By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kristie_Brown]Kristie Brown
How much time do you spend every week texting with your friends? How many hours are spent in front of the TV set or computer screen? What kind of hours do you put in at work? How about volunteering, reading, working in your flower gardens, or tinkering with your vehicle? Now tell me honestly how many hours a week you spend working on your marriage? When you made your commitment to love each other forever, were you aware that it was going to take work to maintain the close bonds you were then feeling? Too many couples relegate the importance of building their marriages to the bottom of their priority lists, when it should be at the top. If this sounds like your marriage, and the word "divorce" has even been tossed around, it's time to stop and take the steps necessary to put your marriage back on solid ground.
No one ever said that being married was easy. In fact, it can be hard work at times unless you both avidly try to keep it fresh and the ties close. Like all the best things in life, you have to proactively work at overcoming marital obstacles and keeping each other first in your hearts. In the beginning this can sound easy, but as time goes on, and there are more and more demands on your time, you can grow apart. Arguments are bound to crop up between two people living together, and you need to learn how to handle them. Work on such tactics as compromise or taking time out to cool off before resuming your discussion.
In addition, you need to try and keep the D word out of your arguments. It's easy to threaten your spouse with divorce, but it's a word you don't even want to contemplate, especially since you're using it as a weapon and don't really plan to act on it. Just talking about divorce can put your relationship on shaky ground. Over time it tends to become ingrained in your minds and a natural solution to all of your problems. Take the time and energy that it takes to argue and to threaten divorce and use it instead of rediscover the reasons that you and your spouse got together in the first place.
Making a point to spend private time together each week will definitely help you remain close and build on your relationship. It can range from having a date night where you spend time doing the things that you enjoy, a dinner out at a fancy restaurant, or a weekend getaway, but whatever you can do in order to find time alone together will work wonders. Get a sitter and don't worry about the kids. Devote your thoughts and actions towards kindling the romance and intimacy and keeping them burning.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com]Stop divorce or here: [http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com]Save My Marriage.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Steps-to-Take-to-Keep-the-D-Word-Out-of-Your-Marriage&id=6644966] Steps to Take to Keep the D Word Out of Your Marriage
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
My Husband Left Me: How to Move on With Your Life
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Desiree_B_North]Desiree B North
Are you feeling down because your husband left you? Do you think you will never find love again? Are you uncertain about being able to solve your loneliness and get back to your old happy self?
Wives who have experienced being left by their husband will experience feelings of loneliness and depression. As with all relationship break-downs, this is a normal reaction. You need to make a real effort to get your happiness back. Feeling down about the break-up for an extended period of time can have severe ramifications. So if you want to participate in life again, you should stop feeling sorry for yourself and saying "my husband left me" all the time. Instead of going on about "why my husband left me", it would be preferable if you thought about how to achieve happiness in your life again. Here are some suggestions for bringing happiness into your life once more.
1. Venture outdoors. If you have taken to your bed for the last few weeks, upset about what happened, you should get up and head outside. See that the world has continued. Stop with the "my husband left me" sad feelings. You have to look after yourself now and begin experiencing life anew.
2. See your buddies. Friends are a huge help in relieving your loneliness. You can cry in front of them and tell them your troubles and allow your "my husband left me" issues to flow out of you. The great thing about buddies is that they can assist you throughout the whole process. They can provide you with good advice if you require it. They can comfort you with their friendship.
3. Take a holiday. The moment has come to end your "my husband left me" issues by taking a holiday by yourself or with buddies. A different location can heal and refresh you. Taking a holiday can assist you in thinking things through. It can help cheer you up, which is what you Keep a diary. Writing a diary of your thoughts and emotions can be healing. There are girls who find it hard to reveal their emotions so writing a diary can be a good way to do this. Writing down your feelings is a good way to ease the hurt. A diary is a great way to work through your "my husband left me" issues.
4. Take up a new hobby. To distract you from dwelling on the "my husband left me" issues you have, you must keep busy. Find a hobby you enjoy and invest time in it. By this means, you will have something to take up your time, instead of dwelling on your relationship issues.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Fall in Love with you.
Desiree North is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?My-Husband-Left-Me:-How-to-Move-on-With-Your-Life&id=6642778] My Husband Left Me: How to Move on With Your Life
Are you feeling down because your husband left you? Do you think you will never find love again? Are you uncertain about being able to solve your loneliness and get back to your old happy self?
Wives who have experienced being left by their husband will experience feelings of loneliness and depression. As with all relationship break-downs, this is a normal reaction. You need to make a real effort to get your happiness back. Feeling down about the break-up for an extended period of time can have severe ramifications. So if you want to participate in life again, you should stop feeling sorry for yourself and saying "my husband left me" all the time. Instead of going on about "why my husband left me", it would be preferable if you thought about how to achieve happiness in your life again. Here are some suggestions for bringing happiness into your life once more.
1. Venture outdoors. If you have taken to your bed for the last few weeks, upset about what happened, you should get up and head outside. See that the world has continued. Stop with the "my husband left me" sad feelings. You have to look after yourself now and begin experiencing life anew.
2. See your buddies. Friends are a huge help in relieving your loneliness. You can cry in front of them and tell them your troubles and allow your "my husband left me" issues to flow out of you. The great thing about buddies is that they can assist you throughout the whole process. They can provide you with good advice if you require it. They can comfort you with their friendship.
3. Take a holiday. The moment has come to end your "my husband left me" issues by taking a holiday by yourself or with buddies. A different location can heal and refresh you. Taking a holiday can assist you in thinking things through. It can help cheer you up, which is what you Keep a diary. Writing a diary of your thoughts and emotions can be healing. There are girls who find it hard to reveal their emotions so writing a diary can be a good way to do this. Writing down your feelings is a good way to ease the hurt. A diary is a great way to work through your "my husband left me" issues.
4. Take up a new hobby. To distract you from dwelling on the "my husband left me" issues you have, you must keep busy. Find a hobby you enjoy and invest time in it. By this means, you will have something to take up your time, instead of dwelling on your relationship issues.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Fall in Love with you.
Desiree North is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?My-Husband-Left-Me:-How-to-Move-on-With-Your-Life&id=6642778] My Husband Left Me: How to Move on With Your Life
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Distance Can Contribute To A Satisfying Marriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kalyan_Kumar]Kalyan Kumar
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Many couples, whether married or not, agree to this. For them, it is when they are able to spend some time away from each other that the fondness for their partner grows. And so when they are back in each other's arms, the flame of love is hotter than ever.
The latest buzz is that distance can actually help in achieving a happy and even lasting marriage. According to the author of a new book entitled "The Secret Lives of Wives," it is true that distancing yourself from your spouse for some time can help you grow individually. Iris Krasnow, an assistant professor at the American University's School of Communication, said she practices this herself and has found that it has helped keep her marriage strong through the years.
The author also found this as a common denominator among the long-term relationships enjoyed by more than 200 women whom she interviewed for her new book. A little distance, she confirmed, is one of the secrets to a lasting marital bond.
What this means is spending time either by yourself or with some girl friends to enjoy the things you love to do. You can engage in a new hobby or explore a new place that interests you. Keep in mind that as a wife, you also deserve your share of happiness even it means being away from your spouse and kids for just a short period of time.
Krasnow points out that wives should not always think that their husband is their only source of joy. If you rely so much on your hubby to keep you happy, then you're missing out a lot on the good things in life. Happiness, the author said, should come from within yourself and when a wife is able to discover her true source of joy by doing what she loves, she will eventually develop a positive disposition in life and will take efforts to strengthen her marriage.
Krasnow clarifies, however, that spending time away from your spouse doesn't necessarily mean leading separate lives. This short vacation without the hubby is an opportunity to get in touch with good old friends and enjoy adventures you've always wanted to do but never had the chance because of your family responsibilities. It can be a week or two but just make it sure you're not away for more than a month.
Being away from your husband can be a great opportunity to recharge and do things on your own. It's nice to miss someone you love once in a while and according to Krasnow's words, this feeling of missing a loved one is actually a great aphrodisiac.
Another study has found that keeping the distance in your marriage helps couples in being self reliant. The research findings published in the journal Family Relations revealed that wives whose husbands were away from home for weeks because of their nature of work were able to carry on not just their responsibilities as wives and mothers but even the roles of their husbands.
For helpful tips and information on marriage and family, visit [http://themarriagecounselingblog.com]TheMarriageCounselingBlog.com.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Distance-Can-Contribute-To-A-Satisfying-Marriage&id=6645751] Distance Can Contribute To A Satisfying Marriage
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Many couples, whether married or not, agree to this. For them, it is when they are able to spend some time away from each other that the fondness for their partner grows. And so when they are back in each other's arms, the flame of love is hotter than ever.
The latest buzz is that distance can actually help in achieving a happy and even lasting marriage. According to the author of a new book entitled "The Secret Lives of Wives," it is true that distancing yourself from your spouse for some time can help you grow individually. Iris Krasnow, an assistant professor at the American University's School of Communication, said she practices this herself and has found that it has helped keep her marriage strong through the years.
The author also found this as a common denominator among the long-term relationships enjoyed by more than 200 women whom she interviewed for her new book. A little distance, she confirmed, is one of the secrets to a lasting marital bond.
What this means is spending time either by yourself or with some girl friends to enjoy the things you love to do. You can engage in a new hobby or explore a new place that interests you. Keep in mind that as a wife, you also deserve your share of happiness even it means being away from your spouse and kids for just a short period of time.
Krasnow points out that wives should not always think that their husband is their only source of joy. If you rely so much on your hubby to keep you happy, then you're missing out a lot on the good things in life. Happiness, the author said, should come from within yourself and when a wife is able to discover her true source of joy by doing what she loves, she will eventually develop a positive disposition in life and will take efforts to strengthen her marriage.
Krasnow clarifies, however, that spending time away from your spouse doesn't necessarily mean leading separate lives. This short vacation without the hubby is an opportunity to get in touch with good old friends and enjoy adventures you've always wanted to do but never had the chance because of your family responsibilities. It can be a week or two but just make it sure you're not away for more than a month.
Being away from your husband can be a great opportunity to recharge and do things on your own. It's nice to miss someone you love once in a while and according to Krasnow's words, this feeling of missing a loved one is actually a great aphrodisiac.
Another study has found that keeping the distance in your marriage helps couples in being self reliant. The research findings published in the journal Family Relations revealed that wives whose husbands were away from home for weeks because of their nature of work were able to carry on not just their responsibilities as wives and mothers but even the roles of their husbands.
For helpful tips and information on marriage and family, visit [http://themarriagecounselingblog.com]TheMarriageCounselingBlog.com.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Distance-Can-Contribute-To-A-Satisfying-Marriage&id=6645751] Distance Can Contribute To A Satisfying Marriage
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Fight Without Fighting! Save Your Marriage and Stop Divorce
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kristie_Brown]Kristie Brown
Are you just going to lie down and let your spouse divorce you? Although there's no 100% certain road back to marital bliss, there are plenty of ways you can fight back to avoid the divorce you never wanted in the first place. You have to commit to the long-term and stay strong while telling yourself that divorce just isn't an option. Lots of times it can feel easier just to sign the papers and dissolve the relationship, but you know that isn't what you want or what is going to make you happy. If your marriage is worth fighting for, then that's just what you should do.
The funny thing about fighting to save a marriage is that you're going to have to completely give up fighting in order to do so. You've probably gone through enough arguments with your significant other to realize that arguing is pointless and only makes things worse. Instead, try to focus on the things that attracted you to your spouse in the beginning, and work at commending him or her for those things rather than tearing them down over perceived faults. This scenario is definitely going to be difficult to pull off, especially in the beginning, but it should get easier. You don't need to go overboard in praising your spouse for mundane, everyday occurrences, but make sure that you say something positive when your partner does something particularly nice.
