.
(4) Address his emotional and intellectual needs
You should know about the things he likes - his favorite colors, movies, songs, dishes, fetish, etc. Give him pleasant surprises by pampering him with some of his favorites. Adopt yourself to his likes, dislikes and moods. Once you are able to tune in to his needs, he will be unable to turn his back on you.
(5) Make him feel respected
On top of every man's wish list is to have the respect from his partner. Make him feel through your words and actions that you value his presence in your life.
(6) Make him feel good
Boost his confidence by telling him directly or subtly whatever you like about him. Human beings crave for compliments and affection. Making him feel good should get him to open up with you.
(7) Give him moral support
Tell him you will always be there behind him in all the things he does. Praise him for making an effort and wish him better luck next time when he encounters set-backs. Avoid using overly harsh words on him even if you disagree with him, as this may cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
(8) Make him feel good in bed
The feeling of being unable to satisfy his partner sexually can hurt his morale and confidence. Compliment him on his performance and the things that he does that turn you on and arouse you a lot. However, this does not prevent you from offering some feedbacks on how to please you correctly. Faking orgasm can only make him feel being treated like a fool.
(9) Seduce him
Buy sexy lingerie especially to seduce him. If he wants to try new things such as different sexual positions different places and time for having sex, let him do so. Of course, on certain things that you are not comfortable with, give him subtle hints or tell him how he can improve on them.
(10) Take charge at times
Don not behave like a dead fish in bed and expect him to do everything all the time. It is okay if you take the initiative at times. That will turn him on and make him feel wanted.
To keep your man interested in you, you need to play the role of seducer and make him fall in love with you. Want some more tips on this? Click on [http://www.sex-tips-site.com]Love You Always and [http://www.getting-chicks.com]Want You More.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Get-Your-Man-To-Love-You-Always&id=6648745] How To Get Your Man To Love You Always
When passion wanes, women often find it difficult to keep their men interested in them sexually. Here is how to get him interested in you again.
(1) Keep your man on his toes
Build a cloud of mystery around you. A certain degree of elusiveness and unpredictability will make him crave for more of you. Never reveal too much of yourself. Send him confusing signals by being dominating and pliable, and innocent and naughty, all at the same time. This will make him want to explore you more and keep him hooked to you.
(2) Stop being overly nice all the time
An over dosage of nicety can put you in the risk of losing the power of seduction. Occasionally let out hints of dark shades in your character. Be a little bit mean or nasty if required at times, but not to be uninteresting.
(3) Boost your sex appeal
Do not be too complacent after marriage. Make yourself visually appealing to him. Groom yourself by putting on a perfume, wearing clothes, shoes and make-up that suit your taste and personality. All these efforts will also make you feel confident and good about you.
(4) Address his emotional and intellectual needs
You should know about the things he likes - his favorite colors, movies, songs, dishes, fetish, etc. Give him pleasant surprises by pampering him with some of his favorites. Adopt yourself to his likes, dislikes and moods. Once you are able to tune in to his needs, he will be unable to turn his back on you.
(5) Make him feel respected
On top of every man's wish list is to have the respect from his partner. Make him feel through your words and actions that you value his presence in your life.
(6) Make him feel good
Boost his confidence by telling him directly or subtly whatever you like about him. Human beings crave for compliments and affection. Making him feel good should get him to open up with you.
(7) Give him moral support
Tell him you will always be there behind him in all the things he does. Praise him for making an effort and wish him better luck next time when he encounters set-backs. Avoid using overly harsh words on him even if you disagree with him, as this may cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
(8) Make him feel good in bed
The feeling of being unable to satisfy his partner sexually can hurt his morale and confidence. Compliment him on his performance and the things that he does that turn you on and arouse you a lot. However, this does not prevent you from offering some feedbacks on how to please you correctly. Faking orgasm can only make him feel being treated like a fool.
(9) Seduce him
Buy sexy lingerie especially to seduce him. If he wants to try new things such as different sexual positions different places and time for having sex, let him do so. Of course, on certain things that you are not comfortable with, give him subtle hints or tell him how he can improve on them.
