By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Richard_A._Wright]Richard A. Wright
A good conflict may be healthy for couples. When you argue with your partner, you're being comfortable with your own self and you're not scared of showing your true colors. However, too much fighting is a different story. When every simple move causes troubles or when a trivial issue is often taken as a huge mistake, you're perhaps living in chaos.
To resolve conflicts, dissect the problem and know its roots. Otherwise, you're like a surgeon cutting the patient's flesh without prior diagnosis. Below are four usual causes of a couple's clashes.
Personality Differences
Because everyone is uniquely special, everyone is also different from each other. This leads to divergence in preferences, perspectives and decisions. You'll discover how different your partner is from you when you start to live under the same roof. As you share the journey, you'll detest how he messes up his things right after you clean the house. You'll hate how she renders overtime work when she should be cooking your dinner. However, as long as you respect and complement each other, personality differences won't get in the way.
Financial Constraints
Survival is of utmost importance for everyone. Having enough resources gives you a sense of security when somebody gets sick, when the fridge runs out of food and when the bills are in the mailbox. That's why when you're having difficulty trying to make ends meet, you feel the pressure. This doubles up when you have little kids who turns to you for their basic needs. Because of this, it's important for the couple to control your spending and to live within your means.
Infidelity and Jealousy
Staying loyal to your partner is the greatest challenge for married people. By being faithful, you preserve the vows you exchanged during your wedding day. However, some still wander away because of their own reasons. When this occurs, issues of trust crop out and these negatively affect the relationship. It can even cause divorce or annulment. So preserve the sacredness of your vows. Stay true to him/her through thick and thin.
Misunderstanding
Poor communication is the main cause of misunderstandings. You may have known each other for a long time but it doesn't mean you can throw ridicule statements, assume your partner reads your mind all the time or ignore what the other routinely says. To maintain effective communication in the family, pay attention to what your partner says or doesn't say. Exchange both your serious and nonsense ideas and share how things are going at the workplace. Your partner must know what's within you for a better understanding.
A successful marriage doesn't mean having less number of troubles. The maturity of a couple can be measured on how well they can overcome their problems, how they strengthen their relationship and how they improve through each other's support. Unfortunately, some couples just give up the fight without living the words of Doug Larson: More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
If your spouse keeps pointing at your mistakes and make a fuss out of it, he/she maybe try to cover something else; learn to notice [http://takinganexback.com/signs-of-a-cheater/]signs of a cheater and you might find the real cause of it. At some point, you might be decide that it's enough. When is that? Read some considerations at [http://takinganexback.com/when-to-divorce/]when to divorce.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Stop-Marriage-Fighting---Know-the-Roots&id=6650772] How to Stop Marriage Fighting - Know the Roots
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Use Teamwork To Save Your Marriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Adam_K_B]Adam K B
Sometimes you are the only one that wants to save your marriage, that's ok, it is harder but can be done. Which is why if you can work with your spouse to save the marriage it will be much easier and become stronger in the end. During the process of reuniting and improving your relationship, there will be times where you will have to work alone. If you have a personal flaw that you need to fix, sometimes doing it alone works better, in a sense that you are the only one that can fix you. Sometimes you need others to help you realize a flaw, or to be there for support. But in the end, you need to be the one to make the change. So where does teamwork come in?
Instead of taking out your frustration on your spouse by using anger, or picking little fights, try to take it out by just explaining your feelings. And if you are in the position where your spouse is taking out frustrations on you, don't react to them. Allow them to finish their venting episode, and move on, do not react. Afterwords they will feel bad and apologize for their behaviour. You have just worked together to avoid a fight, and prevent hurtful words being exchanged. It can be that easy. Doing this every time, will eventually get you both into a habit of properly communicating your thoughts and feelings before an explosion happens. And you both will carry less stress around. In the end, saving a marriage by doing this, is one of the small things that can make a world of difference!
In today's society, teamwork between a husband and wife is more important that ever. This is because it now (on average) takes two people to sustain a stable financial situation, two people to raise children, two people to do household chores and errands. The bottom line is that it takes two. Divorce is so high because we are trying to do everything solo, yet if we simple offered to help, or asked for help it can do so much for you. In your marriage, try splitting up chores, and errands. Try and to do this together so that the end result works out for both of you. By working together to have a great life will go a lot farther that you trying to be a one person show.
If you enjoyed this you might be interested in other articles written about different ways to learn [http://www.howtosaveamarriagereview.com]how to save a marriage. You can visit my website where I provide multiple resources from experts across North America. They all provide proven methods that you can use to start [http://www.howtosaveamarriagereview.com]saving your marriage.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Use-Teamwork-To-Save-Your-Marriage&id=6642242] Use Teamwork To Save Your Marriage
Sometimes you are the only one that wants to save your marriage, that's ok, it is harder but can be done. Which is why if you can work with your spouse to save the marriage it will be much easier and become stronger in the end. During the process of reuniting and improving your relationship, there will be times where you will have to work alone. If you have a personal flaw that you need to fix, sometimes doing it alone works better, in a sense that you are the only one that can fix you. Sometimes you need others to help you realize a flaw, or to be there for support. But in the end, you need to be the one to make the change. So where does teamwork come in?
Instead of taking out your frustration on your spouse by using anger, or picking little fights, try to take it out by just explaining your feelings. And if you are in the position where your spouse is taking out frustrations on you, don't react to them. Allow them to finish their venting episode, and move on, do not react. Afterwords they will feel bad and apologize for their behaviour. You have just worked together to avoid a fight, and prevent hurtful words being exchanged. It can be that easy. Doing this every time, will eventually get you both into a habit of properly communicating your thoughts and feelings before an explosion happens. And you both will carry less stress around. In the end, saving a marriage by doing this, is one of the small things that can make a world of difference!
In today's society, teamwork between a husband and wife is more important that ever. This is because it now (on average) takes two people to sustain a stable financial situation, two people to raise children, two people to do household chores and errands. The bottom line is that it takes two. Divorce is so high because we are trying to do everything solo, yet if we simple offered to help, or asked for help it can do so much for you. In your marriage, try splitting up chores, and errands. Try and to do this together so that the end result works out for both of you. By working together to have a great life will go a lot farther that you trying to be a one person show.
If you enjoyed this you might be interested in other articles written about different ways to learn [http://www.howtosaveamarriagereview.com]how to save a marriage. You can visit my website where I provide multiple resources from experts across North America. They all provide proven methods that you can use to start [http://www.howtosaveamarriagereview.com]saving your marriage.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Use-Teamwork-To-Save-Your-Marriage&id=6642242] Use Teamwork To Save Your Marriage
Friday, November 25, 2011
Catastrophic Thinking and Marital Problems
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Cedric_Benson]Cedric Benson
When people assume the worst, they can actually make the worst a self-fulfilling prophecy. Catastrophic thinking negatively impacts a marriage in several ways. It is important to learn to recognize any catastrophic thoughts you may have and how to replace them with more realistic thoughts.
No one has a crystal ball that can accurately predict the future. However, people who tend to have catastrophic thoughts predict that something bad will happen. Catastrophic thinking can become a bad habit for some people, and often, they aren't even aware that they are doing it.
Jeremy's catastrophic thoughts drove his wife, Angela, crazy. She said that when they were tight on money he started talking about bankruptcy. When they argued, he would say he just knows they'll get divorced. When she doesn't want to go fishing with him, he says they are growing apart. When he suspects his company is having financial problems, he talks about getting laid off. Jeremy's thoughts show a pattern of catastrophic thinking.
Catastrophic thoughts can have other negative effects, besides just annoying your partner. If you expect something bad happen, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is because people's behaviors change based on their thoughts.
When Jeremy starts to envision that his family is going to go bankrupt, he starts putting less effort into saving money and paying the bills. When he presumes that he and Angela will get divorced, he puts less effort into solving their problems. He figures, "why bother if it will end in divorce no matter what?" He puts less effort into his job when he thinks he will get laid off. In fact, he starts using some of his work hours to look for jobs online. This increases the likelihood that he may actually be fired from his job.
When people are always looking out for the worst case scenario, they often look for more evidence that supports their theory. For example, if Jeremy believes that he and Angela will get divorced, he reinforces this thought whenever they argue. He views any disagreements as further evidence that their marriage is ending.
Catastrophic thinking also makes people ignore contrary evidence. Whenever Jeremy and his wife are getting along well he doesn't really notice. When they solve problems easily, he brushes it off. When they do have enough money to pay the bills he doesn't pay attention or attributes it to "good luck this month." He only pays attention to the things that he uses to support his thoughts.
People often tend to have catastrophic thoughts due to unresolved issues from the past. Past hurts can often lead people to think it is safer to expect the worst rather than hope for the best. Attitudes such as "nothing good ever happens to me" or "people who love me always leave" often cause catastrophic thoughts.
Jeremy had grown up with a single mother and money was always tight. He had been told from a young age, "your father abandoned us." He was bullied at school for his small stature. He dropped out of high school before graduating because he wasn't doing well academically. As an adult, he felt like he was lucky to have found Angela but was always waiting for "the other shoe to drop." He knew that good things didn't seem to happen to him and felt he was destined to have a difficult life.
If you tend to have a lot of catastrophic thoughts, it is important to recognize them. This is a very important first step, as many people underestimate how catastrophic their thinking is. Then it is important to learn how to try and evaluate the truth more objectively. For example asking yourself, "If I missed one bill this month, what's the evidence that I'll go bankrupt?" and then ask, "what's the evidence that I won't go bankrupt?"
It can also be helpful to ask yourself, "what would I say to a friend who came to me with his problem?" Most people tend to much kinder to a friend than themselves. For example, if a friend said she missed paying a bill would you say to her, "You're going to go bankrupt now?" Probably not. Perhaps you'd say something more like, "everyone misses a bill every once in a while. It isn't the end of the world." Learn how to take your own advice.
If you have unresolved problems in your past, consider therapy as an option to help you overcome them. It is important to resolve past issues in order to help have a healthy relationship with your partner now. Couples counseling can also help you deal with catastrophic thoughts if they are impacting your marriage.
For information on acquiring help for your marital problems please visit [http://family-marriage-counseling.com/]http://family-marriage-counseling.com/.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Catastrophic-Thinking-and-Marital-Problems&id=6652509] Catastrophic Thinking and Marital Problems
When people assume the worst, they can actually make the worst a self-fulfilling prophecy. Catastrophic thinking negatively impacts a marriage in several ways. It is important to learn to recognize any catastrophic thoughts you may have and how to replace them with more realistic thoughts.
No one has a crystal ball that can accurately predict the future. However, people who tend to have catastrophic thoughts predict that something bad will happen. Catastrophic thinking can become a bad habit for some people, and often, they aren't even aware that they are doing it.
Jeremy's catastrophic thoughts drove his wife, Angela, crazy. She said that when they were tight on money he started talking about bankruptcy. When they argued, he would say he just knows they'll get divorced. When she doesn't want to go fishing with him, he says they are growing apart. When he suspects his company is having financial problems, he talks about getting laid off. Jeremy's thoughts show a pattern of catastrophic thinking.
Catastrophic thoughts can have other negative effects, besides just annoying your partner. If you expect something bad happen, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is because people's behaviors change based on their thoughts.
When Jeremy starts to envision that his family is going to go bankrupt, he starts putting less effort into saving money and paying the bills. When he presumes that he and Angela will get divorced, he puts less effort into solving their problems. He figures, "why bother if it will end in divorce no matter what?" He puts less effort into his job when he thinks he will get laid off. In fact, he starts using some of his work hours to look for jobs online. This increases the likelihood that he may actually be fired from his job.
When people are always looking out for the worst case scenario, they often look for more evidence that supports their theory. For example, if Jeremy believes that he and Angela will get divorced, he reinforces this thought whenever they argue. He views any disagreements as further evidence that their marriage is ending.
Catastrophic thinking also makes people ignore contrary evidence. Whenever Jeremy and his wife are getting along well he doesn't really notice. When they solve problems easily, he brushes it off. When they do have enough money to pay the bills he doesn't pay attention or attributes it to "good luck this month." He only pays attention to the things that he uses to support his thoughts.
People often tend to have catastrophic thoughts due to unresolved issues from the past. Past hurts can often lead people to think it is safer to expect the worst rather than hope for the best. Attitudes such as "nothing good ever happens to me" or "people who love me always leave" often cause catastrophic thoughts.
Jeremy had grown up with a single mother and money was always tight. He had been told from a young age, "your father abandoned us." He was bullied at school for his small stature. He dropped out of high school before graduating because he wasn't doing well academically. As an adult, he felt like he was lucky to have found Angela but was always waiting for "the other shoe to drop." He knew that good things didn't seem to happen to him and felt he was destined to have a difficult life.