It's a rare person who doesn't respond favorably to praise and a positive environment. After you've worked on not arguing for awhile, you may well come to realize that you were the one initiating a lot of it in the first place. Get used to the feeling of everything being peaceful and calm, and enjoy getting along. Your spouse is going to start loving the new serenity, too, and you'll find yourselves enjoying being home together more and more. Once this happens, and it will take awhile, you may find other areas of your relationship are getting better, too, and the word "divorce" may cease to be tossed around between you.
Although it doesn't sound so hard to think about looking for the good in your spouse rather than the bad, it can be a challenge, so be prepared to dig in your heels. The problem is that you've both gotten into the more negative routine and will need time to re-establish the bonds you once had. Even if it doesn't all work out in the end, you can feel proud that you gave it your all instead of being left feeling like a failure.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com]Stop divorce or here: [http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com]Save My Marriage.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Fight-Without-Fighting!-Save-Your-Marriage-and-Stop-Divorce&id=6642006] Fight Without Fighting! Save Your Marriage and Stop Divorce
Are you just going to lie down and let your spouse divorce you? Although there's no 100% certain road back to marital bliss, there are plenty of ways you can fight back to avoid the divorce you never wanted in the first place. You have to commit to the long-term and stay strong while telling yourself that divorce just isn't an option. Lots of times it can feel easier just to sign the papers and dissolve the relationship, but you know that isn't what you want or what is going to make you happy. If your marriage is worth fighting for, then that's just what you should do.
The funny thing about fighting to save a marriage is that you're going to have to completely give up fighting in order to do so. You've probably gone through enough arguments with your significant other to realize that arguing is pointless and only makes things worse. Instead, try to focus on the things that attracted you to your spouse in the beginning, and work at commending him or her for those things rather than tearing them down over perceived faults. This scenario is definitely going to be difficult to pull off, especially in the beginning, but it should get easier. You don't need to go overboard in praising your spouse for mundane, everyday occurrences, but make sure that you say something positive when your partner does something particularly nice.
It's a rare person who doesn't respond favorably to praise and a positive environment. After you've worked on not arguing for awhile, you may well come to realize that you were the one initiating a lot of it in the first place. Get used to the feeling of everything being peaceful and calm, and enjoy getting along. Your spouse is going to start loving the new serenity, too, and you'll find yourselves enjoying being home together more and more. Once this happens, and it will take awhile, you may find other areas of your relationship are getting better, too, and the word "divorce" may cease to be tossed around between you.
Although it doesn't sound so hard to think about looking for the good in your spouse rather than the bad, it can be a challenge, so be prepared to dig in your heels. The problem is that you've both gotten into the more negative routine and will need time to re-establish the bonds you once had. Even if it doesn't all work out in the end, you can feel proud that you gave it your all instead of being left feeling like a failure.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com]Stop divorce or here: [http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com]Save My Marriage.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Fight-Without-Fighting!-Save-Your-Marriage-and-Stop-Divorce&id=6642006] Fight Without Fighting! Save Your Marriage and Stop Divorce
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Best Way to Avoid Divorce Is by Rebuilding Your Marriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=David_G_Read]David G Read
You cannot expect everything to be perfect in relationships since nobody in this world is perfect. The fact is that you and your spouse will face travails and you have to deal with them successfully. You also need to learn from your mistakes and avoid doing things that will hurt your spouse. It is important to learn how you can save your marriage before small problems can cause the damaging effects that can lead to the dissolution of your union.
It is important to build a good foundation from the beginning. You should accept facts about your partner and love him or her unconditionally. You also need to bend accordingly to changes and to accommodate all that you have found out in the process of living together. If you have a good foundation, it will be handy when you face problems in your marriage. Sometimes, you will have to begin from scratch to save your marriage.
When faced with obstacles in your marriage, there are a number of things that you can do. One of them is talking things out with your partner. Make sure that you tell him or her how you feel and how much you are hurting. Processing such a feeling on your own is not healthy. If you say how you feel and how your thoughts are about the issues you have in your marriage, you should not speak to anyone else but your partner.
As you make your feelings known, you also need to listen. This involves opening your heart and mind to possibilities and other things that you may have not believed from the beginning. Listen to your partner as he or she gives his or her feelings and make sure that you understand them. Even though you may find it hard to forgive in relationships, it is essential for you to perfect such an act.
This involves forgiving your partner for any hurtful thing that he or she has done to you. You should forgive even if your mind gives you a hundred and one reasons not to do so. This is a great way to resolve your problems and be able to view things in another perspective. The other thing that you should do to rebuild your marriage is to find out why your spouse wants to leave you. The main reason for this could be the feeling that you are not meeting his or her needs even though you may be thinking that you are the perfect husband or wife.
Note that it is possible to save your marriage even if your spouse is not interested as much as you are in saving your union. One thing you can do is to get over your resentment and anger. You can then be able to work hard at becoming a person of value to your spouse. Your spouse will consider you to be valuable if he or she feels that you are meeting his or her needs.
For instance, as a wife, you should labor to become a great mother, keep the house spotless, cook delicious meals and treat your husband well. Another thing is to find out what he really wants. For example, you should not turn down his request to join him in the races if he wants to have fun in your company. This will prevent him from swapping you with a woman who is fun to be around with.
In order to prevent divorce or separation, you should avoid the distance that exists between the two of you by becoming emotionally valuable. This involves knowing what your spouse thinks and what he finds important. You also need to show your spouse that you cannot put up with disrespect and bad treatment.
Another thing is that you should not put up with bad behavior so that your spouse will believe that you are just as valuable as your competition for him. And I would like to tell you more at http://savemymarriagetonight.com/
Talk to you soon.
Dave
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Best-Way-to-Avoid-Divorce-Is-by-Rebuilding-Your-Marriage&id=6637135] The Best Way to Avoid Divorce Is by Rebuilding Your Marriage
You cannot expect everything to be perfect in relationships since nobody in this world is perfect. The fact is that you and your spouse will face travails and you have to deal with them successfully. You also need to learn from your mistakes and avoid doing things that will hurt your spouse. It is important to learn how you can save your marriage before small problems can cause the damaging effects that can lead to the dissolution of your union.
It is important to build a good foundation from the beginning. You should accept facts about your partner and love him or her unconditionally. You also need to bend accordingly to changes and to accommodate all that you have found out in the process of living together. If you have a good foundation, it will be handy when you face problems in your marriage. Sometimes, you will have to begin from scratch to save your marriage.
When faced with obstacles in your marriage, there are a number of things that you can do. One of them is talking things out with your partner. Make sure that you tell him or her how you feel and how much you are hurting. Processing such a feeling on your own is not healthy. If you say how you feel and how your thoughts are about the issues you have in your marriage, you should not speak to anyone else but your partner.
As you make your feelings known, you also need to listen. This involves opening your heart and mind to possibilities and other things that you may have not believed from the beginning. Listen to your partner as he or she gives his or her feelings and make sure that you understand them. Even though you may find it hard to forgive in relationships, it is essential for you to perfect such an act.
This involves forgiving your partner for any hurtful thing that he or she has done to you. You should forgive even if your mind gives you a hundred and one reasons not to do so. This is a great way to resolve your problems and be able to view things in another perspective. The other thing that you should do to rebuild your marriage is to find out why your spouse wants to leave you. The main reason for this could be the feeling that you are not meeting his or her needs even though you may be thinking that you are the perfect husband or wife.
Note that it is possible to save your marriage even if your spouse is not interested as much as you are in saving your union. One thing you can do is to get over your resentment and anger. You can then be able to work hard at becoming a person of value to your spouse. Your spouse will consider you to be valuable if he or she feels that you are meeting his or her needs.
For instance, as a wife, you should labor to become a great mother, keep the house spotless, cook delicious meals and treat your husband well. Another thing is to find out what he really wants. For example, you should not turn down his request to join him in the races if he wants to have fun in your company. This will prevent him from swapping you with a woman who is fun to be around with.
In order to prevent divorce or separation, you should avoid the distance that exists between the two of you by becoming emotionally valuable. This involves knowing what your spouse thinks and what he finds important. You also need to show your spouse that you cannot put up with disrespect and bad treatment.
Another thing is that you should not put up with bad behavior so that your spouse will believe that you are just as valuable as your competition for him. And I would like to tell you more at http://savemymarriagetonight.com/
Talk to you soon.
Dave
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Best-Way-to-Avoid-Divorce-Is-by-Rebuilding-Your-Marriage&id=6637135] The Best Way to Avoid Divorce Is by Rebuilding Your Marriage
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Sexless Marriage - How to Reignite the Passion in Your Relationship
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Evangeline_K_Harris]Evangeline K Harris
When you first got together, you made love at every opportunity, right? Now, a decade into your marriage, intimacy had dropped off to very low levels. A sexless marriage is more common that you think - often the husband's sex drive decreases over time.
Affairs and divorce often occur due to the lack of physical intimacy in a marriage. However, what many women don't realize is that husbands don't all at once lose their sexual appetite. They do not wake up one morning to realize the passion has disappeared and that you have become undesirable. Sexless marriage happens over time. There are some things you can do to reignite the passion and excitement your marriage had in the beginning.
Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy work together.
Guys may appear to be strong yet they also have a soft side that yearns to be understood. Generally, if the communication between a couple declines then physical intimacy is the next area to decline. If you have disagreements you have not talked through, be brave to do something about resolving this. What's the key to preventing a sexless marriage? It's understanding that they can always discuss everything with their partner freely.
Avoid dull romance.
It is not good to fall into a romance routine as this will lead your husband to become bored and to search elsewhere for excitement. Once in a while, give your husband a surprise by doing something new. If he sees you in your pyjamas very night, surprise him by wearing a sexy nightie. Sometimes it's just a simple change that can reignite the passion and avoid monotony.
Compliment him.
Guys put a high value on their egos. Sexless marriage develops when the partners lose appreciation for one another. Try to remind your husband every now and then how attractive he is. You won't have to worry about your husband being unfaithful if your husband is aware that you still find him desirable.
Look after your appearance.
Taking care with your appearance doesn't mean you have to spend all your money on expensive clothes or on getting beauty treatments all the time. Guys just want to witness that you are making an effort with your appearance for them. Even the basic step of wearing a ni9ce perfume tells your husband that you are making an effort for him.
If you put these pointers into play, then you can forget about having a sexless marriage. Your marriage will be reinvigorated.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Fall in Love with you.
Evangeline Harris is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Sexless-Marriage---How-to-Reignite-the-Passion-in-Your-Relationship&id=6644801] Sexless Marriage - How to Reignite the Passion in Your Relationship
When you first got together, you made love at every opportunity, right? Now, a decade into your marriage, intimacy had dropped off to very low levels. A sexless marriage is more common that you think - often the husband's sex drive decreases over time.
Affairs and divorce often occur due to the lack of physical intimacy in a marriage. However, what many women don't realize is that husbands don't all at once lose their sexual appetite. They do not wake up one morning to realize the passion has disappeared and that you have become undesirable. Sexless marriage happens over time. There are some things you can do to reignite the passion and excitement your marriage had in the beginning.
Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy work together.
Guys may appear to be strong yet they also have a soft side that yearns to be understood. Generally, if the communication between a couple declines then physical intimacy is the next area to decline. If you have disagreements you have not talked through, be brave to do something about resolving this. What's the key to preventing a sexless marriage? It's understanding that they can always discuss everything with their partner freely.
Avoid dull romance.
It is not good to fall into a romance routine as this will lead your husband to become bored and to search elsewhere for excitement. Once in a while, give your husband a surprise by doing something new. If he sees you in your pyjamas very night, surprise him by wearing a sexy nightie. Sometimes it's just a simple change that can reignite the passion and avoid monotony.
Compliment him.
Guys put a high value on their egos. Sexless marriage develops when the partners lose appreciation for one another. Try to remind your husband every now and then how attractive he is. You won't have to worry about your husband being unfaithful if your husband is aware that you still find him desirable.
Look after your appearance.
Taking care with your appearance doesn't mean you have to spend all your money on expensive clothes or on getting beauty treatments all the time. Guys just want to witness that you are making an effort with your appearance for them. Even the basic step of wearing a ni9ce perfume tells your husband that you are making an effort for him.