(10) Take charge at times
Don not behave like a dead fish in bed and expect him to do everything all the time. It is okay if you take the initiative at times. That will turn him on and make him feel wanted.
To keep your man interested in you, you need to play the role of seducer and make him fall in love with you. Want some more tips on this? Click on [http://www.sex-tips-site.com]Love You Always and [http://www.getting-chicks.com]Want You More.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Get-Your-Man-To-Love-You-Always&id=6648745] How To Get Your Man To Love You Always
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Good Advice For Couples Who Have Marriages That Need a Transfusion
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kristie_Brown]Kristie Brown
Saving a marriage that has deteriorated to the point of discussing divorce can be a major, uphill battle. It's up to each individual to examine their relationship and decide if it's worth keeping. You have to figure out what exactly is causing your marital break-up before you can decide what you want to do. If you're married to someone who is violent or otherwise abusive, you're probably best cutting your losses and getting out now. If the problem turns out to be a lot of little issues that have built up over time, and if you feel that your spouse still loves you and will be willing to work alongside you to make your marriage right again, then that's what you should do.
Every situation is different just like every person is unique, and you need to look deep to find the basic reasons why your own marriage may be floundering. Never assume that the problem is what you see on the surface. If your spouse is known to have been cheating on you, you can't just blame the problems on him or her. Instead, you have to discover what led them to seeking someone else. While there are some people who just cheat to say they did, most marrieds having adulterous flings are doing it because of clear-cut reasons they are unhappy with their marriages. For instance, the lack of a satisfactory sex life can cause some people to look outside their marriages for gratification.
Once you've thought over the reasons why your union isn't as close as it once was, you need to discuss them rationally with your spouse. Yelling isn't going to solve anything, so keep your temper in check. Most men are never going to be as communicative about their feelings as women are, so women need to encourage their spouses to talk things over. Ladies, attacking your mate is only going to make your spouse clam up even more, because he isn't going to want to reveal anything that makes him vulnerable to what you say. If you feel anger taking over your discussion, give yourselves time to cool down before tackling the problems again.
Reintroduction of intimate little moments in your relationship are going to do a world of good. Not that you have to dramatically express your love several times a day, but initiating little gestures, such as quick kisses and holding hands, will help your spouse realize that you really are serious about restoring your marriage.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/second-chance.html]free marriage advice or here [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/second-chance.html]marriage advice online.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Good-Advice-For-Couples-Who-Have-Marriages-That-Need-a-Transfusion&id=6649231] Good Advice For Couples Who Have Marriages That Need a Transfusion
Saving a marriage that has deteriorated to the point of discussing divorce can be a major, uphill battle. It's up to each individual to examine their relationship and decide if it's worth keeping. You have to figure out what exactly is causing your marital break-up before you can decide what you want to do. If you're married to someone who is violent or otherwise abusive, you're probably best cutting your losses and getting out now. If the problem turns out to be a lot of little issues that have built up over time, and if you feel that your spouse still loves you and will be willing to work alongside you to make your marriage right again, then that's what you should do.
Every situation is different just like every person is unique, and you need to look deep to find the basic reasons why your own marriage may be floundering. Never assume that the problem is what you see on the surface. If your spouse is known to have been cheating on you, you can't just blame the problems on him or her. Instead, you have to discover what led them to seeking someone else. While there are some people who just cheat to say they did, most marrieds having adulterous flings are doing it because of clear-cut reasons they are unhappy with their marriages. For instance, the lack of a satisfactory sex life can cause some people to look outside their marriages for gratification.
Once you've thought over the reasons why your union isn't as close as it once was, you need to discuss them rationally with your spouse. Yelling isn't going to solve anything, so keep your temper in check. Most men are never going to be as communicative about their feelings as women are, so women need to encourage their spouses to talk things over. Ladies, attacking your mate is only going to make your spouse clam up even more, because he isn't going to want to reveal anything that makes him vulnerable to what you say. If you feel anger taking over your discussion, give yourselves time to cool down before tackling the problems again.