If you tend to have a lot of catastrophic thoughts, it is important to recognize them. This is a very important first step, as many people underestimate how catastrophic their thinking is. Then it is important to learn how to try and evaluate the truth more objectively. For example asking yourself, "If I missed one bill this month, what's the evidence that I'll go bankrupt?" and then ask, "what's the evidence that I won't go bankrupt?"
It can also be helpful to ask yourself, "what would I say to a friend who came to me with his problem?" Most people tend to much kinder to a friend than themselves. For example, if a friend said she missed paying a bill would you say to her, "You're going to go bankrupt now?" Probably not. Perhaps you'd say something more like, "everyone misses a bill every once in a while. It isn't the end of the world." Learn how to take your own advice.
If you have unresolved problems in your past, consider therapy as an option to help you overcome them. It is important to resolve past issues in order to help have a healthy relationship with your partner now. Couples counseling can also help you deal with catastrophic thoughts if they are impacting your marriage.
For information on acquiring help for your marital problems please visit [http://family-marriage-counseling.com/]http://family-marriage-counseling.com/.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Catastrophic-Thinking-and-Marital-Problems&id=6652509] Catastrophic Thinking and Marital Problems
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tips That Can Save Your Marriage From Divorce
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Jennica_Grey]Jennica Grey
Nowadays, couples face divorce more often than ever. Here are some of the most common problems that are causes for divorce and tips on how to save your marriage from these common causes.
Career-centeredness / Overworking
Careers are often factors that undermine relationships. Insufficient commitment to your partner by being too busy to spend time with him or her, or lashing out on your partner due to problems at work are often the cause of alienation. It is very important that you spend as much time together as much as possible. When you do, don't talk about anything else expect you two and your feelings. Avoid topics that may cause an argument and do not trouble your partner. If you think that it is already too late for you, because you haven't devoted enough attention to him or her, remember that time heals all wounds. You need to persevere and be prepared to compromise.
Excessive competitiveness
A neighbor bought a new car, and so did you the next week, although in fact the old one had nothing missing. Did you ever do anything like that? Excessive competition and money spending can easily result in fights. Especially if something you bought prevented your partner from getting something he or she wanted or needed.
Sharing and decision-making are very important in marriage. Not only will your partner be aware that you care for his or her opinion, but you will also spend more time together, when purchasing a new car, on vacation... That time is precious, especially if you normally do not have much time for myself.
Divorcing is easy
Once, there was much less divorce and it was frowned upon by the society. Today, it is quite common. Divorce is accepted as the easiest option to solve the problem, not as a last resort. Friends, family members, and neighbors advised couples to stay in a relationship, today that is exactly the opposite. Friends many times support and encourage divorce. Anyway, think twice before divorcing. Is it because of the current feelings of anger, a problem your partner is experiencing or have you completely stopped loving him or her? Sometimes it turns out that with a little perseverance you can work the current issues out
The sexual revolution
Like divorce, cheating was once much more frowned upon. In most places in the world, people today do not dare to cheat the other person, but in some countries where there is no legal punishment for cheating, it spread rapidly. A man who does not cheat is considered a wimp in the modern world. You must know that it is rare for a couple to be able to bridge the gap between them after one of the people is known to have cheated. Even if you stay together, there will always be questions.
These reasons are one of the many who contribute to the high number of divorces. If you promise to, and do everything in your hands to prevent a divorce, you can still never be sure that you will succeed but you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried.
To learn more about the best ways to save marriage, go to WaysToSaveMarriage.net.
The site provides [http://waystosavemarriage.net/marriage-tips-advice]save marriage tips on how to deal with infidelity, and difficulties in [http://waystosavemarriage.net/finances-and-marriage]finances and marriage
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Tips-That-Can-Save-Your-Marriage-From-Divorce&id=6651627] Tips That Can Save Your Marriage From Divorce
Nowadays, couples face divorce more often than ever. Here are some of the most common problems that are causes for divorce and tips on how to save your marriage from these common causes.
Career-centeredness / Overworking
Careers are often factors that undermine relationships. Insufficient commitment to your partner by being too busy to spend time with him or her, or lashing out on your partner due to problems at work are often the cause of alienation. It is very important that you spend as much time together as much as possible. When you do, don't talk about anything else expect you two and your feelings. Avoid topics that may cause an argument and do not trouble your partner. If you think that it is already too late for you, because you haven't devoted enough attention to him or her, remember that time heals all wounds. You need to persevere and be prepared to compromise.
Excessive competitiveness
A neighbor bought a new car, and so did you the next week, although in fact the old one had nothing missing. Did you ever do anything like that? Excessive competition and money spending can easily result in fights. Especially if something you bought prevented your partner from getting something he or she wanted or needed.
Sharing and decision-making are very important in marriage. Not only will your partner be aware that you care for his or her opinion, but you will also spend more time together, when purchasing a new car, on vacation... That time is precious, especially if you normally do not have much time for myself.
Divorcing is easy
Once, there was much less divorce and it was frowned upon by the society. Today, it is quite common. Divorce is accepted as the easiest option to solve the problem, not as a last resort. Friends, family members, and neighbors advised couples to stay in a relationship, today that is exactly the opposite. Friends many times support and encourage divorce. Anyway, think twice before divorcing. Is it because of the current feelings of anger, a problem your partner is experiencing or have you completely stopped loving him or her? Sometimes it turns out that with a little perseverance you can work the current issues out
The sexual revolution
Like divorce, cheating was once much more frowned upon. In most places in the world, people today do not dare to cheat the other person, but in some countries where there is no legal punishment for cheating, it spread rapidly. A man who does not cheat is considered a wimp in the modern world. You must know that it is rare for a couple to be able to bridge the gap between them after one of the people is known to have cheated. Even if you stay together, there will always be questions.
These reasons are one of the many who contribute to the high number of divorces. If you promise to, and do everything in your hands to prevent a divorce, you can still never be sure that you will succeed but you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried.
To learn more about the best ways to save marriage, go to WaysToSaveMarriage.net.
The site provides [http://waystosavemarriage.net/marriage-tips-advice]save marriage tips on how to deal with infidelity, and difficulties in [http://waystosavemarriage.net/finances-and-marriage]finances and marriage
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Tips-That-Can-Save-Your-Marriage-From-Divorce&id=6651627] Tips That Can Save Your Marriage From Divorce
Monday, November 21, 2011
We're Separated And I Just Found Out My Husband Is Seeing Someone Else - What Now?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane]Leslie Cane
I often hear from people (usually wives) who are beside themselves because they have recently learned that their separated spouse is seeing someone else. Often, they were still holding out some hope that they could save their marriage, so they aren't sure how to react to this.
I heard from a wife who said: "my husband asked for a separation about seven months ago. I definitely didn't want one, but I agreed to it only because it was clear that it was either going to be a separation or divorce. He's living in an apartment about five miles away. We're stayed in touch throughout this process. I was hoping we would go to counseling, but we haven't. All along, my husband has been very private about how he was living his life. When I would ask about his romantic life, he would make it clear that this topic is off limits. Yesterday, one of my friends called me and said that she saw my husband out on a date with someone else. When my friend approached him, he introduced her to this other woman as if it were the most natural thing in the world. What am I supposed to do now? I still want to save my marriage. But how is that going to be possible when there is a new woman in his life? Should I confront him? Should I pretend I have someone else to make him jealous? Should I try to break them up? What is the best way to handle this?"
I know that this can be a very challenging hurdle. But it's very important that you keep this in perspective and not overreact, which I will discuss below.
Don't Make His Seeing Someone Else More Than It Is: I know it's very easy to assume that once your husband begins dating again, you have lost him for good. But honestly, the wife in this situation didn't yet know how serious the relationship was. She didn't even know if what the friend witnessed was a romantic date. And even if it was, a date or two certainly doesn't mean that the husband was going to end up marrying the other woman. Plus, it's not unusual for husbands to make the attempt to start dating again only to come to the conclusion that no one holds a candle to his wife and that all these attempts at dating are really attempts to replace her - which isn't even possible.
But if you panic, overreact, suddenly start making all sorts of demands or begin behaving negatively then you actually decrease the odds of him realizing it's you he wants. So, to the extent that you can, try not to overreact and attempt to keep this in perspective. A couple of dates don't have to mean anything.
Should You Date In Order To Make Him Jealous? Should You Try To Break Them Up?: The wife in this situation was tempted to try to find out more about the other woman and then come up with a plan meant to break them up. This so rarely works out well. Often, the husband will end up resenting the intrusion and will end up defending her just to spite you. Really, you don't want to set it up so that you are on opposing sides of your husband.
The decision about dating someone else is one that you yourself will have to make. I was never able to do this because I was still very invested in my husband and in saving my marriage. I felt as if this would have been living a lie. I felt like it would not only fake posturing, but a bad idea as well. That's not to say that I didn't sometimes neglect to tell my husband where I was or who I was with so that he would wonder. But I always stopped short of claiming relationships that didn't exist.
How Are You Supposed To Save Your Marriage When He's Seeing Someone Else Or Starting To Date Again?: You have to see your marriage and his life outside of you as two separate things. You can't allow your own fears and insecurities to place a dark cloud over your interactions with your husband.
And even if he does have a life outside of your marriage, there will be times when you will need to interact with him. When this time comes, make sure you remain positive and upbeat. Make sure you are pleasurable to be around. And as tempting as it may be, do not dwell on or demand answers about the other person. It's very important that you make your interactions about the two of you - not about him and someone else. Give the impression that you are confident that he will eventually come to realize who and what he wants and that someone is going to be you.
I know that you may well doubt this right now, but believe me when I say it's somewhat rare for the first person a man dates during a separation to end up being "the one." And quite frankly, if you are able to reconnect with him during the separation and make small improvements that lead up to big ones, there's every chance that you are still "the one" for him. And if this is so, the natural progression of things is to save your marriage so that in the end, you don't even need to worry about her.
I had my suspicions that my husband was seeing other people during our separation. He would never admit to this and the thought of him with someone else drove me crazy. But it wasn't until I placed his focus on him and myself and stopped worrying so much about external factors that things began to change for the better. Because of my shift in focus, we eventually did [http://isavedmymarriage.com]save our marriage. You can read the whole emotional story on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Were-Separated-And-I-Just-Found-Out-My-Husband-Is-Seeing-Someone-Else---What-Now?&id=6653645] We're Separated And I Just Found Out My Husband Is Seeing Someone Else - What Now?
I often hear from people (usually wives) who are beside themselves because they have recently learned that their separated spouse is seeing someone else. Often, they were still holding out some hope that they could save their marriage, so they aren't sure how to react to this.
I heard from a wife who said: "my husband asked for a separation about seven months ago. I definitely didn't want one, but I agreed to it only because it was clear that it was either going to be a separation or divorce. He's living in an apartment about five miles away. We're stayed in touch throughout this process. I was hoping we would go to counseling, but we haven't. All along, my husband has been very private about how he was living his life. When I would ask about his romantic life, he would make it clear that this topic is off limits. Yesterday, one of my friends called me and said that she saw my husband out on a date with someone else. When my friend approached him, he introduced her to this other woman as if it were the most natural thing in the world. What am I supposed to do now? I still want to save my marriage. But how is that going to be possible when there is a new woman in his life? Should I confront him? Should I pretend I have someone else to make him jealous? Should I try to break them up? What is the best way to handle this?"
I know that this can be a very challenging hurdle. But it's very important that you keep this in perspective and not overreact, which I will discuss below.
Don't Make His Seeing Someone Else More Than It Is: I know it's very easy to assume that once your husband begins dating again, you have lost him for good. But honestly, the wife in this situation didn't yet know how serious the relationship was. She didn't even know if what the friend witnessed was a romantic date. And even if it was, a date or two certainly doesn't mean that the husband was going to end up marrying the other woman. Plus, it's not unusual for husbands to make the attempt to start dating again only to come to the conclusion that no one holds a candle to his wife and that all these attempts at dating are really attempts to replace her - which isn't even possible.
But if you panic, overreact, suddenly start making all sorts of demands or begin behaving negatively then you actually decrease the odds of him realizing it's you he wants. So, to the extent that you can, try not to overreact and attempt to keep this in perspective. A couple of dates don't have to mean anything.
Should You Date In Order To Make Him Jealous? Should You Try To Break Them Up?: The wife in this situation was tempted to try to find out more about the other woman and then come up with a plan meant to break them up. This so rarely works out well. Often, the husband will end up resenting the intrusion and will end up defending her just to spite you. Really, you don't want to set it up so that you are on opposing sides of your husband.