If you put these pointers into play, then you can forget about having a sexless marriage. Your marriage will be reinvigorated.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Fall in Love with you.
Evangeline Harris is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Sexless-Marriage---How-to-Reignite-the-Passion-in-Your-Relationship&id=6644801] Sexless Marriage - How to Reignite the Passion in Your Relationship
Monday, December 19, 2011
How to Optimize Your Profile on Indian Matrimonial Websites
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Anis_Ahmed]Anis Ahmed
You have spent your time and probably even your money to register on an Indian matrimonial website. Now, the next step to take is to start exploring the various features it offers to you and figuring out how you can optimize these features for the benefit of finding yourself a partner that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with.
Simply registering on such portals is not enough. In fact, that's the beginning. When you are making a decision as important as finding your life partner, you want to make sure that the profile that you create for yourself is a true representation of your personality and it attracts the right kind of prospective brides or grooms who are looking for the same things out of life that you are. Here is a simple list of things to take care of, to make sure you are optimizing your profile on an Indian matrimonial website:
1. Your Photos:
It is strongly recommended that the photos that you upload on these portals are current or the most recent ones that you have. This is extremely important because in most occasions, the fact of the matter is that your photo is a deciding factor. Many of us may not be too comfortable with uploading our photos on the internet, but remember that there are a million of other users who are comfortable with doing so, and they are more likely to find themselves partners before you do solely for this reason.
2. Being Honest and Relevant:
When you are out to find yourself a partner for life, it would not be right to start this holy relationship on the basis of false information. It is suggested to you put up information that is accurate and effectively represents who you really are. It should communicate your personality, attitudes, beliefs and family background as closely as it is to what you really are and must be easy to understand by the visitors. You can write the correct information and provide some interesting thoughts and elaborate your personality.
In addition to being honest, it is important that you are relevant with the information that you feed in. Stay to the point, and provide a crisp profile that is a true representative of your personality. While you need to provide sufficient information about your family etc., you do not need to venture into irrelevant history.
3. Logging on Frequently:
As mentioned before, it is not enough to just register and create a profile one needs to log into their account frequently so that you are able to respond and show your interest on other profiles that contact you. You can also spend time online browsing through profiles and getting in touch with people who you feel may make a good match for yourself.
If you follow these simple rules on an Indian matrimonial website, you are bound to find yourself a partner for life who is willing to give you love, and keep you happy for the years to come!
India's leading [http://www.humararishta.com/]Indian Matrimonial website is Humararishta dot com. This is an [http://www.humararishta.com/]Online Matrimonial site enables users to create their profile for Free and find suitable match for them from thousands of matrimonial profiles.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Optimize-Your-Profile-on-Indian-Matrimonial-Websites&id=6638207] How to Optimize Your Profile on Indian Matrimonial Websites
You have spent your time and probably even your money to register on an Indian matrimonial website. Now, the next step to take is to start exploring the various features it offers to you and figuring out how you can optimize these features for the benefit of finding yourself a partner that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with.
Simply registering on such portals is not enough. In fact, that's the beginning. When you are making a decision as important as finding your life partner, you want to make sure that the profile that you create for yourself is a true representation of your personality and it attracts the right kind of prospective brides or grooms who are looking for the same things out of life that you are. Here is a simple list of things to take care of, to make sure you are optimizing your profile on an Indian matrimonial website:
1. Your Photos:
It is strongly recommended that the photos that you upload on these portals are current or the most recent ones that you have. This is extremely important because in most occasions, the fact of the matter is that your photo is a deciding factor. Many of us may not be too comfortable with uploading our photos on the internet, but remember that there are a million of other users who are comfortable with doing so, and they are more likely to find themselves partners before you do solely for this reason.
2. Being Honest and Relevant:
When you are out to find yourself a partner for life, it would not be right to start this holy relationship on the basis of false information. It is suggested to you put up information that is accurate and effectively represents who you really are. It should communicate your personality, attitudes, beliefs and family background as closely as it is to what you really are and must be easy to understand by the visitors. You can write the correct information and provide some interesting thoughts and elaborate your personality.
In addition to being honest, it is important that you are relevant with the information that you feed in. Stay to the point, and provide a crisp profile that is a true representative of your personality. While you need to provide sufficient information about your family etc., you do not need to venture into irrelevant history.
3. Logging on Frequently:
As mentioned before, it is not enough to just register and create a profile one needs to log into their account frequently so that you are able to respond and show your interest on other profiles that contact you. You can also spend time online browsing through profiles and getting in touch with people who you feel may make a good match for yourself.
If you follow these simple rules on an Indian matrimonial website, you are bound to find yourself a partner for life who is willing to give you love, and keep you happy for the years to come!
India's leading [http://www.humararishta.com/]Indian Matrimonial website is Humararishta dot com. This is an [http://www.humararishta.com/]Online Matrimonial site enables users to create their profile for Free and find suitable match for them from thousands of matrimonial profiles.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Optimize-Your-Profile-on-Indian-Matrimonial-Websites&id=6638207] How to Optimize Your Profile on Indian Matrimonial Websites
How to Optimize Your Profile on Indian Matrimonial Websites
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Anis_Ahmed]Anis Ahmed
You have spent your time and probably even your money to register on an Indian matrimonial website. Now, the next step to take is to start exploring the various features it offers to you and figuring out how you can optimize these features for the benefit of finding yourself a partner that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with.
Simply registering on such portals is not enough. In fact, that's the beginning. When you are making a decision as important as finding your life partner, you want to make sure that the profile that you create for yourself is a true representation of your personality and it attracts the right kind of prospective brides or grooms who are looking for the same things out of life that you are. Here is a simple list of things to take care of, to make sure you are optimizing your profile on an Indian matrimonial website:
1. Your Photos:
It is strongly recommended that the photos that you upload on these portals are current or the most recent ones that you have. This is extremely important because in most occasions, the fact of the matter is that your photo is a deciding factor. Many of us may not be too comfortable with uploading our photos on the internet, but remember that there are a million of other users who are comfortable with doing so, and they are more likely to find themselves partners before you do solely for this reason.
2. Being Honest and Relevant:
When you are out to find yourself a partner for life, it would not be right to start this holy relationship on the basis of false information. It is suggested to you put up information that is accurate and effectively represents who you really are. It should communicate your personality, attitudes, beliefs and family background as closely as it is to what you really are and must be easy to understand by the visitors. You can write the correct information and provide some interesting thoughts and elaborate your personality.
In addition to being honest, it is important that you are relevant with the information that you feed in. Stay to the point, and provide a crisp profile that is a true representative of your personality. While you need to provide sufficient information about your family etc., you do not need to venture into irrelevant history.
3. Logging on Frequently:
As mentioned before, it is not enough to just register and create a profile one needs to log into their account frequently so that you are able to respond and show your interest on other profiles that contact you. You can also spend time online browsing through profiles and getting in touch with people who you feel may make a good match for yourself.
If you follow these simple rules on an Indian matrimonial website, you are bound to find yourself a partner for life who is willing to give you love, and keep you happy for the years to come!
India's leading [http://www.humararishta.com/]Indian Matrimonial website is Humararishta dot com. This is an [http://www.humararishta.com/]Online Matrimonial site enables users to create their profile for Free and find suitable match for them from thousands of matrimonial profiles.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Optimize-Your-Profile-on-Indian-Matrimonial-Websites&id=6638207] How to Optimize Your Profile on Indian Matrimonial Websites
You have spent your time and probably even your money to register on an Indian matrimonial website. Now, the next step to take is to start exploring the various features it offers to you and figuring out how you can optimize these features for the benefit of finding yourself a partner that you are willing to spend the rest of your life with.
Simply registering on such portals is not enough. In fact, that's the beginning. When you are making a decision as important as finding your life partner, you want to make sure that the profile that you create for yourself is a true representation of your personality and it attracts the right kind of prospective brides or grooms who are looking for the same things out of life that you are. Here is a simple list of things to take care of, to make sure you are optimizing your profile on an Indian matrimonial website:
1. Your Photos:
It is strongly recommended that the photos that you upload on these portals are current or the most recent ones that you have. This is extremely important because in most occasions, the fact of the matter is that your photo is a deciding factor. Many of us may not be too comfortable with uploading our photos on the internet, but remember that there are a million of other users who are comfortable with doing so, and they are more likely to find themselves partners before you do solely for this reason.
2. Being Honest and Relevant:
When you are out to find yourself a partner for life, it would not be right to start this holy relationship on the basis of false information. It is suggested to you put up information that is accurate and effectively represents who you really are. It should communicate your personality, attitudes, beliefs and family background as closely as it is to what you really are and must be easy to understand by the visitors. You can write the correct information and provide some interesting thoughts and elaborate your personality.
In addition to being honest, it is important that you are relevant with the information that you feed in. Stay to the point, and provide a crisp profile that is a true representative of your personality. While you need to provide sufficient information about your family etc., you do not need to venture into irrelevant history.
3. Logging on Frequently:
As mentioned before, it is not enough to just register and create a profile one needs to log into their account frequently so that you are able to respond and show your interest on other profiles that contact you. You can also spend time online browsing through profiles and getting in touch with people who you feel may make a good match for yourself.
If you follow these simple rules on an Indian matrimonial website, you are bound to find yourself a partner for life who is willing to give you love, and keep you happy for the years to come!
India's leading [http://www.humararishta.com/]Indian Matrimonial website is Humararishta dot com. This is an [http://www.humararishta.com/]Online Matrimonial site enables users to create their profile for Free and find suitable match for them from thousands of matrimonial profiles.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Optimize-Your-Profile-on-Indian-Matrimonial-Websites&id=6638207] How to Optimize Your Profile on Indian Matrimonial Websites
Saturday, December 17, 2011
The Pros And Cons Of Living Together During A Trial Separation
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane]Leslie Cane
I sometimes hear from people who are getting ready to begin a martial or trial separation. Many times, the separation wasn't their idea and, deep down, they are opposed to it. They are hoping to get the separation over with as soon as possible so that they can get on with the business of saving their marriage.
Because of our very poor economy, many couples decide not to live apart while they are separated. Many decide to wait until they have decided whether or not they are going to divorce before making any decision regarding who is moving out and when. And while many of the couples don't have much of a choice about still living together during the marital or trial separation, they worry if it is the right or best thing to do.
I heard from a wife who said: "for the past several months, my husband has been telling me that he is unhappy with our marriage and he wants to explore a separation. I didn't want the separation, but what was I supposed to do? We can't afford for him to get an apartment while he is trying to sort out his feelings. So he wants to continue to live together while we are separated. When I told my mother about this, she said that it was a crazy idea. She said that he will have no incentive to end the separation if we are still living together. He won't be able to miss me or long for me or see what is he missing while he choosing to live alone. She offered to let me stay with her during the separation. Is she right? Is it OK to continue to live with your spouse when you are separated? Is it a good idea? The idea of living with my mother doesn't appeal to me in the least."
Consider The Pros Of Cons Of Living Together During The Separation: There isn't one definitive answer to this wife's questions. But there are some pros and cons of continuing to live together during your separation.
On the plus side, when you continue to live together, you don't have to worry about luring your husband back home. You may not realize what a great advantage this is, but many wives have a very difficult time getting their husband back home once he has left. You are potentially able to avoid this obstacle if he remains in your home.
Another plus is that you have more access to your husband. You will have an easier time communicating and reconnecting with him than you would if he was living somewhere else. Also, psychologically speaking, many people tell me that the separation does not feel as final or as extreme when the couple are still living together.
Finally, you can't ignore the monetary aspect of this. Supporting a whole additional household when you aren't sure if you're staying together or not can be quite expensive. You could spend that money on counseling, going somewhere fun together to reconnect, or on many other things.
With all of these things said, there can be some cons to living together while separated. The first is that this wife's mother had a valid point. Being apart can encourage people to miss one another and to no longer take one another for granted. When something is scarce, it is just human nature to want it more. This can work to your advantage when you're separated and trying to save your marriage.