Reintroduction of intimate little moments in your relationship are going to do a world of good. Not that you have to dramatically express your love several times a day, but initiating little gestures, such as quick kisses and holding hands, will help your spouse realize that you really are serious about restoring your marriage.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/second-chance.html]free marriage advice or here [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/second-chance.html]marriage advice online.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Good-Advice-For-Couples-Who-Have-Marriages-That-Need-a-Transfusion&id=6649231] Good Advice For Couples Who Have Marriages That Need a Transfusion
Monday, December 5, 2011
7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=D_P_Haynes]D P Haynes
There are many couples who are struggling today with trying to build a healthy marriage. Believe it or not there is a difference between a happy marriage and a healthy marriage. You can have two individuals happy at the present time but because their relationship isn't healthy there is a risk for a marriage breakdown or failure in the future.
I'm sure you are thinking "how could a happy marriage not be a healthy marriage"? Well, why don't we explore the matter for a few minutes and you can make up your own mind if this is true. In fact, you might even be able to examine your marriage and decide if it is healthy or just happy.
The following is a short snapshot of the marriage between Anthony and Samantha which we can put under the microscope.
Anthony and Samantha have been married for 6 years and have two beautiful children and a nice home in the suburbs. Anthony is a high achiever and he works long hours and provides a comfortable living for his family. They enjoy all of the benefits of living the life of an upper middle class family and that includes having disposable income and like-minded friends. On the weekends Anthony needs to unwind by playing 18 holes of golf and Samantha does quite a bit of hanging out and shopping with the girls.
Now, on the surface this seems like the American dream and a happy marriage. However, there is just one problem. Anthony and Samantha are not a happily married couple. They are happy as individuals but have very little time for each other. They are building separate lives and when the marriage doldrums hit they will be ill-prepared to deal with them.
Does your marriage have any resemblance to Anthony and Samantha's? Are you in that awkward stage in your marriage where things make you happy and not spending quality time with your spouse?
Please keep in mind that the longer you go with not putting your relationship in the right order the more work you will have to do to restore it when it begins to fall apart. I hope that you realize how important it is to continue to work on building a healthy marriage.
Now, I don't want you to misunderstand what I'm suggesting. You can be happy and have a healthy marriage. You don't have to give up your friends, golf, career or shopping if that's what you like to do. However, your spouse and your marriage should be at the top of the priority list. That's when you know that you are working towards a happy and healthy marriage.
7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
1. You are able to talk about anything.
2. Trust is not a questionable trait in your relationship.
3. Differences are embraced and not a continuous form of contention.
4. Being around each other is a joy and not a burden.
5. Mistakes are truly forgiven and grievances are not held onto for weeks or months or years.
6. There is a mutual feeling that your marriage comes before everything else.
7. Spending time together is important and excuses are not acceptable.
The above are just some minimum areas that tend to indicate that a relationship is healthy. Your marriage might seem complicated and hard to keep moving in the right direction but often times it really isn't. Marriage isn't difficult but people are.
The good news is that no marriage is perfect and all marriages can use improvement. Please don't ever make the wrong assumption that your marriage is so broken that it can't be fixed or to perfect to need improvement. You would be surprised to know just how easily an unhealthy marriage could be made healthy and vice-versa.
If your marriage is not as healthy as you would like it to be now is the time to do something about it. Please don't wait until you have more time to work on your marriage. Make the time and your relationship will continue to grow stronger.
I know marriage is not easy but it shouldn't keep you frustrated, confused and desiring something better. If you need more help in restoring relationships, or finding help in building a healthy marriage, please read more here, [http://restoringrelationships.info/saving_your_marriage.html]Save The Marriage.
If you would like to read more articles to help restore your marriage please set aside some quite time and visit here; [http://www.helpinmarriage.com/]Help In Marriage
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?7-Signs-Of-A-Healthy-Marriage&id=6650516] 7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
There are many couples who are struggling today with trying to build a healthy marriage. Believe it or not there is a difference between a happy marriage and a healthy marriage. You can have two individuals happy at the present time but because their relationship isn't healthy there is a risk for a marriage breakdown or failure in the future.