The decision about dating someone else is one that you yourself will have to make. I was never able to do this because I was still very invested in my husband and in saving my marriage. I felt as if this would have been living a lie. I felt like it would not only fake posturing, but a bad idea as well. That's not to say that I didn't sometimes neglect to tell my husband where I was or who I was with so that he would wonder. But I always stopped short of claiming relationships that didn't exist.
How Are You Supposed To Save Your Marriage When He's Seeing Someone Else Or Starting To Date Again?: You have to see your marriage and his life outside of you as two separate things. You can't allow your own fears and insecurities to place a dark cloud over your interactions with your husband.
And even if he does have a life outside of your marriage, there will be times when you will need to interact with him. When this time comes, make sure you remain positive and upbeat. Make sure you are pleasurable to be around. And as tempting as it may be, do not dwell on or demand answers about the other person. It's very important that you make your interactions about the two of you - not about him and someone else. Give the impression that you are confident that he will eventually come to realize who and what he wants and that someone is going to be you.
I know that you may well doubt this right now, but believe me when I say it's somewhat rare for the first person a man dates during a separation to end up being "the one." And quite frankly, if you are able to reconnect with him during the separation and make small improvements that lead up to big ones, there's every chance that you are still "the one" for him. And if this is so, the natural progression of things is to save your marriage so that in the end, you don't even need to worry about her.
I had my suspicions that my husband was seeing other people during our separation. He would never admit to this and the thought of him with someone else drove me crazy. But it wasn't until I placed his focus on him and myself and stopped worrying so much about external factors that things began to change for the better. Because of my shift in focus, we eventually did [http://isavedmymarriage.com]save our marriage. You can read the whole emotional story on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Were-Separated-And-I-Just-Found-Out-My-Husband-Is-Seeing-Someone-Else---What-Now?&id=6653645] We're Separated And I Just Found Out My Husband Is Seeing Someone Else - What Now?
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Ways You Can Tell If Marriage Counseling Will Work For You
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kristie_Brown]Kristie Brown
If you're finding your marriage to not be quite as satisfying as it once was, and if you've even been tempted to cheat on your spouse or seek a divorce, you well may be looking for magic answers that can repair your marriage as well as your spirits. You already know there are professional counselors out there who claim they can help you, but you know other couples who have tried counseling and found out it just didn't work for them. Before you spend the money investing in counseling sessions yourself which may or may not work, there are a few points you need to consider.
Certain scenarios will definitely tell you that counseling isn't going to help your marriage. Even though you really do need support from an outside party, if your spouse refuses to participate or is likely to give false information if he or she does take part in the sessions, then all the counseling in the world isn't going to save your marriage. Both of you need to actively participate and be truthful if the trained professional is going to be able to help you. If you feel that both you and your spouse are sincerely committed to righting the wrongs in your relationship, then it's a good time for you to seek counseling.
Prior to making an appointment with a counselor, you want to do some research into that person's background. Are they experienced? What is their success rate? If you run into a bad counselor or two, don't give up. There are lots of good ones out there, and if you keep trying, you will find one who can help. Friends, acquaintances, and relatives are often good sources of the information you are seeking. Since your marriage is already in trouble, you definitely don't want to add bad counseling to the mix.
Don't let the fact that you are unable to pay the $50 - $100 dollar per hour fee a counselor will charge discourage you. Counselors realize that not every couple who is having marital difficulties can afford to pay that much. To that end, many of them have written self-help books that couples can use to learn the techniques to save their marriages. You can even find numerous ebooks online that will give you the information you are seeking. Some of these ebooks are free, and others will cost you a small fee. Some even come with videos portraying the use of the various recommended techniques. It's going to take some hard work, but you can definitely save your marriage if you want it badly enough.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/media.html]marriage expert or here: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/media.html]relationship expert.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Ways-You-Can-Tell-If-Marriage-Counseling-Will-Work-For-You&id=6651510] Ways You Can Tell If Marriage Counseling Will Work For You
If you're finding your marriage to not be quite as satisfying as it once was, and if you've even been tempted to cheat on your spouse or seek a divorce, you well may be looking for magic answers that can repair your marriage as well as your spirits. You already know there are professional counselors out there who claim they can help you, but you know other couples who have tried counseling and found out it just didn't work for them. Before you spend the money investing in counseling sessions yourself which may or may not work, there are a few points you need to consider.
Certain scenarios will definitely tell you that counseling isn't going to help your marriage. Even though you really do need support from an outside party, if your spouse refuses to participate or is likely to give false information if he or she does take part in the sessions, then all the counseling in the world isn't going to save your marriage. Both of you need to actively participate and be truthful if the trained professional is going to be able to help you. If you feel that both you and your spouse are sincerely committed to righting the wrongs in your relationship, then it's a good time for you to seek counseling.
Prior to making an appointment with a counselor, you want to do some research into that person's background. Are they experienced? What is their success rate? If you run into a bad counselor or two, don't give up. There are lots of good ones out there, and if you keep trying, you will find one who can help. Friends, acquaintances, and relatives are often good sources of the information you are seeking. Since your marriage is already in trouble, you definitely don't want to add bad counseling to the mix.
Don't let the fact that you are unable to pay the $50 - $100 dollar per hour fee a counselor will charge discourage you. Counselors realize that not every couple who is having marital difficulties can afford to pay that much. To that end, many of them have written self-help books that couples can use to learn the techniques to save their marriages. You can even find numerous ebooks online that will give you the information you are seeking. Some of these ebooks are free, and others will cost you a small fee. Some even come with videos portraying the use of the various recommended techniques. It's going to take some hard work, but you can definitely save your marriage if you want it badly enough.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/media.html]marriage expert or here: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/media.html]relationship expert.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Ways-You-Can-Tell-If-Marriage-Counseling-Will-Work-For-You&id=6651510] Ways You Can Tell If Marriage Counseling Will Work For You
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Marriage or Divorce?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Daveda_Gruber]Daveda Gruber
Marriage is the unity of two people. I am married for the third time. I sometimes wonder if marriage is right for me. Three strikes and you are out, maybe it applies. I am not getting divorced but I am concerned.
My first marriage was a disaster. My husband was physically abusive. He hurt me many times. I will not mention his name but he is a public figure living in the Bahamas so he doesn't have to pay income tax. We were married for ten years and had one child very early in the marriage. She is now dead.
My eldest daughter saw far too much abuse and her father lied to her after the divorce and made her believe that I did not really love her. I found out from her after she was eighteen that her father has sexually abused her at the age of seventeen. I wanted to press charges against him but my daughter had a fit and said she would testify that I was lying.
Lanie, my daughter got into an abusive relationship. This time it was mentally abusive with a man old enough to be her father. I rescued her and brought her to live with me. I had divorced my second husband by then.
I guess you could say that my second husband appeared to be a good man. Slowly, he started to ignore me and did not want intimate relations since I had said no to anymore children. My second daughter was born when I was thirty-eight and my son was born sixteen months later. He then told me not to wait to eat dinner with him. He would rather read a book while eating. He preferred that to my company.
That marriage ended and my younger children were poisoned by the way my second ex-husband spoke of me. He is a lawyer and got joint custody.
Sometimes I think back and wonder if I just should have stuck with the marriage until the children were eighteen and I had instilled certain virtues in their lives. That fact will probably stay with me until I die because my children want nothing to do with me. Why should they? 'Mr. Lawyer' has the money to pay for the top university for them and supply them with expensive cars. I could not have done that on my own. Isn't that the way our youth thinks? Well my younger two do and the eldest took her own life because of deeds her father had done.
That leads me to my third marriage. I left Canada and became a resident, then a permanent resident and finally a citizen of the United States to be married to this man. I sold my house and left my friends and family. I brought money into my new marriage. You would think that would make my husband a happy man.
This third husband gets involved in his own thoughts and I have been called just a (insert 'bad word' here) Canadian. I am an American now. He did not comfort me when my mother died this past June. By the way, he did not love his mother. He has blamed the fact that she was in a wheel chair and not opted for surgery on his father's death. Once in a while he'll be sorry about how he treats me and hug me and say, "Let's start all over from now."
'Now' does not last long. He says I act like a man. I believe that if I do not agree with him, he feels I am acting tough. He wants to be manly and talk above me at times. He will interrupt me and just talk. He talks to our cleaning lady and I want her to clean. If I make a comment to him on that issue he yells at me saying, "I pay for her to clean; I'll talk as much as I want!"
I have looked up bi-polar and that seems to sum up what my husband is. His behavior is not normal. I don't believe that one leaves a spouse because of an illness. Now, it is up to me to convince him that he has a problem. I have already seen a list of his abnormalities on his desk. Maybe he is looking them up.
My husband speaks kindly to everyone in our lives. I am the only one who he is not nice to most of the time. Well, maybe I am feeling sorry for myself, some of the time may be more correct. Could it be I am just feeling sorry for him? You never know.
This game of marriage can be very tricky. I feel like I should have waited on the second divorce and now I am very hesitant about divorce in general. I am sick of starting all over. I have done it too many times. Now I have become the kind of wife who just disappears into her work and if I hear bad remarks I brush them off my shoulder unless I am writing about them.
I am the owner of Publishing with Passion and Poetry with Passion as well as, author of fifteen books including: "My Blonde World," "Magical Moments," "Bruised but Not Beaten," "Death of a Daughter," "Steelers Cheers," "Red Barn and Other Short Stories," "Cling to the Magic Mere Mortals," "The Blonde Who Found Jesus," "A Blonde View of Life," "Tales of a Tiny Dog," "More Tales of a Tiny Dog," "Castle of Ice," "More Snapshots from my Family Album" and "Snapshots a Blonde View." I am a professional graphic art designer and I produce professional video productions and design websites. http://davedagruber.com http://publishingwithpassion.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Marriage-or-Divorce?&id=6644239] Marriage or Divorce?
Marriage is the unity of two people. I am married for the third time. I sometimes wonder if marriage is right for me. Three strikes and you are out, maybe it applies. I am not getting divorced but I am concerned.
My first marriage was a disaster. My husband was physically abusive. He hurt me many times. I will not mention his name but he is a public figure living in the Bahamas so he doesn't have to pay income tax. We were married for ten years and had one child very early in the marriage. She is now dead.
My eldest daughter saw far too much abuse and her father lied to her after the divorce and made her believe that I did not really love her. I found out from her after she was eighteen that her father has sexually abused her at the age of seventeen. I wanted to press charges against him but my daughter had a fit and said she would testify that I was lying.
Lanie, my daughter got into an abusive relationship. This time it was mentally abusive with a man old enough to be her father. I rescued her and brought her to live with me. I had divorced my second husband by then.
I guess you could say that my second husband appeared to be a good man. Slowly, he started to ignore me and did not want intimate relations since I had said no to anymore children. My second daughter was born when I was thirty-eight and my son was born sixteen months later. He then told me not to wait to eat dinner with him. He would rather read a book while eating. He preferred that to my company.
That marriage ended and my younger children were poisoned by the way my second ex-husband spoke of me. He is a lawyer and got joint custody.
Sometimes I think back and wonder if I just should have stuck with the marriage until the children were eighteen and I had instilled certain virtues in their lives. That fact will probably stay with me until I die because my children want nothing to do with me. Why should they? 'Mr. Lawyer' has the money to pay for the top university for them and supply them with expensive cars. I could not have done that on my own. Isn't that the way our youth thinks? Well my younger two do and the eldest took her own life because of deeds her father had done.
That leads me to my third marriage. I left Canada and became a resident, then a permanent resident and finally a citizen of the United States to be married to this man. I sold my house and left my friends and family. I brought money into my new marriage. You would think that would make my husband a happy man.
This third husband gets involved in his own thoughts and I have been called just a (insert 'bad word' here) Canadian. I am an American now. He did not comfort me when my mother died this past June. By the way, he did not love his mother. He has blamed the fact that she was in a wheel chair and not opted for surgery on his father's death. Once in a while he'll be sorry about how he treats me and hug me and say, "Let's start all over from now."
'Now' does not last long. He says I act like a man. I believe that if I do not agree with him, he feels I am acting tough. He wants to be manly and talk above me at times. He will interrupt me and just talk. He talks to our cleaning lady and I want her to clean. If I make a comment to him on that issue he yells at me saying, "I pay for her to clean; I'll talk as much as I want!"
I have looked up bi-polar and that seems to sum up what my husband is. His behavior is not normal. I don't believe that one leaves a spouse because of an illness. Now, it is up to me to convince him that he has a problem. I have already seen a list of his abnormalities on his desk. Maybe he is looking them up.