Another con to consider is that it can be very difficult to give your spouse the "space" that is often requested during a separation when you are still living with them. People often contact me because they are very frustrated that their spouse is not respecting their need for space. I can understand both points of view. Because unless you are going to split the house right down the middle, this situation can be difficult to navigate.
Finally, I find that people who have an in house separation are less likely to seek help or resources which might aid them in saving their marriage because the situation doesn't seem as immediate to them as it might if they were living apart from their spouse. It's risky to forgo the help that might actually be the difference in saving your marriage.
Tips For Making Your Separation More Successful If One Of You Isn't Moving Out: So now that you've read through the pros and cons, you may be asking yourself what is the best course of action. This is only my opinion, but I feel that the live in separation can and does work when it is navigated correctly.
It is important that you give the space that has been asked for. It's equally important that your spouse has the chance to miss you and to feel that scarcity. I felt that in this case, it might be a good idea for this wife to stay with her mom, but only for a little while. The right time frame is just long enough to give her husband the chance to miss her and want for her to come home. If she was resistant to this, she could always move into another room of their house and respect her husband's privacy, but this is sometimes easier said than done.
I can not stress enough that you should take the separation seriously and do whatever you can to find resources or the help that is going to give you the tools to save your marriage. Just waiting for things to blow over or hoping that your husband changes his mind is not always going to be good enough. Be very proactive and remain positive. Give yourself eery chance to succeed without being overly afraid of failure. Remember that you are still married and still have the opportunity to live together. These are both positive things. You just have a little work to do. So don't hesitate to get started so that your marriage will be back on track as soon as is possible.
My own husband was not receptive to living at home during our separation. It might have saved us a lot of time and aggravation if he had been. We did save our marriage, but not without a lot of turmoil and wasted time. If it helps, you can read [http://isavedmymarriage.com]the whole story on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Pros-And-Cons-Of-Living-Together-During-A-Trial-Separation&id=6648994] The Pros And Cons Of Living Together During A Trial Separation
I sometimes hear from people who are getting ready to begin a martial or trial separation. Many times, the separation wasn't their idea and, deep down, they are opposed to it. They are hoping to get the separation over with as soon as possible so that they can get on with the business of saving their marriage.
Because of our very poor economy, many couples decide not to live apart while they are separated. Many decide to wait until they have decided whether or not they are going to divorce before making any decision regarding who is moving out and when. And while many of the couples don't have much of a choice about still living together during the marital or trial separation, they worry if it is the right or best thing to do.
I heard from a wife who said: "for the past several months, my husband has been telling me that he is unhappy with our marriage and he wants to explore a separation. I didn't want the separation, but what was I supposed to do? We can't afford for him to get an apartment while he is trying to sort out his feelings. So he wants to continue to live together while we are separated. When I told my mother about this, she said that it was a crazy idea. She said that he will have no incentive to end the separation if we are still living together. He won't be able to miss me or long for me or see what is he missing while he choosing to live alone. She offered to let me stay with her during the separation. Is she right? Is it OK to continue to live with your spouse when you are separated? Is it a good idea? The idea of living with my mother doesn't appeal to me in the least."
Consider The Pros Of Cons Of Living Together During The Separation: There isn't one definitive answer to this wife's questions. But there are some pros and cons of continuing to live together during your separation.
On the plus side, when you continue to live together, you don't have to worry about luring your husband back home. You may not realize what a great advantage this is, but many wives have a very difficult time getting their husband back home once he has left. You are potentially able to avoid this obstacle if he remains in your home.
Another plus is that you have more access to your husband. You will have an easier time communicating and reconnecting with him than you would if he was living somewhere else. Also, psychologically speaking, many people tell me that the separation does not feel as final or as extreme when the couple are still living together.
Finally, you can't ignore the monetary aspect of this. Supporting a whole additional household when you aren't sure if you're staying together or not can be quite expensive. You could spend that money on counseling, going somewhere fun together to reconnect, or on many other things.
With all of these things said, there can be some cons to living together while separated. The first is that this wife's mother had a valid point. Being apart can encourage people to miss one another and to no longer take one another for granted. When something is scarce, it is just human nature to want it more. This can work to your advantage when you're separated and trying to save your marriage.
Another con to consider is that it can be very difficult to give your spouse the "space" that is often requested during a separation when you are still living with them. People often contact me because they are very frustrated that their spouse is not respecting their need for space. I can understand both points of view. Because unless you are going to split the house right down the middle, this situation can be difficult to navigate.
Finally, I find that people who have an in house separation are less likely to seek help or resources which might aid them in saving their marriage because the situation doesn't seem as immediate to them as it might if they were living apart from their spouse. It's risky to forgo the help that might actually be the difference in saving your marriage.
Tips For Making Your Separation More Successful If One Of You Isn't Moving Out: So now that you've read through the pros and cons, you may be asking yourself what is the best course of action. This is only my opinion, but I feel that the live in separation can and does work when it is navigated correctly.
It is important that you give the space that has been asked for. It's equally important that your spouse has the chance to miss you and to feel that scarcity. I felt that in this case, it might be a good idea for this wife to stay with her mom, but only for a little while. The right time frame is just long enough to give her husband the chance to miss her and want for her to come home. If she was resistant to this, she could always move into another room of their house and respect her husband's privacy, but this is sometimes easier said than done.
I can not stress enough that you should take the separation seriously and do whatever you can to find resources or the help that is going to give you the tools to save your marriage. Just waiting for things to blow over or hoping that your husband changes his mind is not always going to be good enough. Be very proactive and remain positive. Give yourself eery chance to succeed without being overly afraid of failure. Remember that you are still married and still have the opportunity to live together. These are both positive things. You just have a little work to do. So don't hesitate to get started so that your marriage will be back on track as soon as is possible.
My own husband was not receptive to living at home during our separation. It might have saved us a lot of time and aggravation if he had been. We did save our marriage, but not without a lot of turmoil and wasted time. If it helps, you can read [http://isavedmymarriage.com]the whole story on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Pros-And-Cons-Of-Living-Together-During-A-Trial-Separation&id=6648994] The Pros And Cons Of Living Together During A Trial Separation
Thursday, December 15, 2011
4 Practical Tips That Can Save Your Marriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kristie_Brown]Kristie Brown
It's tough for everyone involved when a marriage begins to go south. The fights, the things about your spouse you just don't feel you can tolerate any longer, and the distance between two people who used to be so close and shared an intimate bond is hard to deal with. The main reason this situation is so stressful is usually that neither partner really wants to divorce and start life over again, but they just don't know what to do to fix the problems. What they'd prefer is to revitalize their marriages by creating the strong bonds again. They need to follow the four practical tips that can save a marriage.
Tip one requires that you get to know each other again. When you first married, you had a lot of things in common, and you were both totally immersed in what the other was doing. Time changes things, however, and if you haven't worked hard to build a relationship on that solid foundation and keep in touch with each other, you're going to find it falling apart. Do you think that you know your partner's feelings, activities, and interests as well as you used to, or have demands on your time and other interests driven you apart? Your spouse was attracted by the fact that you cared so much about what he or she was doing, and now they probably feel like you just don't care, even if it isn't true. Spend quality alone time with your spouse in order to become well acquainted with each other again.
The second thing you need to do is to rationally discuss the problems in your marriage with your spouse. The rules for this process are that there is to be no arguing, no name-calling, and no threats of divorce. Instead, spend time discussing your issues and reaching good, compromise solutions that you both can work on. If you start getting angry while you're talking, take some time to cool off before going any farther.
Even the best laid plans can go awry, and you may each need support in what you are trying to accomplish. Having a friend or family member you can confide in will help you get things off your chest as well as to give you a sounding board, and from their vantage point, this other person will be able to see your situation much more clearly.
The final tip is that after you've exhausted the other three tips and before you let go of your marriage completely, you should seek some professional help. This person will be able to clarify your issues and help you set a course of action. Going to a therapist doesn't mean that you've failed. After all, everyone can use a little help sometimes.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com]Stop divorce or here: [http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com]Save My Marriage.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?4-Practical-Tips-That-Can-Save-Your-Marriage&id=6646630] 4 Practical Tips That Can Save Your Marriage
It's tough for everyone involved when a marriage begins to go south. The fights, the things about your spouse you just don't feel you can tolerate any longer, and the distance between two people who used to be so close and shared an intimate bond is hard to deal with. The main reason this situation is so stressful is usually that neither partner really wants to divorce and start life over again, but they just don't know what to do to fix the problems. What they'd prefer is to revitalize their marriages by creating the strong bonds again. They need to follow the four practical tips that can save a marriage.
Tip one requires that you get to know each other again. When you first married, you had a lot of things in common, and you were both totally immersed in what the other was doing. Time changes things, however, and if you haven't worked hard to build a relationship on that solid foundation and keep in touch with each other, you're going to find it falling apart. Do you think that you know your partner's feelings, activities, and interests as well as you used to, or have demands on your time and other interests driven you apart? Your spouse was attracted by the fact that you cared so much about what he or she was doing, and now they probably feel like you just don't care, even if it isn't true. Spend quality alone time with your spouse in order to become well acquainted with each other again.
The second thing you need to do is to rationally discuss the problems in your marriage with your spouse. The rules for this process are that there is to be no arguing, no name-calling, and no threats of divorce. Instead, spend time discussing your issues and reaching good, compromise solutions that you both can work on. If you start getting angry while you're talking, take some time to cool off before going any farther.
Even the best laid plans can go awry, and you may each need support in what you are trying to accomplish. Having a friend or family member you can confide in will help you get things off your chest as well as to give you a sounding board, and from their vantage point, this other person will be able to see your situation much more clearly.
The final tip is that after you've exhausted the other three tips and before you let go of your marriage completely, you should seek some professional help. This person will be able to clarify your issues and help you set a course of action. Going to a therapist doesn't mean that you've failed. After all, everyone can use a little help sometimes.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com]Stop divorce or here: [http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com]Save My Marriage.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?4-Practical-Tips-That-Can-Save-Your-Marriage&id=6646630] 4 Practical Tips That Can Save Your Marriage
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
My Husband Won't Make Me a Priority! How to Shift His Attitude
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Gillian_Reynolds]Gillian Reynolds Your husband has a very full life. Most men do. He likely juggles a full-time career, his responsibilities as a father and his commitment to you. You do the same in your life but you feel that you've always made your husband a priority, even though he hasn't done the same for you. You're frustrated, disappointed and perhaps even a bit confused. You never imagined your life would end up in this place, did you? You feel unappreciated, taken for granted and unloved. Obviously, this situation has to change. You're not going to accomplish that by making subtle comments about how your best friend's husband loves and adores her. It's also not going to make any difference if you nag your husband in an effort to get him to move you to the top of his priority list. You have to address this issue in a way that makes your husband come to his own realization that you're the most important person in his life. Understanding the direction you need to take to accomplish that begins with gaining more insight into why he's acting the way he is.
On the day you and your husband married you promised many things to one another both verbally and silently. To most women one of the major, silent vows is to always put one another at the top of life's priority list. We, as women, almost always do that with our spouses. We may falter a bit when we become mothers primarily because our parental nature kicks in and we focus all of our attention on our little ones. However, with men it tends to be a bit different story. Men sometimes allow their work or their friends to take top billing. If you're a wife who is beginning to notice that shift in her husband's life, it's ultimately going to hurt.
Shifting your husband's attitude so that you become the focal point of his life isn't nearly as hard as you may believe that it is. You've likely already tried speaking to him about the problem. In most cases when a husband is confronted with a wife who says that she feels neglected, he'll take a defensive stance and go on the attack. He may say things about how he works so hard for her or how he can't ever do anything that makes her happy. This is to be expected and any woman who has had this conversation with her husband more than once, knows that it's a normal reaction so she doesn't take it personally.
You absolutely must take a more subtle approach. Your husband reacts better to action than words. Most men do. They will make a change in themselves if they feel something internally as opposed to being told something. That's why it can be incredibly helpful if you temporarily stop paying your husband as much attention as you have been. You shouldn't take the stance of pushing him to the back of your priority list, but instead view it as moving other things ahead of him for a time and for a very defined purpose.