I'm sure you are thinking "how could a happy marriage not be a healthy marriage"? Well, why don't we explore the matter for a few minutes and you can make up your own mind if this is true. In fact, you might even be able to examine your marriage and decide if it is healthy or just happy.
The following is a short snapshot of the marriage between Anthony and Samantha which we can put under the microscope.
Anthony and Samantha have been married for 6 years and have two beautiful children and a nice home in the suburbs. Anthony is a high achiever and he works long hours and provides a comfortable living for his family. They enjoy all of the benefits of living the life of an upper middle class family and that includes having disposable income and like-minded friends. On the weekends Anthony needs to unwind by playing 18 holes of golf and Samantha does quite a bit of hanging out and shopping with the girls.
Now, on the surface this seems like the American dream and a happy marriage. However, there is just one problem. Anthony and Samantha are not a happily married couple. They are happy as individuals but have very little time for each other. They are building separate lives and when the marriage doldrums hit they will be ill-prepared to deal with them.
Does your marriage have any resemblance to Anthony and Samantha's? Are you in that awkward stage in your marriage where things make you happy and not spending quality time with your spouse?
Please keep in mind that the longer you go with not putting your relationship in the right order the more work you will have to do to restore it when it begins to fall apart. I hope that you realize how important it is to continue to work on building a healthy marriage.
Now, I don't want you to misunderstand what I'm suggesting. You can be happy and have a healthy marriage. You don't have to give up your friends, golf, career or shopping if that's what you like to do. However, your spouse and your marriage should be at the top of the priority list. That's when you know that you are working towards a happy and healthy marriage.
7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
1. You are able to talk about anything.
2. Trust is not a questionable trait in your relationship.
3. Differences are embraced and not a continuous form of contention.
4. Being around each other is a joy and not a burden.
5. Mistakes are truly forgiven and grievances are not held onto for weeks or months or years.
6. There is a mutual feeling that your marriage comes before everything else.
7. Spending time together is important and excuses are not acceptable.
The above are just some minimum areas that tend to indicate that a relationship is healthy. Your marriage might seem complicated and hard to keep moving in the right direction but often times it really isn't. Marriage isn't difficult but people are.
The good news is that no marriage is perfect and all marriages can use improvement. Please don't ever make the wrong assumption that your marriage is so broken that it can't be fixed or to perfect to need improvement. You would be surprised to know just how easily an unhealthy marriage could be made healthy and vice-versa.
If your marriage is not as healthy as you would like it to be now is the time to do something about it. Please don't wait until you have more time to work on your marriage. Make the time and your relationship will continue to grow stronger.
I know marriage is not easy but it shouldn't keep you frustrated, confused and desiring something better. If you need more help in restoring relationships, or finding help in building a healthy marriage, please read more here, [http://restoringrelationships.info/saving_your_marriage.html]Save The Marriage.
If you would like to read more articles to help restore your marriage please set aside some quite time and visit here; [http://www.helpinmarriage.com/]Help In Marriage
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?7-Signs-Of-A-Healthy-Marriage&id=6650516] 7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Just Can't Let Go Of Your Husband? Here's Some Possible Reasons Why
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane]Leslie Cane
I sometimes hear from women who are having a hard time giving up on or letting go of their husbands. This can be true even if a separation or divorce is imminent or is actually happening. And when I get these types of correspondence, it always brings back memories for me because I was in this situation, looking at a husband who I knew didn't want to be with me when I knew in my heart that I never, ever wanted to be without him.
I heard from a wife who said: "my husband asked for separation about six months ago. At first, I hoped that this would just be a temporary situation and that he would decide to come back within a few weeks or at most a few months. But, actually, things got worse. He started becoming more and more distant and he answered my calls less and less. Then a few weeks ago, he told me that he was seeking a divorce. So, now it's pretty clear that he is asking me to let him go on a permanent level. I am not sure that I can do that. Intellectually, I know that he can file papers to end our marriage and that will mean that we are no longer legally married and that I have no claim to him. But, in my heart, I feel like he will always be mine and I'm not sure if I will ever be able to let him go. My friends say that none of this is fair to me. They say that if he doesn't want me, the best thing that I can do is to find someone who does. I understand why they are concerned. And I know that they are right. So why can't I let go of my husband?"