My husband speaks kindly to everyone in our lives. I am the only one who he is not nice to most of the time. Well, maybe I am feeling sorry for myself, some of the time may be more correct. Could it be I am just feeling sorry for him? You never know.
This game of marriage can be very tricky. I feel like I should have waited on the second divorce and now I am very hesitant about divorce in general. I am sick of starting all over. I have done it too many times. Now I have become the kind of wife who just disappears into her work and if I hear bad remarks I brush them off my shoulder unless I am writing about them.
I am the owner of Publishing with Passion and Poetry with Passion as well as, author of fifteen books including: "My Blonde World," "Magical Moments," "Bruised but Not Beaten," "Death of a Daughter," "Steelers Cheers," "Red Barn and Other Short Stories," "Cling to the Magic Mere Mortals," "The Blonde Who Found Jesus," "A Blonde View of Life," "Tales of a Tiny Dog," "More Tales of a Tiny Dog," "Castle of Ice," "More Snapshots from my Family Album" and "Snapshots a Blonde View." I am a professional graphic art designer and I produce professional video productions and design websites. http://davedagruber.com http://publishingwithpassion.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Marriage-or-Divorce?&id=6644239] Marriage or Divorce?
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Cow-Chip Throwing And Relevancy In A Good Marriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Lon_Roland]Lon Roland
Whether you are tossing around the old manure or just flinging the bull... in a good marriage... something is bound to grow. Of course that can be a good or a bad thing.
"It's a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as long as he can."�George Bernard Shaw
What is marriage or in this case what is the agronomy of a good marriage that continues to grow. Just like a well placed or designed garden, you need a good catalyst or fertilizer properly administered to get those blooming good results.
The showpiece of a well groomed paradise doesn't take a lot, but the fact is that you do need something to make certain things happen. In a marriage it's no different for making the relationship thrive and grow to it's full potential. After all, our end result is to bear much fruit... the good stuff that keeps on producing year after year. Much like our 30 plus years thus far.
Now, as far as the cow-chip throwing part goes, it's like any good thing you do in the world of gardening... you gotta get down and into the heart of the matter with getting your hands into it.
Whoa there big fella you say. Are you saying get your hands into cow-chips? What's going on here? How does this apply to what a marriage is?
Don't let me lose you here.
Tossing or throwing cow-chips was a fun thing to do as kid in a part of the country that boasted a lot of dairies and dairy cows.
No, I was not raised on a farm and there is certainly nothing wrong with being a farmer and raising and milking dairy cows or any other cow that produces a nice flat chip for throwing. It's precisely thinking like that that can cause problems in a marriage... but I digress.
Whether making mud pies after a spring rain or having crawdad (crayfish) races or tossing cow-chips... as a young inventor of playtime fun left to his own devices...let's just say you find things to do to occupy your time and talents. And cow-chip throwing was just one of those things.
Ha!... now it's a "sport" at county fairs and such and right up there with spittin' watermelon seeds!
As they say... if you haven't tried it... don't knock it. The same with a good marriage.
Whether you're slinging the bull and doing all the bad stuff that gets you into total conflict all the time with your spouse or just having fun and playfully tossing cow-chips, it does take a special art or talent to handle the manure that comes into the marriage picture.
You take that same manure and spread it around your garden paradise and carefully plant what you want to grow, you will be very pleasantly surprised at the things that comprise you marital estate.
When you or anyone else looks upon your garden of a marriage and all the nurturing that you've put into it, you and they will see and understand the things that it took to grow it the way it was intended.
Now. About cow-chip tea. Don't even get me started!
-Lon-
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Cow-Chip-Throwing-And-Relevancy-In-A-Good-Marriage&id=6644072] Cow-Chip Throwing And Relevancy In A Good Marriage
Whether you are tossing around the old manure or just flinging the bull... in a good marriage... something is bound to grow. Of course that can be a good or a bad thing.
"It's a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as long as he can."�George Bernard Shaw
What is marriage or in this case what is the agronomy of a good marriage that continues to grow. Just like a well placed or designed garden, you need a good catalyst or fertilizer properly administered to get those blooming good results.
The showpiece of a well groomed paradise doesn't take a lot, but the fact is that you do need something to make certain things happen. In a marriage it's no different for making the relationship thrive and grow to it's full potential. After all, our end result is to bear much fruit... the good stuff that keeps on producing year after year. Much like our 30 plus years thus far.
Now, as far as the cow-chip throwing part goes, it's like any good thing you do in the world of gardening... you gotta get down and into the heart of the matter with getting your hands into it.
Whoa there big fella you say. Are you saying get your hands into cow-chips? What's going on here? How does this apply to what a marriage is?
Don't let me lose you here.
Tossing or throwing cow-chips was a fun thing to do as kid in a part of the country that boasted a lot of dairies and dairy cows.
No, I was not raised on a farm and there is certainly nothing wrong with being a farmer and raising and milking dairy cows or any other cow that produces a nice flat chip for throwing. It's precisely thinking like that that can cause problems in a marriage... but I digress.
Whether making mud pies after a spring rain or having crawdad (crayfish) races or tossing cow-chips... as a young inventor of playtime fun left to his own devices...let's just say you find things to do to occupy your time and talents. And cow-chip throwing was just one of those things.
Ha!... now it's a "sport" at county fairs and such and right up there with spittin' watermelon seeds!
As they say... if you haven't tried it... don't knock it. The same with a good marriage.
Whether you're slinging the bull and doing all the bad stuff that gets you into total conflict all the time with your spouse or just having fun and playfully tossing cow-chips, it does take a special art or talent to handle the manure that comes into the marriage picture.
You take that same manure and spread it around your garden paradise and carefully plant what you want to grow, you will be very pleasantly surprised at the things that comprise you marital estate.
When you or anyone else looks upon your garden of a marriage and all the nurturing that you've put into it, you and they will see and understand the things that it took to grow it the way it was intended.
Now. About cow-chip tea. Don't even get me started!
-Lon-
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Cow-Chip-Throwing-And-Relevancy-In-A-Good-Marriage&id=6644072] Cow-Chip Throwing And Relevancy In A Good Marriage
Sunday, November 13, 2011
What Complaints Husbands Have About Their Wives - Survey Results
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Benson_Ndaji]Benson Ndaji
God who established this age-long relationship called marriage did not make any mistake. Rather He saw the rich benefits and made this relationship to exist. Whatever that has been going wrong in this relationship is the fault of man. God knows what is good for His creations. It is the fall of Adam that brought complexities in man such that what should have been a simple matter is made to look complex by man. And what should have been taken as a non-issue is made to be an issue by man.
When I say "man" I also include woman. It is man that is creating a lot of problems for himself.
But funny enough we can see that even if a man decides not to marry, he cannot say he has nothing to do with a woman in whatever form. In the same vein, if a woman decides not to marry, she cannot say she has nothing to do with a man in whatever relationship. That is why you still see single ladies having children. It is still men that make them pregnant. That proves to us that the purpose of God in creating man and woman is a perfect one.
Experience has shown that the problems emanating from marriages seem to be unending, surfacing from time to time in different ways and from different families, and from the surveys conducted, many of the problems seem to lie unsolved or they are swept under the carpet. Thus making many spouses to be suffering in silence just for there to be peace especially in African environment.
This leads us to various complaints that husbands make about their wives. I will touch them one by one here so that wives should take note and make adjustments and changes where necessary. Wives also have their own complaints about their husbands but let us discuss first what husbands complain about their wives.
But we should take note that not every woman is guilty of the complaints made against them.
Below are the major complaints of husbands against their wives:
1. Making and keeping bad friends.
Many husbands attribute certain actions, attitudes and behaviors of their wives to making and keeping bad friends.
They complain that their wives that had been good initially, suddenly changed and became different persons altogether. Their characters have changed. Their behaviors and attitudes have changed due to bad advice from friends they keep. As a matter of fact, women are said to be easily vulnerable to swaying to outside influence. They are easily convinced. Because of that nature in them, you see them taking advice from bad friends. Even in fashion and dressing, they easily copy from their fellow women without knowing the motives behind certain fashions and the consequences of such.
Wives should avoid keeping bad friends. If a wife must keep friends, they must be friends of good repute, friends that give them good advice on how to live peacefully with their husbands and their family in general. They should make friends that advise them to be loyal to their husbands.
2. Love and care for their extended family members. (Extended family system is more pronounced in Africa).
It is not in dispute that most wives in this type of family system show more love to their own extended family members more than the family members of their husbands.
This is one of the complaints of many husbands against their wives. Salaries and incomes of many wives, they say, are meant exclusively for their extended family members only, even to the detriment of their own nuclear families.
They see no reason why they should extend their largesse to the extended family of their husbands even if they are dying. Yet they claim they love their husbands. Many wives would even like to bring in their own extended family members to live with them, but would not want any members from their husbands' extended families to come to them. They will give better attention, better food to their own relatives, but not to their husbands' relatives.
Wives should take note that this attitude is not godly no matter the excuses adduced. It shows lack of love for their husbands. You would not say you love your husband, yet you hate his relatives or extended family members.
3. Uncleanliness and Disorderliness.
Little things that matter are in most cases ignored either deliberately or out of ignorance. That is how it is with many wives, as their husbands complain. They ignore their appearances in the house not minding how their husbands feel. Many wives, because they are now married and probably have got children, see no need to keep clean anymore. They see no need to keep attracting their husbands again and in so doing become repulsive and unattractive to their husbands.
Thus, driving away their husbands away from them, probably without even realizing what they are doing. Their attention will now be focused on their children with little or none to their husbands as if their children are only what they come for in the marriage. But when their husbands begin to stay away from them to another women because of their unattractive posture, they would begin to complain.
Some wives keep their houses in disorder and untidy.
No husband would like to see his house in disorder and untidy. No husband would like to see his wife unclean or dirty.
Wives should know that keeping themselves clean and tidy and well dressed, will attract the interest and attention of their husbands, but keeping themselves unclean and untidy will be repulsive to their husbands.
4. Unnecessary Suspicion of husbands over money matters and opposite sex.
Many husbands complain that their wives suspect them unnecessarily over money matters and over opposite sex. They claim that most of the suspicions are uncalled for. Their wives' reasons for suspecting them are that they, as their husbands, might be using their money for their own relatives alone, or for womanizing, for gambling, for pools betting, for alcoholic drinks and other generous gifts they give to other people, especially the opposite sex. They suspect them when they greet some of the opposite sex they are acquainted with, whom their wives may or might not know very well.
Their husbands are saying that even when their wives know that they don't womanize, nor take alcohol nor move any how, yet they still suspect them unnecessarily.
Their wives don't want them to spend for their own (husbands') relatives. They don't want them to spend for those who are in need or for those who need their help. They attribute this attitude to selfishness on the part of their wives.
Wives should understand that no man is an island. And no family is an island either. "Do unto others as you would want others to do for you," says the scriptures. If you don't want your husband to help those who may need your help, when the table turns against you, nobody will help you.
Unnecessary suspicion of husbands over money matters and opposite sex should by all means be avoided or stopped.
5. Betting with sex and lack of response to romantic approaches.
Many husbands complain about their wives betting with sex. That is, telling their husbands that unless they do one thing or the other for them or unless they buy one thing or the other for them, there would be no sex with their husbands, thereby using what belongs to the husband for betting. They forget that this type of action or attitude puts their husbands into temptation and frustration. They also forget that their bodies now belong wholly to their husbands. They also forget the Biblical injunction in 1 Corinthians 7: 4-5a which says, "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time" (King James Version).
This means that wives should note that their bodies are now for their husbands and should not use them for betting.
Another worrisome attitude or behavior, according to some husbands, is the situation where many wives would not respond to the romantic approaches of their husbands. When their husbands' hands touch them, they would behave as if their husbands' hands are full of thorns. Sometimes they would push their husbands away with all seriousness. And this causes frustration to their husbands. This is not only frustrating, but also annoying and is capable of driving their husbands away from their homes. Further still, while in bed with their husbands, some wives would stay like logs of wood when having sex with their husbands. There would not be appropriate responses to their husbands touches which are expected from them. This makes many husbands to suffer in silence.
This is a very serious matter that wives should not allow to continue. By doing this you are driving your husbands away from you and your families. You are driving them away to other women.
6. Nagging.
Nagging can be frustrating. Nagging can be repulsive. Nagging can drive a husband away from his wife. Nagging is a disease that can eat away the happiness and joy of spouses. Nagging can cause marriage breakdowns. It can strain spouses' relationships.
What is nagging?
Nagging is the act of complaining about or criticizing or worrying somebody continuously and in the process gets his or her mind hurt.