The simpler and less meaningful things are the best. That's to say that if your husband is expecting you to have dinner cooked when he comes home from the office, he should be greeted with a frozen dinner and a note saying you had a yearning to go see a movie with a girlfriend. Another great way to get your point across is to stop doing as much around the house. If you neglect your husband's laundry because you're so busy shopping online for a new handbag, he's going to feel the pinch of your neglect.
This may be viewed by many women as game playing with their spouse but sometimes the way to a man's heart is through sports. It's doubtful that your husband has made a conscious effort to push you off his priority list. It's more likely that he's mindlessly allowed other things to take precedence. By showing him how that feels, you'll be pushing him into seeing that there's a better and more respectful way to be a loving and attentive partner.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and [http://www.makeyourhusbandloveyou.com]love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even [http://www.makeyourhusbandloveyou.com]deeper in love with you than when you two first married.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?My-Husband-Wont-Make-Me-a-Priority!-How-to-Shift-His-Attitude&id=6650028] My Husband Won't Make Me a Priority! How to Shift His Attitude
On the day you and your husband married you promised many things to one another both verbally and silently. To most women one of the major, silent vows is to always put one another at the top of life's priority list. We, as women, almost always do that with our spouses. We may falter a bit when we become mothers primarily because our parental nature kicks in and we focus all of our attention on our little ones. However, with men it tends to be a bit different story. Men sometimes allow their work or their friends to take top billing. If you're a wife who is beginning to notice that shift in her husband's life, it's ultimately going to hurt.
Shifting your husband's attitude so that you become the focal point of his life isn't nearly as hard as you may believe that it is. You've likely already tried speaking to him about the problem. In most cases when a husband is confronted with a wife who says that she feels neglected, he'll take a defensive stance and go on the attack. He may say things about how he works so hard for her or how he can't ever do anything that makes her happy. This is to be expected and any woman who has had this conversation with her husband more than once, knows that it's a normal reaction so she doesn't take it personally.
You absolutely must take a more subtle approach. Your husband reacts better to action than words. Most men do. They will make a change in themselves if they feel something internally as opposed to being told something. That's why it can be incredibly helpful if you temporarily stop paying your husband as much attention as you have been. You shouldn't take the stance of pushing him to the back of your priority list, but instead view it as moving other things ahead of him for a time and for a very defined purpose.
The simpler and less meaningful things are the best. That's to say that if your husband is expecting you to have dinner cooked when he comes home from the office, he should be greeted with a frozen dinner and a note saying you had a yearning to go see a movie with a girlfriend. Another great way to get your point across is to stop doing as much around the house. If you neglect your husband's laundry because you're so busy shopping online for a new handbag, he's going to feel the pinch of your neglect.
This may be viewed by many women as game playing with their spouse but sometimes the way to a man's heart is through sports. It's doubtful that your husband has made a conscious effort to push you off his priority list. It's more likely that he's mindlessly allowed other things to take precedence. By showing him how that feels, you'll be pushing him into seeing that there's a better and more respectful way to be a loving and attentive partner.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and [http://www.makeyourhusbandloveyou.com]love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even [http://www.makeyourhusbandloveyou.com]deeper in love with you than when you two first married.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?My-Husband-Wont-Make-Me-a-Priority!-How-to-Shift-His-Attitude&id=6650028] My Husband Won't Make Me a Priority! How to Shift His Attitude
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Christian Marriage Help: Six Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Use of Pornography
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Karla_Downing]Karla Downing
Are you looking for Christian marriage help because your husband is using pornography? Here are six ways to respond to your husband's use of pornography:
Honesty. Be honest about how you are feeling about the porn and how it is affecting your relationship. Be honest about what you need. Be honest about the grieving process you need to go through. Until you are ready to set boundaries, just state what your needs and feelings are. You can say things like, "I am not sure what I will do if this continues" or "I don't agree that looking at pornography is okay, because it isn't with me."
Boundaries. When you are ready, state your boundaries regarding the pornography. State them with consequences for violating them only when you are ready to enforce them. You also need boundaries to protect you from financial loss and sexual diseases.
Detachment. You have to manage your response. This is your husband's problem to deal with. He has to hit his own bottom where he wants to stop. Your willingness to be honest about how this is affecting you and the relationship, as well as your boundaries, will help him reach his bottom. If you enable by covering up, tolerating, and pretending it is okay, you will prevent him from facing his own sin.
Support. Get support for yourself so you can get stronger and clearer on the problem and how to respond to it. You can reach out to a friend, family member, counselor, or 12 Step support group.
Prayer. Continue to pray for your husband and for the Holy Spirit to convict him. The Holy Spirit can use your honesty, boundaries, and actions to convict your husband (1 Peter 3:1-2). Pray for wisdom with timing and grace with any consequences, especially if your husband is trying to stop and is acknowledging the problem. Trust God with the outcome while praying for patience.
Awareness. It takes emotional maturity and awareness to manage your reaction. You will have "triggers," which are anything that reminds you of what your husband did. It could be a look, a phone call, being on the computer, not answering a cell phone, a touch, a movie, or anything else that reminds you of the sexual acting out. If you react in a way that harms the relationship, your reaction can contribute to a negative cycle in the marriage that prevents healing and intimacy. Recognize your triggers. Talk to your spouse or support person about them, so you can react in a way that isn't destructive.
This Christian marriage help gives you six ways to respond to your husband's use of pornography that will increase the probability that he will take the problem seriously and stop, even though it might take time for it to happen.
If you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.
Just click here: http://www.free15daychallenge.com
Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Christian-Marriage-Help:-Six-Ways-to-Respond-to-Your-Husbands-Use-of-Pornography&id=6650985] Christian Marriage Help: Six Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Use of Pornography
Are you looking for Christian marriage help because your husband is using pornography? Here are six ways to respond to your husband's use of pornography:
Honesty. Be honest about how you are feeling about the porn and how it is affecting your relationship. Be honest about what you need. Be honest about the grieving process you need to go through. Until you are ready to set boundaries, just state what your needs and feelings are. You can say things like, "I am not sure what I will do if this continues" or "I don't agree that looking at pornography is okay, because it isn't with me."
Boundaries. When you are ready, state your boundaries regarding the pornography. State them with consequences for violating them only when you are ready to enforce them. You also need boundaries to protect you from financial loss and sexual diseases.
Detachment. You have to manage your response. This is your husband's problem to deal with. He has to hit his own bottom where he wants to stop. Your willingness to be honest about how this is affecting you and the relationship, as well as your boundaries, will help him reach his bottom. If you enable by covering up, tolerating, and pretending it is okay, you will prevent him from facing his own sin.
Support. Get support for yourself so you can get stronger and clearer on the problem and how to respond to it. You can reach out to a friend, family member, counselor, or 12 Step support group.
Prayer. Continue to pray for your husband and for the Holy Spirit to convict him. The Holy Spirit can use your honesty, boundaries, and actions to convict your husband (1 Peter 3:1-2). Pray for wisdom with timing and grace with any consequences, especially if your husband is trying to stop and is acknowledging the problem. Trust God with the outcome while praying for patience.
Awareness. It takes emotional maturity and awareness to manage your reaction. You will have "triggers," which are anything that reminds you of what your husband did. It could be a look, a phone call, being on the computer, not answering a cell phone, a touch, a movie, or anything else that reminds you of the sexual acting out. If you react in a way that harms the relationship, your reaction can contribute to a negative cycle in the marriage that prevents healing and intimacy. Recognize your triggers. Talk to your spouse or support person about them, so you can react in a way that isn't destructive.
This Christian marriage help gives you six ways to respond to your husband's use of pornography that will increase the probability that he will take the problem seriously and stop, even though it might take time for it to happen.
If you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.
Just click here: http://www.free15daychallenge.com
Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla's passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Christian-Marriage-Help:-Six-Ways-to-Respond-to-Your-Husbands-Use-of-Pornography&id=6650985] Christian Marriage Help: Six Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Use of Pornography
Friday, December 9, 2011
How To Get Your Man To Love You Always
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Eng_Hou_Ng]Eng Hou Ng
When passion wanes, women often find it difficult to keep their men interested in them sexually. Here is how to get him interested in you again.
(1) Keep your man on his toes
Build a cloud of mystery around you. A certain degree of elusiveness and unpredictability will make him crave for more of you. Never reveal too much of yourself. Send him confusing signals by being dominating and pliable, and innocent and naughty, all at the same time. This will make him want to explore you more and keep him hooked to you.
(2) Stop being overly nice all the time
An over dosage of nicety can put you in the risk of losing the power of seduction. Occasionally let out hints of dark shades in your character. Be a little bit mean or nasty if required at times, but not to be uninteresting.
(3) Boost your sex appeal
Do not be too complacent after marriage. Make yourself visually appealing to him. Groom yourself by putting on a perfume, wearing clothes, shoes and make-up that suit your taste and personality. All these efforts will also make you feel confident and good about you.
(4) Address his emotional and intellectual needs
You should know about the things he likes - his favorite colors, movies, songs, dishes, fetish, etc. Give him pleasant surprises by pampering him with some of his favorites. Adopt yourself to his likes, dislikes and moods. Once you are able to tune in to his needs, he will be unable to turn his back on you.
(5) Make him feel respected
On top of every man's wish list is to have the respect from his partner. Make him feel through your words and actions that you value his presence in your life.
(6) Make him feel good
Boost his confidence by telling him directly or subtly whatever you like about him. Human beings crave for compliments and affection. Making him feel good should get him to open up with you.
(7) Give him moral support
Tell him you will always be there behind him in all the things he does. Praise him for making an effort and wish him better luck next time when he encounters set-backs. Avoid using overly harsh words on him even if you disagree with him, as this may cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
(8) Make him feel good in bed
The feeling of being unable to satisfy his partner sexually can hurt his morale and confidence. Compliment him on his performance and the things that he does that turn you on and arouse you a lot. However, this does not prevent you from offering some feedbacks on how to please you correctly. Faking orgasm can only make him feel being treated like a fool.
(9) Seduce him
Buy sexy lingerie especially to seduce him. If he wants to try new things such as different sexual positions different places and time for having sex, let him do so. Of course, on certain things that you are not comfortable with, give him subtle hints or tell him how he can improve on them.
(10) Take charge at times
Don not behave like a dead fish in bed and expect him to do everything all the time. It is okay if you take the initiative at times. That will turn him on and make him feel wanted.
To keep your man interested in you, you need to play the role of seducer and make him fall in love with you. Want some more tips on this? Click on [http://www.sex-tips-site.com]Love You Always and [http://www.getting-chicks.com]Want You More.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Get-Your-Man-To-Love-You-Always&id=6648745] How To Get Your Man To Love You Always
When passion wanes, women often find it difficult to keep their men interested in them sexually. Here is how to get him interested in you again.
(1) Keep your man on his toes
Build a cloud of mystery around you. A certain degree of elusiveness and unpredictability will make him crave for more of you. Never reveal too much of yourself. Send him confusing signals by being dominating and pliable, and innocent and naughty, all at the same time. This will make him want to explore you more and keep him hooked to you.
(2) Stop being overly nice all the time
An over dosage of nicety can put you in the risk of losing the power of seduction. Occasionally let out hints of dark shades in your character. Be a little bit mean or nasty if required at times, but not to be uninteresting.
(3) Boost your sex appeal
Do not be too complacent after marriage. Make yourself visually appealing to him. Groom yourself by putting on a perfume, wearing clothes, shoes and make-up that suit your taste and personality. All these efforts will also make you feel confident and good about you.
(4) Address his emotional and intellectual needs
You should know about the things he likes - his favorite colors, movies, songs, dishes, fetish, etc. Give him pleasant surprises by pampering him with some of his favorites. Adopt yourself to his likes, dislikes and moods. Once you are able to tune in to his needs, he will be unable to turn his back on you.
(5) Make him feel respected
On top of every man's wish list is to have the respect from his partner. Make him feel through your words and actions that you value his presence in your life.