This correspondence brought back so many memories for me. I sometimes think that people have the mistaken conception that you if you just decide to let your husband or your marriage go or you try hard enough, then this is all that is needed. Things just aren't that simple when you are talking about love and the person who you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. Still, there are some common reasons that you might be having trouble letting him go. I will list some of them below.
It's Too Soon: Sometimes people expect too much of themselves far too soon. It had only been a couple of months after the separation and a couple of weeks after the husband announced that he wanted a divorce. The wife hadn't had a lot of time to process this, much less to grieve. Accept that this is a process that very well may take some time. Sometimes, things don't progress as fast as you might like, but don't beat yourself up for this.
There is no set time line on letting go. And quite frankly, if I hadn't saved my marriage, I have no problem admitting that I might never have let my husband go. I would've had to move on and I am confident I would have done just that. But moving on and letting go are two different things.
He's Sending Mixed Or Confusing Signals That Give You Hope: Many times when wives tell me that they can't let go, one of the reasons that this is the case is because the husband is sending mixed signals, whether he intends to or not. In this case, the wife admitted that a few weeks before he asked for divorce, she and her husband had gone out and exchanged some flirtatious behavior. Of course, the wife got her hopes up that this new interest would lead to them getting back together. And she was confused as to how he could just turn his feelings off and on. Often, wives who can't let go see and hear contradictions that make them question what their husband is truly feeling or what he really wants. And they are left thinking that if the feelings are there, why can't the marriage be there too? This leads me to my next point.
You Worry That There Are Things You Didn't Say Or Try That Might Have Made A Difference In Saving Your Marriage: Sometimes, when wives have a hard time letting their husband or their marriage go, it's because, deep in their hearts, they worry that there is a door that remained unopened. In other words, they worry that they didn't try every single thing that might have worked, or that they didn't do everything in their power to save their marriage. Maybe they were afraid of rejection or of looking stupid so they kept quiet when they should have said something. Or maybe they haven't yet tried counseling. Or maybe they waited for their husband to make the first move when they themselves should have taken a chance. Whatever the specific reason, many wives can't let go because they still have doubts and regret that they didn't pull out all the stops. So they are left wondering "what if" and this can make closure quite difficult.
So what happens if you find yourself in this situation? Well, you have a choice. You can attempt to right these wrongs and say or do what you need to say or do today. Or you can call it a day and move on. I can't promise you that speaking up will make any difference in your situation or might save your marriage. But, you will never know unless you try. And once you do, at least you will know that you did everything that you could and this might help you with closure.
I'd like to make one last point. Frankly, nothing says that you have to let him go. There's no law against holding on in your own heart. Yes, for your own well being and health, you'll want to move on when the time is right. But in your own heart, there might still be a place for him and I think that this is OK, as long as this doesn't keep you from living your life.
In my own case, I'm actually glad I didn't give up on my husband because it meant that much later, I was able to save my marriage. But even if this would not have been possible, there would have always been a place in my heart for him. If it helps, you can read [http://isavedmymarriage.com]the whole story of how we saved our marriage on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Just-Cant-Let-Go-Of-Your-Husband?-Heres-Some-Possible-Reasons-Why&id=6651395] Just Can't Let Go Of Your Husband? Here's Some Possible Reasons Why
I sometimes hear from women who are having a hard time giving up on or letting go of their husbands. This can be true even if a separation or divorce is imminent or is actually happening. And when I get these types of correspondence, it always brings back memories for me because I was in this situation, looking at a husband who I knew didn't want to be with me when I knew in my heart that I never, ever wanted to be without him.