Nagging is said to be common among women although some women allege that their husbands do also nag. Many husbands have complained bitterly about their wives' nagging. Nagging does not breed love; rather it breeds hatred. Many wives claim that nagging is not without a cause. They try to justify their nagging by saying that it is their husbands' refusal to change for better that make them to nag. Although what they are saying may be true, that does not justify their nagging.
It is argued that the manner of approach matters and that wives should adopt appropriate ways of approaching their husbands for a change such as dialogues and bed talks.
There are other complaints of husbands against their wives but the ones enumerated and explained above are the major ones, according to the survey carried out.
Wives should therefore study them, take note of them and make some positive and appropriate changes. [http://www.happylifebooks.com] http://beneficialproductsmarketing.blogspot.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Complaints-Husbands-Have-About-Their-Wives---Survey-Results&id=6372924] What Complaints Husbands Have About Their Wives - Survey Results
God who established this age-long relationship called marriage did not make any mistake. Rather He saw the rich benefits and made this relationship to exist. Whatever that has been going wrong in this relationship is the fault of man. God knows what is good for His creations. It is the fall of Adam that brought complexities in man such that what should have been a simple matter is made to look complex by man. And what should have been taken as a non-issue is made to be an issue by man.
When I say "man" I also include woman. It is man that is creating a lot of problems for himself.
But funny enough we can see that even if a man decides not to marry, he cannot say he has nothing to do with a woman in whatever form. In the same vein, if a woman decides not to marry, she cannot say she has nothing to do with a man in whatever relationship. That is why you still see single ladies having children. It is still men that make them pregnant. That proves to us that the purpose of God in creating man and woman is a perfect one.
Experience has shown that the problems emanating from marriages seem to be unending, surfacing from time to time in different ways and from different families, and from the surveys conducted, many of the problems seem to lie unsolved or they are swept under the carpet. Thus making many spouses to be suffering in silence just for there to be peace especially in African environment.
This leads us to various complaints that husbands make about their wives. I will touch them one by one here so that wives should take note and make adjustments and changes where necessary. Wives also have their own complaints about their husbands but let us discuss first what husbands complain about their wives.
But we should take note that not every woman is guilty of the complaints made against them.
Below are the major complaints of husbands against their wives:
1. Making and keeping bad friends.
Many husbands attribute certain actions, attitudes and behaviors of their wives to making and keeping bad friends.
They complain that their wives that had been good initially, suddenly changed and became different persons altogether. Their characters have changed. Their behaviors and attitudes have changed due to bad advice from friends they keep. As a matter of fact, women are said to be easily vulnerable to swaying to outside influence. They are easily convinced. Because of that nature in them, you see them taking advice from bad friends. Even in fashion and dressing, they easily copy from their fellow women without knowing the motives behind certain fashions and the consequences of such.
Wives should avoid keeping bad friends. If a wife must keep friends, they must be friends of good repute, friends that give them good advice on how to live peacefully with their husbands and their family in general. They should make friends that advise them to be loyal to their husbands.
2. Love and care for their extended family members. (Extended family system is more pronounced in Africa).
It is not in dispute that most wives in this type of family system show more love to their own extended family members more than the family members of their husbands.
This is one of the complaints of many husbands against their wives. Salaries and incomes of many wives, they say, are meant exclusively for their extended family members only, even to the detriment of their own nuclear families.
They see no reason why they should extend their largesse to the extended family of their husbands even if they are dying. Yet they claim they love their husbands. Many wives would even like to bring in their own extended family members to live with them, but would not want any members from their husbands' extended families to come to them. They will give better attention, better food to their own relatives, but not to their husbands' relatives.
Wives should take note that this attitude is not godly no matter the excuses adduced. It shows lack of love for their husbands. You would not say you love your husband, yet you hate his relatives or extended family members.
3. Uncleanliness and Disorderliness.
Little things that matter are in most cases ignored either deliberately or out of ignorance. That is how it is with many wives, as their husbands complain. They ignore their appearances in the house not minding how their husbands feel. Many wives, because they are now married and probably have got children, see no need to keep clean anymore. They see no need to keep attracting their husbands again and in so doing become repulsive and unattractive to their husbands.
Thus, driving away their husbands away from them, probably without even realizing what they are doing. Their attention will now be focused on their children with little or none to their husbands as if their children are only what they come for in the marriage. But when their husbands begin to stay away from them to another women because of their unattractive posture, they would begin to complain.
Some wives keep their houses in disorder and untidy.
No husband would like to see his house in disorder and untidy. No husband would like to see his wife unclean or dirty.
Wives should know that keeping themselves clean and tidy and well dressed, will attract the interest and attention of their husbands, but keeping themselves unclean and untidy will be repulsive to their husbands.
4. Unnecessary Suspicion of husbands over money matters and opposite sex.
Many husbands complain that their wives suspect them unnecessarily over money matters and over opposite sex. They claim that most of the suspicions are uncalled for. Their wives' reasons for suspecting them are that they, as their husbands, might be using their money for their own relatives alone, or for womanizing, for gambling, for pools betting, for alcoholic drinks and other generous gifts they give to other people, especially the opposite sex. They suspect them when they greet some of the opposite sex they are acquainted with, whom their wives may or might not know very well.
Their husbands are saying that even when their wives know that they don't womanize, nor take alcohol nor move any how, yet they still suspect them unnecessarily.
Their wives don't want them to spend for their own (husbands') relatives. They don't want them to spend for those who are in need or for those who need their help. They attribute this attitude to selfishness on the part of their wives.
Wives should understand that no man is an island. And no family is an island either. "Do unto others as you would want others to do for you," says the scriptures. If you don't want your husband to help those who may need your help, when the table turns against you, nobody will help you.
Unnecessary suspicion of husbands over money matters and opposite sex should by all means be avoided or stopped.
5. Betting with sex and lack of response to romantic approaches.
Many husbands complain about their wives betting with sex. That is, telling their husbands that unless they do one thing or the other for them or unless they buy one thing or the other for them, there would be no sex with their husbands, thereby using what belongs to the husband for betting. They forget that this type of action or attitude puts their husbands into temptation and frustration. They also forget that their bodies now belong wholly to their husbands. They also forget the Biblical injunction in 1 Corinthians 7: 4-5a which says, "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time" (King James Version).
This means that wives should note that their bodies are now for their husbands and should not use them for betting.
Another worrisome attitude or behavior, according to some husbands, is the situation where many wives would not respond to the romantic approaches of their husbands. When their husbands' hands touch them, they would behave as if their husbands' hands are full of thorns. Sometimes they would push their husbands away with all seriousness. And this causes frustration to their husbands. This is not only frustrating, but also annoying and is capable of driving their husbands away from their homes. Further still, while in bed with their husbands, some wives would stay like logs of wood when having sex with their husbands. There would not be appropriate responses to their husbands touches which are expected from them. This makes many husbands to suffer in silence.
This is a very serious matter that wives should not allow to continue. By doing this you are driving your husbands away from you and your families. You are driving them away to other women.
6. Nagging.
Nagging can be frustrating. Nagging can be repulsive. Nagging can drive a husband away from his wife. Nagging is a disease that can eat away the happiness and joy of spouses. Nagging can cause marriage breakdowns. It can strain spouses' relationships.
What is nagging?
Nagging is the act of complaining about or criticizing or worrying somebody continuously and in the process gets his or her mind hurt.
Nagging is said to be common among women although some women allege that their husbands do also nag. Many husbands have complained bitterly about their wives' nagging. Nagging does not breed love; rather it breeds hatred. Many wives claim that nagging is not without a cause. They try to justify their nagging by saying that it is their husbands' refusal to change for better that make them to nag. Although what they are saying may be true, that does not justify their nagging.
It is argued that the manner of approach matters and that wives should adopt appropriate ways of approaching their husbands for a change such as dialogues and bed talks.
There are other complaints of husbands against their wives but the ones enumerated and explained above are the major ones, according to the survey carried out.
Wives should therefore study them, take note of them and make some positive and appropriate changes. [http://www.happylifebooks.com] http://beneficialproductsmarketing.blogspot.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Complaints-Husbands-Have-About-Their-Wives---Survey-Results&id=6372924] What Complaints Husbands Have About Their Wives - Survey Results
Friday, November 11, 2011
How to Do a Beautiful Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Bryan_M_Bratt]Bryan M Bratt
Whether it's your own, your daughter's or just helping a friend these ideas can be used for all of them. I myself have been married twice and have 3 daughters that I did weddings for using these ideas and they were beautiful.
One of the first things you need to do is decide whether you want an outside or inside wedding.
For outside weddings a good place to check out that are inexpensive are your local parks. Many of your county and state parks have covered and enclosed pavilions along with some really nice outside environment areas that a really perfect for weddings. Another idea is to check with friends and family, some of them have nice outside areas that can be used. You can find outside wedding tents at most rental places, if you look around and talk to some of them you can get a good deal.
If you prefer to have an inside wedding and your preference is a church of course the best place to check is a church you may already attend or if you don't attend one now you can check with the church you grew up in. Your local community center is another place that is inexpensive and can be made to look very nice. Plus the community centers are very flexible to use, some even provide full kitchens.
Your colors will probably have a big affect on where you have the wedding also. You don't want to pick a place that might have carpeting and other furnishings that clash with your color scheme. Colors are pretty easy just use your favorite, you don't necessarily have to use what's in season or anything like that. But at least choose a dark, medium and light. It is probably a good idea to keep some alternates in mind just in case one of your colors do not work out.
Your next obstacle is invitations. Now there are many good programs you can get to do invitations on your computer. All your office supply stores sell a huge variety of card stock for the invitations along with a great selection of envelopes to choose from. They are really fun to play around with and experiment. Your wedding invitation should be a reflection of your personality so have fun with it. Take your time and look through the whole program and all the graphics to choose the best that suits you. I have made invitations this way for around $50 for over a 100 of them. It really does depend on what you want, but it can be done.
Wedding bouquets can look like they are complicated, but in reality they are very easy and inexpensive to do. The best place that I have found to get cheap and good looking flowers is your local flea markets. They have a really big selection and you can haggle with the vendor to get a good price. If you don't have a flea market available you can try your local dollar store or thrift shops.
You can choose whether to put them together with their stems on and tie a ribbon around the bottom or to arrange them in a Styrofoam holder (which can be bought at most craft stores). And just like with the invitations, play around with them arrange and rearrange till you find the position you like. Your imagination is your only limitation. Anything can be added or done with flowers to show your own style and personality. Just don't forget the boutonni�re's for the guys and corsages' for the important women in the family. Mainly the Mother & Grandmother of the Bride and Groom, that is one tradition you don't want to miss. Also make one for any other women who might be helping out a lot with anything. It's important to always remember to show your appreciation to all those who put in their time to help.
The best place to find stuff for the centerpieces and decorations for the wedding are Dollar Tree stores or small local hobby and craft stores. Really I prefer the Dollar Tree stores they have almost anything you could possibly need. The one I use has flowers, candles, paper decorations, glass cylinders, marble stones, nice clear plastic serving trays. I mean it's just a decorators dream shop. I absolutely love that place. My one daughter wanted to do a beach wedding theme I found everything I needed there even the shells. It was great. And if you don't have one of those Dollar Tree stores around you can still check with thrift stores, yard sales are another good place to check and don't forget about the flea markets or road side craft vendors. The internet is a really good place to look at ideas and you can find some really good websites that can show you step by step how to do things.
Bottom line is to use your imagination because now a days almost anything goes with weddings. Always look for the out of the way shops, they can normally give you a better deal on things. There are some etiquette things that should still be observed like the corsages for the important women and following your beliefs, whether that involves religion or heritage, you should always consider that. Just always remember it's your imagination that you can use, so have fun enjoy planning this day. It is one of the most important days of your life make it your own style, show off your personality.
The Wedding Blog where you are featured! http://www.minneapolisweddingblog.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Do-a-Beautiful-Wedding-Without-Breaking-the-Bank&id=6644088] How to Do a Beautiful Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Whether it's your own, your daughter's or just helping a friend these ideas can be used for all of them. I myself have been married twice and have 3 daughters that I did weddings for using these ideas and they were beautiful.
One of the first things you need to do is decide whether you want an outside or inside wedding.
For outside weddings a good place to check out that are inexpensive are your local parks. Many of your county and state parks have covered and enclosed pavilions along with some really nice outside environment areas that a really perfect for weddings. Another idea is to check with friends and family, some of them have nice outside areas that can be used. You can find outside wedding tents at most rental places, if you look around and talk to some of them you can get a good deal.