(6) Make him feel good
Boost his confidence by telling him directly or subtly whatever you like about him. Human beings crave for compliments and affection. Making him feel good should get him to open up with you.
(7) Give him moral support
Tell him you will always be there behind him in all the things he does. Praise him for making an effort and wish him better luck next time when he encounters set-backs. Avoid using overly harsh words on him even if you disagree with him, as this may cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
(8) Make him feel good in bed
The feeling of being unable to satisfy his partner sexually can hurt his morale and confidence. Compliment him on his performance and the things that he does that turn you on and arouse you a lot. However, this does not prevent you from offering some feedbacks on how to please you correctly. Faking orgasm can only make him feel being treated like a fool.
(9) Seduce him
Buy sexy lingerie especially to seduce him. If he wants to try new things such as different sexual positions different places and time for having sex, let him do so. Of course, on certain things that you are not comfortable with, give him subtle hints or tell him how he can improve on them.
(10) Take charge at times
Don not behave like a dead fish in bed and expect him to do everything all the time. It is okay if you take the initiative at times. That will turn him on and make him feel wanted.
To keep your man interested in you, you need to play the role of seducer and make him fall in love with you. Want some more tips on this? Click on [http://www.sex-tips-site.com]Love You Always and [http://www.getting-chicks.com]Want You More.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Get-Your-Man-To-Love-You-Always&id=6648745] How To Get Your Man To Love You Always
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Good Advice For Couples Who Have Marriages That Need a Transfusion
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kristie_Brown]Kristie Brown
Saving a marriage that has deteriorated to the point of discussing divorce can be a major, uphill battle. It's up to each individual to examine their relationship and decide if it's worth keeping. You have to figure out what exactly is causing your marital break-up before you can decide what you want to do. If you're married to someone who is violent or otherwise abusive, you're probably best cutting your losses and getting out now. If the problem turns out to be a lot of little issues that have built up over time, and if you feel that your spouse still loves you and will be willing to work alongside you to make your marriage right again, then that's what you should do.
Every situation is different just like every person is unique, and you need to look deep to find the basic reasons why your own marriage may be floundering. Never assume that the problem is what you see on the surface. If your spouse is known to have been cheating on you, you can't just blame the problems on him or her. Instead, you have to discover what led them to seeking someone else. While there are some people who just cheat to say they did, most marrieds having adulterous flings are doing it because of clear-cut reasons they are unhappy with their marriages. For instance, the lack of a satisfactory sex life can cause some people to look outside their marriages for gratification.
Once you've thought over the reasons why your union isn't as close as it once was, you need to discuss them rationally with your spouse. Yelling isn't going to solve anything, so keep your temper in check. Most men are never going to be as communicative about their feelings as women are, so women need to encourage their spouses to talk things over. Ladies, attacking your mate is only going to make your spouse clam up even more, because he isn't going to want to reveal anything that makes him vulnerable to what you say. If you feel anger taking over your discussion, give yourselves time to cool down before tackling the problems again.
Reintroduction of intimate little moments in your relationship are going to do a world of good. Not that you have to dramatically express your love several times a day, but initiating little gestures, such as quick kisses and holding hands, will help your spouse realize that you really are serious about restoring your marriage.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/second-chance.html]free marriage advice or here [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/second-chance.html]marriage advice online.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Good-Advice-For-Couples-Who-Have-Marriages-That-Need-a-Transfusion&id=6649231] Good Advice For Couples Who Have Marriages That Need a Transfusion
Saving a marriage that has deteriorated to the point of discussing divorce can be a major, uphill battle. It's up to each individual to examine their relationship and decide if it's worth keeping. You have to figure out what exactly is causing your marital break-up before you can decide what you want to do. If you're married to someone who is violent or otherwise abusive, you're probably best cutting your losses and getting out now. If the problem turns out to be a lot of little issues that have built up over time, and if you feel that your spouse still loves you and will be willing to work alongside you to make your marriage right again, then that's what you should do.
Every situation is different just like every person is unique, and you need to look deep to find the basic reasons why your own marriage may be floundering. Never assume that the problem is what you see on the surface. If your spouse is known to have been cheating on you, you can't just blame the problems on him or her. Instead, you have to discover what led them to seeking someone else. While there are some people who just cheat to say they did, most marrieds having adulterous flings are doing it because of clear-cut reasons they are unhappy with their marriages. For instance, the lack of a satisfactory sex life can cause some people to look outside their marriages for gratification.
Once you've thought over the reasons why your union isn't as close as it once was, you need to discuss them rationally with your spouse. Yelling isn't going to solve anything, so keep your temper in check. Most men are never going to be as communicative about their feelings as women are, so women need to encourage their spouses to talk things over. Ladies, attacking your mate is only going to make your spouse clam up even more, because he isn't going to want to reveal anything that makes him vulnerable to what you say. If you feel anger taking over your discussion, give yourselves time to cool down before tackling the problems again.
Reintroduction of intimate little moments in your relationship are going to do a world of good. Not that you have to dramatically express your love several times a day, but initiating little gestures, such as quick kisses and holding hands, will help your spouse realize that you really are serious about restoring your marriage.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/second-chance.html]free marriage advice or here [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/second-chance.html]marriage advice online.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Good-Advice-For-Couples-Who-Have-Marriages-That-Need-a-Transfusion&id=6649231] Good Advice For Couples Who Have Marriages That Need a Transfusion
Monday, December 5, 2011
7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=D_P_Haynes]D P Haynes
There are many couples who are struggling today with trying to build a healthy marriage. Believe it or not there is a difference between a happy marriage and a healthy marriage. You can have two individuals happy at the present time but because their relationship isn't healthy there is a risk for a marriage breakdown or failure in the future.
I'm sure you are thinking "how could a happy marriage not be a healthy marriage"? Well, why don't we explore the matter for a few minutes and you can make up your own mind if this is true. In fact, you might even be able to examine your marriage and decide if it is healthy or just happy.
The following is a short snapshot of the marriage between Anthony and Samantha which we can put under the microscope.
Anthony and Samantha have been married for 6 years and have two beautiful children and a nice home in the suburbs. Anthony is a high achiever and he works long hours and provides a comfortable living for his family. They enjoy all of the benefits of living the life of an upper middle class family and that includes having disposable income and like-minded friends. On the weekends Anthony needs to unwind by playing 18 holes of golf and Samantha does quite a bit of hanging out and shopping with the girls.
Now, on the surface this seems like the American dream and a happy marriage. However, there is just one problem. Anthony and Samantha are not a happily married couple. They are happy as individuals but have very little time for each other. They are building separate lives and when the marriage doldrums hit they will be ill-prepared to deal with them.
Does your marriage have any resemblance to Anthony and Samantha's? Are you in that awkward stage in your marriage where things make you happy and not spending quality time with your spouse?
Please keep in mind that the longer you go with not putting your relationship in the right order the more work you will have to do to restore it when it begins to fall apart. I hope that you realize how important it is to continue to work on building a healthy marriage.
Now, I don't want you to misunderstand what I'm suggesting. You can be happy and have a healthy marriage. You don't have to give up your friends, golf, career or shopping if that's what you like to do. However, your spouse and your marriage should be at the top of the priority list. That's when you know that you are working towards a happy and healthy marriage.
7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
1. You are able to talk about anything.
2. Trust is not a questionable trait in your relationship.
3. Differences are embraced and not a continuous form of contention.
4. Being around each other is a joy and not a burden.
5. Mistakes are truly forgiven and grievances are not held onto for weeks or months or years.
6. There is a mutual feeling that your marriage comes before everything else.
7. Spending time together is important and excuses are not acceptable.
The above are just some minimum areas that tend to indicate that a relationship is healthy. Your marriage might seem complicated and hard to keep moving in the right direction but often times it really isn't. Marriage isn't difficult but people are.
The good news is that no marriage is perfect and all marriages can use improvement. Please don't ever make the wrong assumption that your marriage is so broken that it can't be fixed or to perfect to need improvement. You would be surprised to know just how easily an unhealthy marriage could be made healthy and vice-versa.
If your marriage is not as healthy as you would like it to be now is the time to do something about it. Please don't wait until you have more time to work on your marriage. Make the time and your relationship will continue to grow stronger.
I know marriage is not easy but it shouldn't keep you frustrated, confused and desiring something better. If you need more help in restoring relationships, or finding help in building a healthy marriage, please read more here, [http://restoringrelationships.info/saving_your_marriage.html]Save The Marriage.
If you would like to read more articles to help restore your marriage please set aside some quite time and visit here; [http://www.helpinmarriage.com/]Help In Marriage
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?7-Signs-Of-A-Healthy-Marriage&id=6650516] 7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
There are many couples who are struggling today with trying to build a healthy marriage. Believe it or not there is a difference between a happy marriage and a healthy marriage. You can have two individuals happy at the present time but because their relationship isn't healthy there is a risk for a marriage breakdown or failure in the future.
I'm sure you are thinking "how could a happy marriage not be a healthy marriage"? Well, why don't we explore the matter for a few minutes and you can make up your own mind if this is true. In fact, you might even be able to examine your marriage and decide if it is healthy or just happy.
The following is a short snapshot of the marriage between Anthony and Samantha which we can put under the microscope.
Anthony and Samantha have been married for 6 years and have two beautiful children and a nice home in the suburbs. Anthony is a high achiever and he works long hours and provides a comfortable living for his family. They enjoy all of the benefits of living the life of an upper middle class family and that includes having disposable income and like-minded friends. On the weekends Anthony needs to unwind by playing 18 holes of golf and Samantha does quite a bit of hanging out and shopping with the girls.
Now, on the surface this seems like the American dream and a happy marriage. However, there is just one problem. Anthony and Samantha are not a happily married couple. They are happy as individuals but have very little time for each other. They are building separate lives and when the marriage doldrums hit they will be ill-prepared to deal with them.
Does your marriage have any resemblance to Anthony and Samantha's? Are you in that awkward stage in your marriage where things make you happy and not spending quality time with your spouse?
Please keep in mind that the longer you go with not putting your relationship in the right order the more work you will have to do to restore it when it begins to fall apart. I hope that you realize how important it is to continue to work on building a healthy marriage.
Now, I don't want you to misunderstand what I'm suggesting. You can be happy and have a healthy marriage. You don't have to give up your friends, golf, career or shopping if that's what you like to do. However, your spouse and your marriage should be at the top of the priority list. That's when you know that you are working towards a happy and healthy marriage.
7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
1. You are able to talk about anything.
2. Trust is not a questionable trait in your relationship.
3. Differences are embraced and not a continuous form of contention.
4. Being around each other is a joy and not a burden.
5. Mistakes are truly forgiven and grievances are not held onto for weeks or months or years.
6. There is a mutual feeling that your marriage comes before everything else.
7. Spending time together is important and excuses are not acceptable.
The above are just some minimum areas that tend to indicate that a relationship is healthy. Your marriage might seem complicated and hard to keep moving in the right direction but often times it really isn't. Marriage isn't difficult but people are.
The good news is that no marriage is perfect and all marriages can use improvement. Please don't ever make the wrong assumption that your marriage is so broken that it can't be fixed or to perfect to need improvement. You would be surprised to know just how easily an unhealthy marriage could be made healthy and vice-versa.
If your marriage is not as healthy as you would like it to be now is the time to do something about it. Please don't wait until you have more time to work on your marriage. Make the time and your relationship will continue to grow stronger.
I know marriage is not easy but it shouldn't keep you frustrated, confused and desiring something better. If you need more help in restoring relationships, or finding help in building a healthy marriage, please read more here, [http://restoringrelationships.info/saving_your_marriage.html]Save The Marriage.
If you would like to read more articles to help restore your marriage please set aside some quite time and visit here; [http://www.helpinmarriage.com/]Help In Marriage
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?7-Signs-Of-A-Healthy-Marriage&id=6650516] 7 Signs Of A Healthy Marriage
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Just Can't Let Go Of Your Husband? Here's Some Possible Reasons Why
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane]Leslie Cane
I sometimes hear from women who are having a hard time giving up on or letting go of their husbands. This can be true even if a separation or divorce is imminent or is actually happening. And when I get these types of correspondence, it always brings back memories for me because I was in this situation, looking at a husband who I knew didn't want to be with me when I knew in my heart that I never, ever wanted to be without him.