I heard from a wife who said: "my husband asked for separation about six months ago. At first, I hoped that this would just be a temporary situation and that he would decide to come back within a few weeks or at most a few months. But, actually, things got worse. He started becoming more and more distant and he answered my calls less and less. Then a few weeks ago, he told me that he was seeking a divorce. So, now it's pretty clear that he is asking me to let him go on a permanent level. I am not sure that I can do that. Intellectually, I know that he can file papers to end our marriage and that will mean that we are no longer legally married and that I have no claim to him. But, in my heart, I feel like he will always be mine and I'm not sure if I will ever be able to let him go. My friends say that none of this is fair to me. They say that if he doesn't want me, the best thing that I can do is to find someone who does. I understand why they are concerned. And I know that they are right. So why can't I let go of my husband?"
This correspondence brought back so many memories for me. I sometimes think that people have the mistaken conception that you if you just decide to let your husband or your marriage go or you try hard enough, then this is all that is needed. Things just aren't that simple when you are talking about love and the person who you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. Still, there are some common reasons that you might be having trouble letting him go. I will list some of them below.
It's Too Soon: Sometimes people expect too much of themselves far too soon. It had only been a couple of months after the separation and a couple of weeks after the husband announced that he wanted a divorce. The wife hadn't had a lot of time to process this, much less to grieve. Accept that this is a process that very well may take some time. Sometimes, things don't progress as fast as you might like, but don't beat yourself up for this.
There is no set time line on letting go. And quite frankly, if I hadn't saved my marriage, I have no problem admitting that I might never have let my husband go. I would've had to move on and I am confident I would have done just that. But moving on and letting go are two different things.
He's Sending Mixed Or Confusing Signals That Give You Hope: Many times when wives tell me that they can't let go, one of the reasons that this is the case is because the husband is sending mixed signals, whether he intends to or not. In this case, the wife admitted that a few weeks before he asked for divorce, she and her husband had gone out and exchanged some flirtatious behavior. Of course, the wife got her hopes up that this new interest would lead to them getting back together. And she was confused as to how he could just turn his feelings off and on. Often, wives who can't let go see and hear contradictions that make them question what their husband is truly feeling or what he really wants. And they are left thinking that if the feelings are there, why can't the marriage be there too? This leads me to my next point.
You Worry That There Are Things You Didn't Say Or Try That Might Have Made A Difference In Saving Your Marriage: Sometimes, when wives have a hard time letting their husband or their marriage go, it's because, deep in their hearts, they worry that there is a door that remained unopened. In other words, they worry that they didn't try every single thing that might have worked, or that they didn't do everything in their power to save their marriage. Maybe they were afraid of rejection or of looking stupid so they kept quiet when they should have said something. Or maybe they haven't yet tried counseling. Or maybe they waited for their husband to make the first move when they themselves should have taken a chance. Whatever the specific reason, many wives can't let go because they still have doubts and regret that they didn't pull out all the stops. So they are left wondering "what if" and this can make closure quite difficult.
So what happens if you find yourself in this situation? Well, you have a choice. You can attempt to right these wrongs and say or do what you need to say or do today. Or you can call it a day and move on. I can't promise you that speaking up will make any difference in your situation or might save your marriage. But, you will never know unless you try. And once you do, at least you will know that you did everything that you could and this might help you with closure.
I'd like to make one last point. Frankly, nothing says that you have to let him go. There's no law against holding on in your own heart. Yes, for your own well being and health, you'll want to move on when the time is right. But in your own heart, there might still be a place for him and I think that this is OK, as long as this doesn't keep you from living your life.
In my own case, I'm actually glad I didn't give up on my husband because it meant that much later, I was able to save my marriage. But even if this would not have been possible, there would have always been a place in my heart for him. If it helps, you can read [http://isavedmymarriage.com]the whole story of how we saved our marriage on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Just-Cant-Let-Go-Of-Your-Husband?-Heres-Some-Possible-Reasons-Why&id=6651395] Just Can't Let Go Of Your Husband? Here's Some Possible Reasons Why
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Passive Aggressive Husband - How to Deal With This Type of Man
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Desiree_B_North]Desiree B North
What is a passive aggressive husband? What can I do with a passive aggressive husband? What are the characteristics of a passive aggressive husband?