If you prefer to have an inside wedding and your preference is a church of course the best place to check is a church you may already attend or if you don't attend one now you can check with the church you grew up in. Your local community center is another place that is inexpensive and can be made to look very nice. Plus the community centers are very flexible to use, some even provide full kitchens.
Your colors will probably have a big affect on where you have the wedding also. You don't want to pick a place that might have carpeting and other furnishings that clash with your color scheme. Colors are pretty easy just use your favorite, you don't necessarily have to use what's in season or anything like that. But at least choose a dark, medium and light. It is probably a good idea to keep some alternates in mind just in case one of your colors do not work out.
Your next obstacle is invitations. Now there are many good programs you can get to do invitations on your computer. All your office supply stores sell a huge variety of card stock for the invitations along with a great selection of envelopes to choose from. They are really fun to play around with and experiment. Your wedding invitation should be a reflection of your personality so have fun with it. Take your time and look through the whole program and all the graphics to choose the best that suits you. I have made invitations this way for around $50 for over a 100 of them. It really does depend on what you want, but it can be done.
Wedding bouquets can look like they are complicated, but in reality they are very easy and inexpensive to do. The best place that I have found to get cheap and good looking flowers is your local flea markets. They have a really big selection and you can haggle with the vendor to get a good price. If you don't have a flea market available you can try your local dollar store or thrift shops.
You can choose whether to put them together with their stems on and tie a ribbon around the bottom or to arrange them in a Styrofoam holder (which can be bought at most craft stores). And just like with the invitations, play around with them arrange and rearrange till you find the position you like. Your imagination is your only limitation. Anything can be added or done with flowers to show your own style and personality. Just don't forget the boutonni�re's for the guys and corsages' for the important women in the family. Mainly the Mother & Grandmother of the Bride and Groom, that is one tradition you don't want to miss. Also make one for any other women who might be helping out a lot with anything. It's important to always remember to show your appreciation to all those who put in their time to help.
The best place to find stuff for the centerpieces and decorations for the wedding are Dollar Tree stores or small local hobby and craft stores. Really I prefer the Dollar Tree stores they have almost anything you could possibly need. The one I use has flowers, candles, paper decorations, glass cylinders, marble stones, nice clear plastic serving trays. I mean it's just a decorators dream shop. I absolutely love that place. My one daughter wanted to do a beach wedding theme I found everything I needed there even the shells. It was great. And if you don't have one of those Dollar Tree stores around you can still check with thrift stores, yard sales are another good place to check and don't forget about the flea markets or road side craft vendors. The internet is a really good place to look at ideas and you can find some really good websites that can show you step by step how to do things.
Bottom line is to use your imagination because now a days almost anything goes with weddings. Always look for the out of the way shops, they can normally give you a better deal on things. There are some etiquette things that should still be observed like the corsages for the important women and following your beliefs, whether that involves religion or heritage, you should always consider that. Just always remember it's your imagination that you can use, so have fun enjoy planning this day. It is one of the most important days of your life make it your own style, show off your personality.
The Wedding Blog where you are featured! http://www.minneapolisweddingblog.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Do-a-Beautiful-Wedding-Without-Breaking-the-Bank&id=6644088] How to Do a Beautiful Wedding Without Breaking the Bank
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
How to Be a Better Wife - How to Keep Your Husband
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Evangeline_K_Harris]Evangeline K Harris Are you wondering how to be a better wife? Is your marriage going through a rough patch and you are looking to information on how to be a better wife? How you can you be a better wife to your husband?
You may feel as though your marriage is going through a hard part and it could be better if you are a better wife. Of course, your husband may need to step up to the plate as well, but there are some things you can do to help put your marriage back on the right track by being a better wife. Keep reading for some tips on what you can do.
Lay Off of your Husband
One way to be a better wife is to lay off a little bit. Even though he may not always act like it, your husband is a grown man and he has the right to have his own opinions and desires. You may want to back off a little bit and let him get to his chores when he gets to them. If all you do is nag him, the quicker he is going to feel resentment toward you. It is far better to go after him with honey than vinegar. Chances are that if you are nicer when asking him to do something, he will be much more receptive.
Forgive and Forget
If you have had a fight, get over it. When a fight is more than a week or so in the past, it is better to just forget it. You can be a better wife by not reminding your husband of the fight every day. You need to move on.
Fight Fairly
You will get into a fight with your husband. All couples do and you will be no different. However, when it happens, be careful to not hit, spit, call him names or break things. Just say what is on your mind and don't crush him while doing so. Try to remain as calm as you can and then come to a compromise. Try to never go to bed mad at each other and forget about the fight as soon as you can.
Tell Him You Love Him
You need to tell your husband that you love him in order to be a better wife. All people like to know they are wanted and needed and by telling him that you love him, you are also helping his ego.
Respect Him
No, this is not the dark ages, but you still need to respect your husband when you are out in public and at home. What happens between the two of you should stay that way. Try to resist the urge to call your mother or best friend every time you get annoyed with him.
Teamwork
Remember that you are a team and things in your household will work much smoother if you do things together. Try to do chores with each and have a hobby together as well.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Fall in Love with you.
Evangeline Harris is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Be-a-Better-Wife---How-to-Keep-Your-Husband&id=6653221] How to Be a Better Wife - How to Keep Your Husband
You may feel as though your marriage is going through a hard part and it could be better if you are a better wife. Of course, your husband may need to step up to the plate as well, but there are some things you can do to help put your marriage back on the right track by being a better wife. Keep reading for some tips on what you can do.
Lay Off of your Husband
One way to be a better wife is to lay off a little bit. Even though he may not always act like it, your husband is a grown man and he has the right to have his own opinions and desires. You may want to back off a little bit and let him get to his chores when he gets to them. If all you do is nag him, the quicker he is going to feel resentment toward you. It is far better to go after him with honey than vinegar. Chances are that if you are nicer when asking him to do something, he will be much more receptive.
Forgive and Forget
If you have had a fight, get over it. When a fight is more than a week or so in the past, it is better to just forget it. You can be a better wife by not reminding your husband of the fight every day. You need to move on.
Fight Fairly
You will get into a fight with your husband. All couples do and you will be no different. However, when it happens, be careful to not hit, spit, call him names or break things. Just say what is on your mind and don't crush him while doing so. Try to remain as calm as you can and then come to a compromise. Try to never go to bed mad at each other and forget about the fight as soon as you can.
Tell Him You Love Him
You need to tell your husband that you love him in order to be a better wife. All people like to know they are wanted and needed and by telling him that you love him, you are also helping his ego.
Respect Him
No, this is not the dark ages, but you still need to respect your husband when you are out in public and at home. What happens between the two of you should stay that way. Try to resist the urge to call your mother or best friend every time you get annoyed with him.
Teamwork
Remember that you are a team and things in your household will work much smoother if you do things together. Try to do chores with each and have a hobby together as well.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Fall in Love with you.
Evangeline Harris is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Be-a-Better-Wife---How-to-Keep-Your-Husband&id=6653221] How to Be a Better Wife - How to Keep Your Husband
Monday, November 7, 2011
Using Your Gut to ID Signs of a Cheating Husband
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Genevive_C_Dougherty]Genevive C Dougherty
Have you recently found yourself entertaining the gut feeling that your husband could possibly be cheating on you?
Did you know that 85% of the time when your gut feeling tells you that you're being cheated on, it's correct? This means that just by being here, reading this article, there is less a one in five chance that your husband is not cheating on you!
Pretty astonishing it, isn't it?
You may have been told that it is next to impossible to catch a cheater in the act unless they make a mistake, but I'm here to tell you that everyone makes mistakes. And I mean EVERYONE. If you're in an affair, there are signs of cheating there to be seen, you just have to look and find them.
So what does this mean for you, the suspicious wife?
It means that at this point there's only one thing left for you to do...To at least confirm your suspicions to the point that you can justify either hiring a private investigator, or employing underhanded tactics such as GPS tracking to get physical, court worthy proof of cheating.
Don't worry, it won't be nearly as difficult as you think. Remember, everyone makes mistakes. Even if your husband is a really clever guy, there's no way that he's hiding all of his tracks.
That's just the way things work.
So, that being said, here are 3 signs of a cheating husband that you can use to start your investigation:
Cheating Sign #1) Trust Your Gut Feeling
Okay okay, I know that I already sort of said this one, but it's really important and I wanted to make sure that you understand exactly what it means. I'm sure that you've heard the saying that "A woman's gut never lies", but even if you haven't I'm sure you understand the point.
Basically, you're feminine intuition is extremely attuned to your husband's normal behavior, so if your internal instincts are screaming that something's wrong, then guess what?
There's something wrong.
The fact that your wifey senses are tingling means that there are marital problems afoot, even if he's not cheating on you.
Cheating Sign #2) Your Man Gets Defensive...ALWAYS
This one depends on how much you've already questioned your spouse. Have you raised your suspicions about his affair to him?
I'm hoping that the answer is no, but if you have you can learn a lot from his response.
Even if you haven't directly confronted him, chances are that you have asked him about where he's been, what he's been doing, or who he's been doing it with at some point or another, and have seen him get into an extremely closed up state.
If he gets defensive, a little bit angry, and just generally standoffish...This is the sign that there's something he's hiding.
Cheating Sign #3) You're Not Invited to Office Parties
In case you don't already know, work affairs are quickly becoming one of the most common types of infidelity around, mostly thanks to the evolution of two working parents and the ease of mobile communication.
These days your spouse in spending more time at work than he is with you...Even a normal 40 hours work week doesn't leave too much quality intimacy time for the two of you, and if he's working closer to 50 or 60, or if you have kids (or both), then chances are you and your husband really don't get too many of those close, romantic date nights.
Obviously, if your husband is starting to become interested in someone at his place of work, then you are certainly not going to be invited to his office events. He will do everything in his power to keep you from either being interested or just from going in general.
Unfortunately in this article I've only barely brushed the surface of the many signs of cheating available to you, however, I don't want you to be discouraged just because you've still got some questions.
I'd like to help you out, so this is what I'm going to do for you:
Do you want to learn some more of the most common [http://signscheating.com/suspect/signs-of-cheating/]signs of cheating seen in today's modern marriage? Doing so will not only reemphasize many of the points discussed here, but also go into some things like how to deal with 'close friends', your sex life, and other touchy subjects. Just visit our home page at http://SignsCheating.com/ to get 101 signs of cheating for absolutely free. Anyways, good luck either way!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Using-Your-Gut-to-ID-Signs-of-a-Cheating-Husband&id=6645951] Using Your Gut to ID Signs of a Cheating Husband
Have you recently found yourself entertaining the gut feeling that your husband could possibly be cheating on you?
Did you know that 85% of the time when your gut feeling tells you that you're being cheated on, it's correct? This means that just by being here, reading this article, there is less a one in five chance that your husband is not cheating on you!
Pretty astonishing it, isn't it?
You may have been told that it is next to impossible to catch a cheater in the act unless they make a mistake, but I'm here to tell you that everyone makes mistakes. And I mean EVERYONE. If you're in an affair, there are signs of cheating there to be seen, you just have to look and find them.
So what does this mean for you, the suspicious wife?
It means that at this point there's only one thing left for you to do...To at least confirm your suspicions to the point that you can justify either hiring a private investigator, or employing underhanded tactics such as GPS tracking to get physical, court worthy proof of cheating.
Don't worry, it won't be nearly as difficult as you think. Remember, everyone makes mistakes. Even if your husband is a really clever guy, there's no way that he's hiding all of his tracks.
That's just the way things work.
So, that being said, here are 3 signs of a cheating husband that you can use to start your investigation:
Cheating Sign #1) Trust Your Gut Feeling
Okay okay, I know that I already sort of said this one, but it's really important and I wanted to make sure that you understand exactly what it means. I'm sure that you've heard the saying that "A woman's gut never lies", but even if you haven't I'm sure you understand the point.
Basically, you're feminine intuition is extremely attuned to your husband's normal behavior, so if your internal instincts are screaming that something's wrong, then guess what?
There's something wrong.
The fact that your wifey senses are tingling means that there are marital problems afoot, even if he's not cheating on you.
Cheating Sign #2) Your Man Gets Defensive...ALWAYS
This one depends on how much you've already questioned your spouse. Have you raised your suspicions about his affair to him?
I'm hoping that the answer is no, but if you have you can learn a lot from his response.
Even if you haven't directly confronted him, chances are that you have asked him about where he's been, what he's been doing, or who he's been doing it with at some point or another, and have seen him get into an extremely closed up state.
If he gets defensive, a little bit angry, and just generally standoffish...This is the sign that there's something he's hiding.