I heard from a wife who said: "my husband asked for separation about six months ago. At first, I hoped that this would just be a temporary situation and that he would decide to come back within a few weeks or at most a few months. But, actually, things got worse. He started becoming more and more distant and he answered my calls less and less. Then a few weeks ago, he told me that he was seeking a divorce. So, now it's pretty clear that he is asking me to let him go on a permanent level. I am not sure that I can do that. Intellectually, I know that he can file papers to end our marriage and that will mean that we are no longer legally married and that I have no claim to him. But, in my heart, I feel like he will always be mine and I'm not sure if I will ever be able to let him go. My friends say that none of this is fair to me. They say that if he doesn't want me, the best thing that I can do is to find someone who does. I understand why they are concerned. And I know that they are right. So why can't I let go of my husband?"
This correspondence brought back so many memories for me. I sometimes think that people have the mistaken conception that you if you just decide to let your husband or your marriage go or you try hard enough, then this is all that is needed. Things just aren't that simple when you are talking about love and the person who you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. Still, there are some common reasons that you might be having trouble letting him go. I will list some of them below.
It's Too Soon: Sometimes people expect too much of themselves far too soon. It had only been a couple of months after the separation and a couple of weeks after the husband announced that he wanted a divorce. The wife hadn't had a lot of time to process this, much less to grieve. Accept that this is a process that very well may take some time. Sometimes, things don't progress as fast as you might like, but don't beat yourself up for this.
There is no set time line on letting go. And quite frankly, if I hadn't saved my marriage, I have no problem admitting that I might never have let my husband go. I would've had to move on and I am confident I would have done just that. But moving on and letting go are two different things.
He's Sending Mixed Or Confusing Signals That Give You Hope: Many times when wives tell me that they can't let go, one of the reasons that this is the case is because the husband is sending mixed signals, whether he intends to or not. In this case, the wife admitted that a few weeks before he asked for divorce, she and her husband had gone out and exchanged some flirtatious behavior. Of course, the wife got her hopes up that this new interest would lead to them getting back together. And she was confused as to how he could just turn his feelings off and on. Often, wives who can't let go see and hear contradictions that make them question what their husband is truly feeling or what he really wants. And they are left thinking that if the feelings are there, why can't the marriage be there too? This leads me to my next point.
You Worry That There Are Things You Didn't Say Or Try That Might Have Made A Difference In Saving Your Marriage: Sometimes, when wives have a hard time letting their husband or their marriage go, it's because, deep in their hearts, they worry that there is a door that remained unopened. In other words, they worry that they didn't try every single thing that might have worked, or that they didn't do everything in their power to save their marriage. Maybe they were afraid of rejection or of looking stupid so they kept quiet when they should have said something. Or maybe they haven't yet tried counseling. Or maybe they waited for their husband to make the first move when they themselves should have taken a chance. Whatever the specific reason, many wives can't let go because they still have doubts and regret that they didn't pull out all the stops. So they are left wondering "what if" and this can make closure quite difficult.
So what happens if you find yourself in this situation? Well, you have a choice. You can attempt to right these wrongs and say or do what you need to say or do today. Or you can call it a day and move on. I can't promise you that speaking up will make any difference in your situation or might save your marriage. But, you will never know unless you try. And once you do, at least you will know that you did everything that you could and this might help you with closure.
I'd like to make one last point. Frankly, nothing says that you have to let him go. There's no law against holding on in your own heart. Yes, for your own well being and health, you'll want to move on when the time is right. But in your own heart, there might still be a place for him and I think that this is OK, as long as this doesn't keep you from living your life.
In my own case, I'm actually glad I didn't give up on my husband because it meant that much later, I was able to save my marriage. But even if this would not have been possible, there would have always been a place in my heart for him. If it helps, you can read [http://isavedmymarriage.com]the whole story of how we saved our marriage on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Just-Cant-Let-Go-Of-Your-Husband?-Heres-Some-Possible-Reasons-Why&id=6651395] Just Can't Let Go Of Your Husband? Here's Some Possible Reasons Why
I sometimes hear from women who are having a hard time giving up on or letting go of their husbands. This can be true even if a separation or divorce is imminent or is actually happening. And when I get these types of correspondence, it always brings back memories for me because I was in this situation, looking at a husband who I knew didn't want to be with me when I knew in my heart that I never, ever wanted to be without him.
I heard from a wife who said: "my husband asked for separation about six months ago. At first, I hoped that this would just be a temporary situation and that he would decide to come back within a few weeks or at most a few months. But, actually, things got worse. He started becoming more and more distant and he answered my calls less and less. Then a few weeks ago, he told me that he was seeking a divorce. So, now it's pretty clear that he is asking me to let him go on a permanent level. I am not sure that I can do that. Intellectually, I know that he can file papers to end our marriage and that will mean that we are no longer legally married and that I have no claim to him. But, in my heart, I feel like he will always be mine and I'm not sure if I will ever be able to let him go. My friends say that none of this is fair to me. They say that if he doesn't want me, the best thing that I can do is to find someone who does. I understand why they are concerned. And I know that they are right. So why can't I let go of my husband?"
This correspondence brought back so many memories for me. I sometimes think that people have the mistaken conception that you if you just decide to let your husband or your marriage go or you try hard enough, then this is all that is needed. Things just aren't that simple when you are talking about love and the person who you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. Still, there are some common reasons that you might be having trouble letting him go. I will list some of them below.
It's Too Soon: Sometimes people expect too much of themselves far too soon. It had only been a couple of months after the separation and a couple of weeks after the husband announced that he wanted a divorce. The wife hadn't had a lot of time to process this, much less to grieve. Accept that this is a process that very well may take some time. Sometimes, things don't progress as fast as you might like, but don't beat yourself up for this.
There is no set time line on letting go. And quite frankly, if I hadn't saved my marriage, I have no problem admitting that I might never have let my husband go. I would've had to move on and I am confident I would have done just that. But moving on and letting go are two different things.
He's Sending Mixed Or Confusing Signals That Give You Hope: Many times when wives tell me that they can't let go, one of the reasons that this is the case is because the husband is sending mixed signals, whether he intends to or not. In this case, the wife admitted that a few weeks before he asked for divorce, she and her husband had gone out and exchanged some flirtatious behavior. Of course, the wife got her hopes up that this new interest would lead to them getting back together. And she was confused as to how he could just turn his feelings off and on. Often, wives who can't let go see and hear contradictions that make them question what their husband is truly feeling or what he really wants. And they are left thinking that if the feelings are there, why can't the marriage be there too? This leads me to my next point.
You Worry That There Are Things You Didn't Say Or Try That Might Have Made A Difference In Saving Your Marriage: Sometimes, when wives have a hard time letting their husband or their marriage go, it's because, deep in their hearts, they worry that there is a door that remained unopened. In other words, they worry that they didn't try every single thing that might have worked, or that they didn't do everything in their power to save their marriage. Maybe they were afraid of rejection or of looking stupid so they kept quiet when they should have said something. Or maybe they haven't yet tried counseling. Or maybe they waited for their husband to make the first move when they themselves should have taken a chance. Whatever the specific reason, many wives can't let go because they still have doubts and regret that they didn't pull out all the stops. So they are left wondering "what if" and this can make closure quite difficult.
So what happens if you find yourself in this situation? Well, you have a choice. You can attempt to right these wrongs and say or do what you need to say or do today. Or you can call it a day and move on. I can't promise you that speaking up will make any difference in your situation or might save your marriage. But, you will never know unless you try. And once you do, at least you will know that you did everything that you could and this might help you with closure.
I'd like to make one last point. Frankly, nothing says that you have to let him go. There's no law against holding on in your own heart. Yes, for your own well being and health, you'll want to move on when the time is right. But in your own heart, there might still be a place for him and I think that this is OK, as long as this doesn't keep you from living your life.
In my own case, I'm actually glad I didn't give up on my husband because it meant that much later, I was able to save my marriage. But even if this would not have been possible, there would have always been a place in my heart for him. If it helps, you can read [http://isavedmymarriage.com]the whole story of how we saved our marriage on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Just-Cant-Let-Go-Of-Your-Husband?-Heres-Some-Possible-Reasons-Why&id=6651395] Just Can't Let Go Of Your Husband? Here's Some Possible Reasons Why
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Passive Aggressive Husband - How to Deal With This Type of Man
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Desiree_B_North]Desiree B North
What is a passive aggressive husband? What can I do with a passive aggressive husband? What are the characteristics of a passive aggressive husband?
There are many different types of examples of a passive aggressive husband. While there are many traits, one man will not have them all. However, the overall trend will be that your husband is trying to get out of responsibilities. He will also try to control you and make you feel bad for the things that he does wrong. For more on what to look out for with a passive aggressive husband, keep reading below.
Controlling Nature
There are several ways why a passive aggressive husband will try to control you. More often than not, he will have a fear of dependency and be afraid to be alone. As a result, he will manipulate his wife into staying by his side at all times.
Out of Touch
A passive aggressive man will also be out of touch with his feelings. As a result, he will refuse to show any that may show a softer side to him. In order to cover for this trait, he will pick fights to show how tough he is and to create some distance.
He will be an Object
This type of individual may say that he will do what you ask and he will promise to do so. However, that promise will not last very long. In addition, he will do what he can to stand in the way of you and whatever it is that you need or want.
Chaos
This type of man will also do what he can to create chaos in his wife's life. This means that he will not finish any job that she asks him to do, no matter how many times he promises that it will get done. In addition, he will also believe that he has no need for deadlines. He believes that deadlines are for other people and that he has no use for them.
Sets the Rules
One way a passive aggressive husband will try to set the rules in a relationship is by constantly being late and forgetful. This means that you will have to abide by his schedule and his sense of time. He will also suffer from selective forgiveness. By this he will remember the things that are important to him and forget those that may be important to you. This will also mean that he is living the relationship on his terms.
Child-Like
This type of man will also be very child-like in that he likes to sulk when he doesn't get his way. He will also begin to sulk when he is unable to live up to obligations. This will also cause to be very withdrawn as he pouts and it could take him a while to get over it and for his mood to come around.
If any of these traits sound like your husband, then you will want to take stock of the relationship and determine if it is one that you want to stay with or you may consider ending it altogether.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Fall in Love with you.
Desiree North is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Passive-Aggressive-Husband---How-to-Deal-With-This-Type-of-Man&id=6648612] Passive Aggressive Husband - How to Deal With This Type of Man
What is a passive aggressive husband? What can I do with a passive aggressive husband? What are the characteristics of a passive aggressive husband?
There are many different types of examples of a passive aggressive husband. While there are many traits, one man will not have them all. However, the overall trend will be that your husband is trying to get out of responsibilities. He will also try to control you and make you feel bad for the things that he does wrong. For more on what to look out for with a passive aggressive husband, keep reading below.
Controlling Nature
There are several ways why a passive aggressive husband will try to control you. More often than not, he will have a fear of dependency and be afraid to be alone. As a result, he will manipulate his wife into staying by his side at all times.
Out of Touch
A passive aggressive man will also be out of touch with his feelings. As a result, he will refuse to show any that may show a softer side to him. In order to cover for this trait, he will pick fights to show how tough he is and to create some distance.
He will be an Object
This type of individual may say that he will do what you ask and he will promise to do so. However, that promise will not last very long. In addition, he will do what he can to stand in the way of you and whatever it is that you need or want.
Chaos
This type of man will also do what he can to create chaos in his wife's life. This means that he will not finish any job that she asks him to do, no matter how many times he promises that it will get done. In addition, he will also believe that he has no need for deadlines. He believes that deadlines are for other people and that he has no use for them.