There are many different types of examples of a passive aggressive husband. While there are many traits, one man will not have them all. However, the overall trend will be that your husband is trying to get out of responsibilities. He will also try to control you and make you feel bad for the things that he does wrong. For more on what to look out for with a passive aggressive husband, keep reading below.
Controlling Nature
There are several ways why a passive aggressive husband will try to control you. More often than not, he will have a fear of dependency and be afraid to be alone. As a result, he will manipulate his wife into staying by his side at all times.
Out of Touch
A passive aggressive man will also be out of touch with his feelings. As a result, he will refuse to show any that may show a softer side to him. In order to cover for this trait, he will pick fights to show how tough he is and to create some distance.
He will be an Object
This type of individual may say that he will do what you ask and he will promise to do so. However, that promise will not last very long. In addition, he will do what he can to stand in the way of you and whatever it is that you need or want.
Chaos
This type of man will also do what he can to create chaos in his wife's life. This means that he will not finish any job that she asks him to do, no matter how many times he promises that it will get done. In addition, he will also believe that he has no need for deadlines. He believes that deadlines are for other people and that he has no use for them.
Sets the Rules
One way a passive aggressive husband will try to set the rules in a relationship is by constantly being late and forgetful. This means that you will have to abide by his schedule and his sense of time. He will also suffer from selective forgiveness. By this he will remember the things that are important to him and forget those that may be important to you. This will also mean that he is living the relationship on his terms.
Child-Like
This type of man will also be very child-like in that he likes to sulk when he doesn't get his way. He will also begin to sulk when he is unable to live up to obligations. This will also cause to be very withdrawn as he pouts and it could take him a while to get over it and for his mood to come around.
If any of these traits sound like your husband, then you will want to take stock of the relationship and determine if it is one that you want to stay with or you may consider ending it altogether.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Fall in Love with you.
Desiree North is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Passive-Aggressive-Husband---How-to-Deal-With-This-Type-of-Man&id=6648612] Passive Aggressive Husband - How to Deal With This Type of Man
What is a passive aggressive husband? What can I do with a passive aggressive husband? What are the characteristics of a passive aggressive husband?
There are many different types of examples of a passive aggressive husband. While there are many traits, one man will not have them all. However, the overall trend will be that your husband is trying to get out of responsibilities. He will also try to control you and make you feel bad for the things that he does wrong. For more on what to look out for with a passive aggressive husband, keep reading below.
Controlling Nature
There are several ways why a passive aggressive husband will try to control you. More often than not, he will have a fear of dependency and be afraid to be alone. As a result, he will manipulate his wife into staying by his side at all times.
Out of Touch
A passive aggressive man will also be out of touch with his feelings. As a result, he will refuse to show any that may show a softer side to him. In order to cover for this trait, he will pick fights to show how tough he is and to create some distance.
He will be an Object
This type of individual may say that he will do what you ask and he will promise to do so. However, that promise will not last very long. In addition, he will do what he can to stand in the way of you and whatever it is that you need or want.
Chaos
This type of man will also do what he can to create chaos in his wife's life. This means that he will not finish any job that she asks him to do, no matter how many times he promises that it will get done. In addition, he will also believe that he has no need for deadlines. He believes that deadlines are for other people and that he has no use for them.
Sets the Rules
One way a passive aggressive husband will try to set the rules in a relationship is by constantly being late and forgetful. This means that you will have to abide by his schedule and his sense of time. He will also suffer from selective forgiveness. By this he will remember the things that are important to him and forget those that may be important to you. This will also mean that he is living the relationship on his terms.
Child-Like
This type of man will also be very child-like in that he likes to sulk when he doesn't get his way. He will also begin to sulk when he is unable to live up to obligations. This will also cause to be very withdrawn as he pouts and it could take him a while to get over it and for his mood to come around.
If any of these traits sound like your husband, then you will want to take stock of the relationship and determine if it is one that you want to stay with or you may consider ending it altogether.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Fall in Love with you.
Desiree North is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Passive-Aggressive-Husband---How-to-Deal-With-This-Type-of-Man&id=6648612] Passive Aggressive Husband - How to Deal With This Type of Man
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