Cheating Sign #3) You're Not Invited to Office Parties
In case you don't already know, work affairs are quickly becoming one of the most common types of infidelity around, mostly thanks to the evolution of two working parents and the ease of mobile communication.
These days your spouse in spending more time at work than he is with you...Even a normal 40 hours work week doesn't leave too much quality intimacy time for the two of you, and if he's working closer to 50 or 60, or if you have kids (or both), then chances are you and your husband really don't get too many of those close, romantic date nights.
Obviously, if your husband is starting to become interested in someone at his place of work, then you are certainly not going to be invited to his office events. He will do everything in his power to keep you from either being interested or just from going in general.
Unfortunately in this article I've only barely brushed the surface of the many signs of cheating available to you, however, I don't want you to be discouraged just because you've still got some questions.
I'd like to help you out, so this is what I'm going to do for you:
Do you want to learn some more of the most common [http://signscheating.com/suspect/signs-of-cheating/]signs of cheating seen in today's modern marriage? Doing so will not only reemphasize many of the points discussed here, but also go into some things like how to deal with 'close friends', your sex life, and other touchy subjects. Just visit our home page at http://SignsCheating.com/ to get 101 signs of cheating for absolutely free. Anyways, good luck either way!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Using-Your-Gut-to-ID-Signs-of-a-Cheating-Husband&id=6645951] Using Your Gut to ID Signs of a Cheating Husband
Saturday, November 5, 2011
What Signs of a Cheating Husband Plague Your Marriage?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Genevive_C_Dougherty]Genevive C Dougherty
Do you suddenly find yourself questioning your husband's every move?
Has your husband been acting really weird recently, causing you to suspect whether or not he's being faithful to you and your marriage?
Well ma'am, I'm sorry to say, but as it stands right now there's less than a 25% chance that your husband is NOT cheating on you. That's just plain ol' statistics talking, there.
However, even though I'm sure that right now you're feeling both confused and distraught, I urge you to keep your composure.
Coming at your husband guns blazing and throwing suspicions at him all over the place is NOT the way to handle this situation.
Nope, instead what I'd like to do in this article is talk to you about a few of the most common signs of cheating you're likely to see when your husband is having an affair. This way you can move also be closer to its confirm your suspicions, and from there decide whether or not you want to take further action.
I'm hoping that after you're done reading this article you realize that your husband is NOT cheating on you, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?
Well, without further adieu, let's discuss 3 signs of a cheating husband that you should know about.
3 Common Signs of a Cheating Husband
As I already said, just because your husband fits into one of these cheating signs doesn't necessarily mean that he's having an affair. If he fits into more than one, will you should probably be concerned, but not yet confrontational.
At the end of the article I'll talk to you more about how you can get rock solid proof of cheating, but for right now let's just talk about the signs, okay?
Sign #1) His Work Schedule is Much Heavier than it Used to Be
Did you know that workplace affairs are widely cited as the second most common type of infidelity? (First being online or virtual cheating)
I mean think about it, if you have a crush on someone that you're spending 40 hours per week with, it's going to take some pretty strong willpower to withstand hooking up, especially if you're given the opportunity. In fact, in a recent study (2003, Vault Office Romance) it was found that 50% of all sampled employees have engaged in an extramarital relationship through their place of employment, and another 20% said that they would like to.
Those numbers certainly aren't on your side.
So if you notice that your husband has been spending a couple extra hours at work one are two nights a week, go ahead and start taking note of when and where he says he's going. Over time you may notice that he has a pattern, which could definitely point to an affair.
Sign #2) One of His Buddies Seems...Cold?
I'm not exactly sure how to explain this, but 9 times out of 10 you can learn a lot from examining the way that one of your spouse's close friends interact with you. Many times they will give something away without even knowing it.
See, chances are that your husband is very used to lying to you by now.
This is good for him, but bad for us. So what we are going to do instead is look to someone who is not quite as used to lying to you for the signs of a cheating husband that we need.
A lot of times you can simply trust your gut on this one, if there's a slightly weird vibe coming from one of your husband's friends when he's around you (or she), then make sure you make a note in the back of your mind.
Sign #3) He Changes his Email Password, or Stops Sharing it With You
Has your husband recently started clamming up when it comes to emails and his e-mail account in general?
Perhaps you discover that he's open up a new e-mail account without telling you about it?
As I said before, online infidelity is the most common type of cheating that there is right now. In fact, in a 2009 survey of divorce attorneys (maybe 2010, I'm not sure) it was found that over 30% of all divorces are caused by Internet cheating.
That means 1/3 all marriages in the U.S. will end because one spouse or the other decided to hook up with someone online, or perform some other type of Internet based infidelity.
What I'm saying with all this is that you should not take it lightly at all if your husband is acting suspicious on the computer. There is almost 100% guaranteed to be something that he is hiding from you.
Obviously this might not be something that you can check, but there are tools out there that allow you to do so easily and quickly. But I don't want to talk about that in this particular article.
Getting Proof and Beyond
As you may have noticed throughout this article I've talked to you a lot about taking note of any signs of cheating that you notice. I'm not telling you to go out and confront your husband tonight, I'm telling you to study, observe, and hypothesize.
In order to catch your husband's affair you're going to need to be cold, calculating and sneaky. Trust me, he's doing the same thing to you.
Listen, I know that you've probably still got quite a few questions for me, and don't worry, that's normal.
However, I'm not going to write an entire eBook here, so what I'd like to do instead is recommend you to some of my other resources.
First, if you'd like to learn more about what your husband is doing behind your back, I highly recommend this free, in depth article on [http://signscheating.com/suspect/signs-of-a-cheating-husband/]signs of a cheating husband. However, if you're ready to get rock solid proof of cheating and would like to learn as much as possible about how to do so, then you'll need all the FREE resources I provide on my affair-help blog: http://SignsCheating.com
Stop stalling, stop feeling sorry for yourself, just start moving forward. That's the best that you can do right now.
Whenever you do from here, I wish you the absolute best of luck!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Signs-of-a-Cheating-Husband-Plague-Your-Marriage?&id=6645966] What Signs of a Cheating Husband Plague Your Marriage?
Do you suddenly find yourself questioning your husband's every move?
Has your husband been acting really weird recently, causing you to suspect whether or not he's being faithful to you and your marriage?
Well ma'am, I'm sorry to say, but as it stands right now there's less than a 25% chance that your husband is NOT cheating on you. That's just plain ol' statistics talking, there.
However, even though I'm sure that right now you're feeling both confused and distraught, I urge you to keep your composure.
Coming at your husband guns blazing and throwing suspicions at him all over the place is NOT the way to handle this situation.
Nope, instead what I'd like to do in this article is talk to you about a few of the most common signs of cheating you're likely to see when your husband is having an affair. This way you can move also be closer to its confirm your suspicions, and from there decide whether or not you want to take further action.
I'm hoping that after you're done reading this article you realize that your husband is NOT cheating on you, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?
Well, without further adieu, let's discuss 3 signs of a cheating husband that you should know about.
3 Common Signs of a Cheating Husband
As I already said, just because your husband fits into one of these cheating signs doesn't necessarily mean that he's having an affair. If he fits into more than one, will you should probably be concerned, but not yet confrontational.
At the end of the article I'll talk to you more about how you can get rock solid proof of cheating, but for right now let's just talk about the signs, okay?
Sign #1) His Work Schedule is Much Heavier than it Used to Be
Did you know that workplace affairs are widely cited as the second most common type of infidelity? (First being online or virtual cheating)
I mean think about it, if you have a crush on someone that you're spending 40 hours per week with, it's going to take some pretty strong willpower to withstand hooking up, especially if you're given the opportunity. In fact, in a recent study (2003, Vault Office Romance) it was found that 50% of all sampled employees have engaged in an extramarital relationship through their place of employment, and another 20% said that they would like to.
Those numbers certainly aren't on your side.
So if you notice that your husband has been spending a couple extra hours at work one are two nights a week, go ahead and start taking note of when and where he says he's going. Over time you may notice that he has a pattern, which could definitely point to an affair.
Sign #2) One of His Buddies Seems...Cold?
I'm not exactly sure how to explain this, but 9 times out of 10 you can learn a lot from examining the way that one of your spouse's close friends interact with you. Many times they will give something away without even knowing it.
See, chances are that your husband is very used to lying to you by now.
This is good for him, but bad for us. So what we are going to do instead is look to someone who is not quite as used to lying to you for the signs of a cheating husband that we need.
A lot of times you can simply trust your gut on this one, if there's a slightly weird vibe coming from one of your husband's friends when he's around you (or she), then make sure you make a note in the back of your mind.
Sign #3) He Changes his Email Password, or Stops Sharing it With You
Has your husband recently started clamming up when it comes to emails and his e-mail account in general?
Perhaps you discover that he's open up a new e-mail account without telling you about it?
As I said before, online infidelity is the most common type of cheating that there is right now. In fact, in a 2009 survey of divorce attorneys (maybe 2010, I'm not sure) it was found that over 30% of all divorces are caused by Internet cheating.
That means 1/3 all marriages in the U.S. will end because one spouse or the other decided to hook up with someone online, or perform some other type of Internet based infidelity.
What I'm saying with all this is that you should not take it lightly at all if your husband is acting suspicious on the computer. There is almost 100% guaranteed to be something that he is hiding from you.
Obviously this might not be something that you can check, but there are tools out there that allow you to do so easily and quickly. But I don't want to talk about that in this particular article.
Getting Proof and Beyond
As you may have noticed throughout this article I've talked to you a lot about taking note of any signs of cheating that you notice. I'm not telling you to go out and confront your husband tonight, I'm telling you to study, observe, and hypothesize.
In order to catch your husband's affair you're going to need to be cold, calculating and sneaky. Trust me, he's doing the same thing to you.
Listen, I know that you've probably still got quite a few questions for me, and don't worry, that's normal.
However, I'm not going to write an entire eBook here, so what I'd like to do instead is recommend you to some of my other resources.
First, if you'd like to learn more about what your husband is doing behind your back, I highly recommend this free, in depth article on [http://signscheating.com/suspect/signs-of-a-cheating-husband/]signs of a cheating husband. However, if you're ready to get rock solid proof of cheating and would like to learn as much as possible about how to do so, then you'll need all the FREE resources I provide on my affair-help blog: http://SignsCheating.com
Stop stalling, stop feeling sorry for yourself, just start moving forward. That's the best that you can do right now.
Whenever you do from here, I wish you the absolute best of luck!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Signs-of-a-Cheating-Husband-Plague-Your-Marriage?&id=6645966] What Signs of a Cheating Husband Plague Your Marriage?
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Help For Your Marriage May Be Just Around The Corner
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kari_Farmer]Kari Farmer
When your marriage is in trouble and has come to a standstill then you need to go out and get help. You obviously can not fix the situation on your own, or it would be fixed, and fixing the issues is the only way to get on the road to having a healthy and happy marriage.
So where can you turn to for help with your marriage? Just about everywhere! All you have to do is to be open to the advice you receive and apply what you resonate with to your marriage.
Here are some places to look for help for your marriage:
Friends
Sometimes we don't want to admit to our friends that we are having issues, but if you want to fix your marriage then it may be necessary.
Not just any friends will do here! You are looking for friends that have gone through tough times similar to you and have made it through with flying colors. These are the people who have been there and have some answers that worked for them, which may work for you as well.
Of course the downside is your friends will know what's going on and constantly want to know if you are doing better. This can get annoying and intrusive after a while. And some friends will judge you for where you are and it can cause a rift in the friendship. It's best to only consult with a trusted friend.
Relationship Forums
If you are too scared to talk to people you know then you may want to talk to a bunch of strangers. Why would you do that? Because they are going to be open and honest with you in all regards. They will tell you what you are doing wrong without worrying about hurting your feelings, and they will give you their opinion loud and clear. That's the beauty of the internet - there is no face behind the advice and they can say what they want to say.
The downside to this is you may be taking advice for a 12 year-old who writes very well for her age. Because there is no face behind the words you don't really know who is giving you the advice.
The upside to this is that you will get a wide variety of opinions and advice based on a wide variety of experiences and beliefs. This may help you make a more informed decisions than if you were basing it on one viewpoint.
Counselling
Relationship counselling is not a bad thing! It shouldn't be a last resort. It's a way to get to the bottom of your issues and save your marriage with a professional who generally knows what they are talking about. How can that be bad? The only downside to it is that it can cost a lot of money and it's not guaranteed to help your marriage.
Another problem is that you may find your spouse doesn't want to attend relationship counselling. Whether it's because of the stigma of a 'failed relationship' that it comes with or because they don't want to talk to a stranger about their problems. It can be hard to get a reluctant person to cooperate with the counselling.
Self-Help Books
Normally self-help books are written by professionals or people who have been in the situation they are writing about and have experience to back up their words. That's what makes these books so beneficial. If you can relate to what the author is saying then you may relate to the solutions that author is providing.
Another great thing about self-help books is that you don't have to talk to anyone. You don't have to hang your dirty laundry out for all to see if you don't want to. This can help you save your marriage while keeping it on the down-low.
And of course you can purchase most books online through amazon and other online sources. There are even instant downloadable self-help eBooks, videos, and other online resources that can help you now without waiting for a book to come in the mail. In fact, there are many of these available to you.
The important thing to remember when you are having marriage problems is to seek some sort of help and take action towards fixing the issues. If you don't then your problems are most likely not going to go anywhere and you will waste weeks, months, or even years being unhappy and unfulfilled in your relationship when you could be enjoying your marriage.
Kari is the owner of Manifest Connection, a website focused on [http://www.manifestconnection.com/]personal development to create a happier, healthier, and more successful life. Visit her website today and find out how [http://www.manifestconnection.com/Happiness-in-Life.html]happy in life you are, and how to become happier.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Help-For-Your-Marriage-May-Be-Just-Around-The-Corner&id=6654592] Help For Your Marriage May Be Just Around The Corner
When your marriage is in trouble and has come to a standstill then you need to go out and get help. You obviously can not fix the situation on your own, or it would be fixed, and fixing the issues is the only way to get on the road to having a healthy and happy marriage.
So where can you turn to for help with your marriage? Just about everywhere! All you have to do is to be open to the advice you receive and apply what you resonate with to your marriage.
Here are some places to look for help for your marriage:
Friends
Sometimes we don't want to admit to our friends that we are having issues, but if you want to fix your marriage then it may be necessary.
Not just any friends will do here! You are looking for friends that have gone through tough times similar to you and have made it through with flying colors. These are the people who have been there and have some answers that worked for them, which may work for you as well.
Of course the downside is your friends will know what's going on and constantly want to know if you are doing better. This can get annoying and intrusive after a while. And some friends will judge you for where you are and it can cause a rift in the friendship. It's best to only consult with a trusted friend.
Relationship Forums
If you are too scared to talk to people you know then you may want to talk to a bunch of strangers. Why would you do that? Because they are going to be open and honest with you in all regards. They will tell you what you are doing wrong without worrying about hurting your feelings, and they will give you their opinion loud and clear. That's the beauty of the internet - there is no face behind the advice and they can say what they want to say.
The downside to this is you may be taking advice for a 12 year-old who writes very well for her age. Because there is no face behind the words you don't really know who is giving you the advice.
The upside to this is that you will get a wide variety of opinions and advice based on a wide variety of experiences and beliefs. This may help you make a more informed decisions than if you were basing it on one viewpoint.
Counselling
Relationship counselling is not a bad thing! It shouldn't be a last resort. It's a way to get to the bottom of your issues and save your marriage with a professional who generally knows what they are talking about. How can that be bad? The only downside to it is that it can cost a lot of money and it's not guaranteed to help your marriage.
Another problem is that you may find your spouse doesn't want to attend relationship counselling. Whether it's because of the stigma of a 'failed relationship' that it comes with or because they don't want to talk to a stranger about their problems. It can be hard to get a reluctant person to cooperate with the counselling.
Self-Help Books
Normally self-help books are written by professionals or people who have been in the situation they are writing about and have experience to back up their words. That's what makes these books so beneficial. If you can relate to what the author is saying then you may relate to the solutions that author is providing.
Another great thing about self-help books is that you don't have to talk to anyone. You don't have to hang your dirty laundry out for all to see if you don't want to. This can help you save your marriage while keeping it on the down-low.
And of course you can purchase most books online through amazon and other online sources. There are even instant downloadable self-help eBooks, videos, and other online resources that can help you now without waiting for a book to come in the mail. In fact, there are many of these available to you.
The important thing to remember when you are having marriage problems is to seek some sort of help and take action towards fixing the issues. If you don't then your problems are most likely not going to go anywhere and you will waste weeks, months, or even years being unhappy and unfulfilled in your relationship when you could be enjoying your marriage.
Kari is the owner of Manifest Connection, a website focused on [http://www.manifestconnection.com/]personal development to create a happier, healthier, and more successful life. Visit her website today and find out how [http://www.manifestconnection.com/Happiness-in-Life.html]happy in life you are, and how to become happier.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Help-For-Your-Marriage-May-Be-Just-Around-The-Corner&id=6654592] Help For Your Marriage May Be Just Around The Corner
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
My Husband Is Saying He Needs Time To Think - What Does This Really Mean?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane]Leslie Cane
I often hear from wives whose husbands have been asking for "time to think." Sometimes, the husband is content to continue to live in the same home while the wife backs off a little bit and gives him some time on his own. But other times, the husband feels that he either needs to leave for a couple of days or separate and live apart while he is taking his thinking time.
I heard from a wife who said: "about three weeks ago, my husband came home and told me that he was moving out for a little while because he 'needs time to think.' I asked him why he couldn't think at our home. I told him that I would leave him alone and give him his space. Apparently, my offer wasn't good enough because he still says that he needs to move out. I don't even know what he is trying to accomplish. I wonder if this separation is just a precursor to him filing for divorce. My mom says he might just need some time to clear his head so he can come back home focused and ready to move on toward saving our marriage, but I don't buy it. What does it mean when a husband asks for time to think? Does it mean he wants a divorce or he is never coming back? Because if that's the case, I'm not letting him out the door."
Sometimes a husbands wanting time to think is a request for just that. He only wants time on his own to evaluate some things and he doesn't find this possible when you are together. Other times, a request for time may encompass something else entirely. I will discuss this more in the following article.
Sometimes A Request For Time To Think Doesn't Have Any Hidden Meaning: Occasionally, a man is being completely honest with you when he asks for a short amount of time away to think. Some men take off on their own and others meet up with good friends to blow off some steam. This often happens at a time in their life where they are at a cross roads and are evaluating how they want to live their life from today forward. Sometimes, things other than your marriage brought this on. Maybe things have become challenging at work. Maybe they are dealing with a personal crisis.
Or, perhaps, your marriage has been struggling. No matter what has happened though, he's often asking you for some time to evaluate his life. This doesn't have to be a negative thing for you. Sometimes, once he's alone and has some perspective, he realizes that you are not the problem. In fact, sometimes he realizes that you are what is right with his life and that you are the one who makes his other problems bearable. Of course, not every husband comes to this conclusion. Some report back that they either need more time or they want to separate or divorce, which leads me to my next point.
When A Husband's Asking For Time Away Means That He Might Want A Permanent Change In Plans: As you might suspect, some men will tell you that they only want time to think, when they know full well that they have no intentions of coming back any time soon. They are wondering if they want to remain married and sometimes, they are trying to get a taste of freedom to determine if perhaps that want the separation to be a more permanent solution.
Wives often wonder why these husbands aren't honest and won't just admit that they what they are asking for isn't really a little time, they are asking to live separate lives for a while because they are seriously thinking about taking a break, splitting up, or asking for a separation or divorce. The reasons that they aren't honest differ depending on the man, but most often, they know that you are going to try to talk them out of it and they want the time to think without you trying to influence or change their decision.
How To Handle It When Your Husband Asks For Time To Think: The wife in this situation was considering challenging her husband's request. She suspected that he wasn't being completely honest and she was scared to let him leave because she feared that he would never come back.
These are valid and real concerns. That's why I always advocate trying to convince him to take his time away without leaving your home. Now, when you approach him about this, you must remain positive and make this sound like an attractive compromise. He mustn't think that you are trying to deny him what he wants or that you are trying to control his wishes.
If you think he might resist, offer to stay with friends so that he can see that you sincere in giving him his time. Be upbeat and positive. Don't overreact and act as if you know that your marriage might be in real trouble or over because this just validates his suspicions. Set it up so that he will think of you favorably (and then miss you) while he is taking his thinking time. Because if you can successfully do this, you drastically increase your chances that once you return home, he will be ready to work with you on saving your marriage since his time to think has inspired him to realize that you are not the real problem in his life and that he wants to save and improve what his right - which is his marriage with you.
Unfortunately for me, I didn't know how to handle my husband's request for time to think and eventually this lead to our separation. I was able to [http://isavedmymarriage.com]save our marriage, but not without a lot of wasted time and torment. If it helps, you can read about how I finally got it together on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?My-Husband-Is-Saying-He-Needs-Time-To-Think---What-Does-This-Really-Mean?&id=6655919] My Husband Is Saying He Needs Time To Think - What Does This Really Mean?
I often hear from wives whose husbands have been asking for "time to think." Sometimes, the husband is content to continue to live in the same home while the wife backs off a little bit and gives him some time on his own. But other times, the husband feels that he either needs to leave for a couple of days or separate and live apart while he is taking his thinking time.
I heard from a wife who said: "about three weeks ago, my husband came home and told me that he was moving out for a little while because he 'needs time to think.' I asked him why he couldn't think at our home. I told him that I would leave him alone and give him his space. Apparently, my offer wasn't good enough because he still says that he needs to move out. I don't even know what he is trying to accomplish. I wonder if this separation is just a precursor to him filing for divorce. My mom says he might just need some time to clear his head so he can come back home focused and ready to move on toward saving our marriage, but I don't buy it. What does it mean when a husband asks for time to think? Does it mean he wants a divorce or he is never coming back? Because if that's the case, I'm not letting him out the door."
Sometimes a husbands wanting time to think is a request for just that. He only wants time on his own to evaluate some things and he doesn't find this possible when you are together. Other times, a request for time may encompass something else entirely. I will discuss this more in the following article.
Sometimes A Request For Time To Think Doesn't Have Any Hidden Meaning: Occasionally, a man is being completely honest with you when he asks for a short amount of time away to think. Some men take off on their own and others meet up with good friends to blow off some steam. This often happens at a time in their life where they are at a cross roads and are evaluating how they want to live their life from today forward. Sometimes, things other than your marriage brought this on. Maybe things have become challenging at work. Maybe they are dealing with a personal crisis.
Or, perhaps, your marriage has been struggling. No matter what has happened though, he's often asking you for some time to evaluate his life. This doesn't have to be a negative thing for you. Sometimes, once he's alone and has some perspective, he realizes that you are not the problem. In fact, sometimes he realizes that you are what is right with his life and that you are the one who makes his other problems bearable. Of course, not every husband comes to this conclusion. Some report back that they either need more time or they want to separate or divorce, which leads me to my next point.
When A Husband's Asking For Time Away Means That He Might Want A Permanent Change In Plans: As you might suspect, some men will tell you that they only want time to think, when they know full well that they have no intentions of coming back any time soon. They are wondering if they want to remain married and sometimes, they are trying to get a taste of freedom to determine if perhaps that want the separation to be a more permanent solution.
Wives often wonder why these husbands aren't honest and won't just admit that they what they are asking for isn't really a little time, they are asking to live separate lives for a while because they are seriously thinking about taking a break, splitting up, or asking for a separation or divorce. The reasons that they aren't honest differ depending on the man, but most often, they know that you are going to try to talk them out of it and they want the time to think without you trying to influence or change their decision.
How To Handle It When Your Husband Asks For Time To Think: The wife in this situation was considering challenging her husband's request. She suspected that he wasn't being completely honest and she was scared to let him leave because she feared that he would never come back.
These are valid and real concerns. That's why I always advocate trying to convince him to take his time away without leaving your home. Now, when you approach him about this, you must remain positive and make this sound like an attractive compromise. He mustn't think that you are trying to deny him what he wants or that you are trying to control his wishes.
If you think he might resist, offer to stay with friends so that he can see that you sincere in giving him his time. Be upbeat and positive. Don't overreact and act as if you know that your marriage might be in real trouble or over because this just validates his suspicions. Set it up so that he will think of you favorably (and then miss you) while he is taking his thinking time. Because if you can successfully do this, you drastically increase your chances that once you return home, he will be ready to work with you on saving your marriage since his time to think has inspired him to realize that you are not the real problem in his life and that he wants to save and improve what his right - which is his marriage with you.
Unfortunately for me, I didn't know how to handle my husband's request for time to think and eventually this lead to our separation. I was able to [http://isavedmymarriage.com]save our marriage, but not without a lot of wasted time and torment. If it helps, you can read about how I finally got it together on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?My-Husband-Is-Saying-He-Needs-Time-To-Think---What-Does-This-Really-Mean?&id=6655919] My Husband Is Saying He Needs Time To Think - What Does This Really Mean?
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