Sets the Rules
One way a passive aggressive husband will try to set the rules in a relationship is by constantly being late and forgetful. This means that you will have to abide by his schedule and his sense of time. He will also suffer from selective forgiveness. By this he will remember the things that are important to him and forget those that may be important to you. This will also mean that he is living the relationship on his terms.
Child-Like
This type of man will also be very child-like in that he likes to sulk when he doesn't get his way. He will also begin to sulk when he is unable to live up to obligations. This will also cause to be very withdrawn as he pouts and it could take him a while to get over it and for his mood to come around.
If any of these traits sound like your husband, then you will want to take stock of the relationship and determine if it is one that you want to stay with or you may consider ending it altogether.
To find out more about how to get male attention, click [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Understand Men. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man [http://www.onlinelovequiz.com]Fall in Love with you.
Desiree North is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Passive-Aggressive-Husband---How-to-Deal-With-This-Type-of-Man&id=6648612] Passive Aggressive Husband - How to Deal With This Type of Man
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
How to Stop Marriage Fighting - Know the Roots
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Richard_A._Wright]Richard A. Wright
A good conflict may be healthy for couples. When you argue with your partner, you're being comfortable with your own self and you're not scared of showing your true colors. However, too much fighting is a different story. When every simple move causes troubles or when a trivial issue is often taken as a huge mistake, you're perhaps living in chaos.
To resolve conflicts, dissect the problem and know its roots. Otherwise, you're like a surgeon cutting the patient's flesh without prior diagnosis. Below are four usual causes of a couple's clashes.
Personality Differences
Because everyone is uniquely special, everyone is also different from each other. This leads to divergence in preferences, perspectives and decisions. You'll discover how different your partner is from you when you start to live under the same roof. As you share the journey, you'll detest how he messes up his things right after you clean the house. You'll hate how she renders overtime work when she should be cooking your dinner. However, as long as you respect and complement each other, personality differences won't get in the way.
Financial Constraints
Survival is of utmost importance for everyone. Having enough resources gives you a sense of security when somebody gets sick, when the fridge runs out of food and when the bills are in the mailbox. That's why when you're having difficulty trying to make ends meet, you feel the pressure. This doubles up when you have little kids who turns to you for their basic needs. Because of this, it's important for the couple to control your spending and to live within your means.
Infidelity and Jealousy
Staying loyal to your partner is the greatest challenge for married people. By being faithful, you preserve the vows you exchanged during your wedding day. However, some still wander away because of their own reasons. When this occurs, issues of trust crop out and these negatively affect the relationship. It can even cause divorce or annulment. So preserve the sacredness of your vows. Stay true to him/her through thick and thin.
Misunderstanding
Poor communication is the main cause of misunderstandings. You may have known each other for a long time but it doesn't mean you can throw ridicule statements, assume your partner reads your mind all the time or ignore what the other routinely says. To maintain effective communication in the family, pay attention to what your partner says or doesn't say. Exchange both your serious and nonsense ideas and share how things are going at the workplace. Your partner must know what's within you for a better understanding.
A successful marriage doesn't mean having less number of troubles. The maturity of a couple can be measured on how well they can overcome their problems, how they strengthen their relationship and how they improve through each other's support. Unfortunately, some couples just give up the fight without living the words of Doug Larson: More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
If your spouse keeps pointing at your mistakes and make a fuss out of it, he/she maybe try to cover something else; learn to notice [http://takinganexback.com/signs-of-a-cheater/]signs of a cheater and you might find the real cause of it. At some point, you might be decide that it's enough. When is that? Read some considerations at [http://takinganexback.com/when-to-divorce/]when to divorce.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Stop-Marriage-Fighting---Know-the-Roots&id=6650772] How to Stop Marriage Fighting - Know the Roots
A good conflict may be healthy for couples. When you argue with your partner, you're being comfortable with your own self and you're not scared of showing your true colors. However, too much fighting is a different story. When every simple move causes troubles or when a trivial issue is often taken as a huge mistake, you're perhaps living in chaos.
To resolve conflicts, dissect the problem and know its roots. Otherwise, you're like a surgeon cutting the patient's flesh without prior diagnosis. Below are four usual causes of a couple's clashes.
Personality Differences
Because everyone is uniquely special, everyone is also different from each other. This leads to divergence in preferences, perspectives and decisions. You'll discover how different your partner is from you when you start to live under the same roof. As you share the journey, you'll detest how he messes up his things right after you clean the house. You'll hate how she renders overtime work when she should be cooking your dinner. However, as long as you respect and complement each other, personality differences won't get in the way.
Financial Constraints
Survival is of utmost importance for everyone. Having enough resources gives you a sense of security when somebody gets sick, when the fridge runs out of food and when the bills are in the mailbox. That's why when you're having difficulty trying to make ends meet, you feel the pressure. This doubles up when you have little kids who turns to you for their basic needs. Because of this, it's important for the couple to control your spending and to live within your means.
Infidelity and Jealousy
Staying loyal to your partner is the greatest challenge for married people. By being faithful, you preserve the vows you exchanged during your wedding day. However, some still wander away because of their own reasons. When this occurs, issues of trust crop out and these negatively affect the relationship. It can even cause divorce or annulment. So preserve the sacredness of your vows. Stay true to him/her through thick and thin.
Misunderstanding
Poor communication is the main cause of misunderstandings. You may have known each other for a long time but it doesn't mean you can throw ridicule statements, assume your partner reads your mind all the time or ignore what the other routinely says. To maintain effective communication in the family, pay attention to what your partner says or doesn't say. Exchange both your serious and nonsense ideas and share how things are going at the workplace. Your partner must know what's within you for a better understanding.
A successful marriage doesn't mean having less number of troubles. The maturity of a couple can be measured on how well they can overcome their problems, how they strengthen their relationship and how they improve through each other's support. Unfortunately, some couples just give up the fight without living the words of Doug Larson: More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
If your spouse keeps pointing at your mistakes and make a fuss out of it, he/she maybe try to cover something else; learn to notice [http://takinganexback.com/signs-of-a-cheater/]signs of a cheater and you might find the real cause of it. At some point, you might be decide that it's enough. When is that? Read some considerations at [http://takinganexback.com/when-to-divorce/]when to divorce.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Stop-Marriage-Fighting---Know-the-Roots&id=6650772] How to Stop Marriage Fighting - Know the Roots
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Use Teamwork To Save Your Marriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Adam_K_B]Adam K B
Sometimes you are the only one that wants to save your marriage, that's ok, it is harder but can be done. Which is why if you can work with your spouse to save the marriage it will be much easier and become stronger in the end. During the process of reuniting and improving your relationship, there will be times where you will have to work alone. If you have a personal flaw that you need to fix, sometimes doing it alone works better, in a sense that you are the only one that can fix you. Sometimes you need others to help you realize a flaw, or to be there for support. But in the end, you need to be the one to make the change. So where does teamwork come in?
Instead of taking out your frustration on your spouse by using anger, or picking little fights, try to take it out by just explaining your feelings. And if you are in the position where your spouse is taking out frustrations on you, don't react to them. Allow them to finish their venting episode, and move on, do not react. Afterwords they will feel bad and apologize for their behaviour. You have just worked together to avoid a fight, and prevent hurtful words being exchanged. It can be that easy. Doing this every time, will eventually get you both into a habit of properly communicating your thoughts and feelings before an explosion happens. And you both will carry less stress around. In the end, saving a marriage by doing this, is one of the small things that can make a world of difference!
In today's society, teamwork between a husband and wife is more important that ever. This is because it now (on average) takes two people to sustain a stable financial situation, two people to raise children, two people to do household chores and errands. The bottom line is that it takes two. Divorce is so high because we are trying to do everything solo, yet if we simple offered to help, or asked for help it can do so much for you. In your marriage, try splitting up chores, and errands. Try and to do this together so that the end result works out for both of you. By working together to have a great life will go a lot farther that you trying to be a one person show.
If you enjoyed this you might be interested in other articles written about different ways to learn [http://www.howtosaveamarriagereview.com]how to save a marriage. You can visit my website where I provide multiple resources from experts across North America. They all provide proven methods that you can use to start [http://www.howtosaveamarriagereview.com]saving your marriage.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Use-Teamwork-To-Save-Your-Marriage&id=6642242] Use Teamwork To Save Your Marriage
Sometimes you are the only one that wants to save your marriage, that's ok, it is harder but can be done. Which is why if you can work with your spouse to save the marriage it will be much easier and become stronger in the end. During the process of reuniting and improving your relationship, there will be times where you will have to work alone. If you have a personal flaw that you need to fix, sometimes doing it alone works better, in a sense that you are the only one that can fix you. Sometimes you need others to help you realize a flaw, or to be there for support. But in the end, you need to be the one to make the change. So where does teamwork come in?
Instead of taking out your frustration on your spouse by using anger, or picking little fights, try to take it out by just explaining your feelings. And if you are in the position where your spouse is taking out frustrations on you, don't react to them. Allow them to finish their venting episode, and move on, do not react. Afterwords they will feel bad and apologize for their behaviour. You have just worked together to avoid a fight, and prevent hurtful words being exchanged. It can be that easy. Doing this every time, will eventually get you both into a habit of properly communicating your thoughts and feelings before an explosion happens. And you both will carry less stress around. In the end, saving a marriage by doing this, is one of the small things that can make a world of difference!
In today's society, teamwork between a husband and wife is more important that ever. This is because it now (on average) takes two people to sustain a stable financial situation, two people to raise children, two people to do household chores and errands. The bottom line is that it takes two. Divorce is so high because we are trying to do everything solo, yet if we simple offered to help, or asked for help it can do so much for you. In your marriage, try splitting up chores, and errands. Try and to do this together so that the end result works out for both of you. By working together to have a great life will go a lot farther that you trying to be a one person show.
If you enjoyed this you might be interested in other articles written about different ways to learn [http://www.howtosaveamarriagereview.com]how to save a marriage. You can visit my website where I provide multiple resources from experts across North America. They all provide proven methods that you can use to start [http://www.howtosaveamarriagereview.com]saving your marriage.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Use-Teamwork-To-Save-Your-Marriage&id=6642242] Use Teamwork To Save Your Marriage
Friday, November 25, 2011
Catastrophic Thinking and Marital Problems
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Cedric_Benson]Cedric Benson
When people assume the worst, they can actually make the worst a self-fulfilling prophecy. Catastrophic thinking negatively impacts a marriage in several ways. It is important to learn to recognize any catastrophic thoughts you may have and how to replace them with more realistic thoughts.
No one has a crystal ball that can accurately predict the future. However, people who tend to have catastrophic thoughts predict that something bad will happen. Catastrophic thinking can become a bad habit for some people, and often, they aren't even aware that they are doing it.
Jeremy's catastrophic thoughts drove his wife, Angela, crazy. She said that when they were tight on money he started talking about bankruptcy. When they argued, he would say he just knows they'll get divorced. When she doesn't want to go fishing with him, he says they are growing apart. When he suspects his company is having financial problems, he talks about getting laid off. Jeremy's thoughts show a pattern of catastrophic thinking.
Catastrophic thoughts can have other negative effects, besides just annoying your partner. If you expect something bad happen, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is because people's behaviors change based on their thoughts.
When Jeremy starts to envision that his family is going to go bankrupt, he starts putting less effort into saving money and paying the bills. When he presumes that he and Angela will get divorced, he puts less effort into solving their problems. He figures, "why bother if it will end in divorce no matter what?" He puts less effort into his job when he thinks he will get laid off. In fact, he starts using some of his work hours to look for jobs online. This increases the likelihood that he may actually be fired from his job.
When people are always looking out for the worst case scenario, they often look for more evidence that supports their theory. For example, if Jeremy believes that he and Angela will get divorced, he reinforces this thought whenever they argue. He views any disagreements as further evidence that their marriage is ending.
Catastrophic thinking also makes people ignore contrary evidence. Whenever Jeremy and his wife are getting along well he doesn't really notice. When they solve problems easily, he brushes it off. When they do have enough money to pay the bills he doesn't pay attention or attributes it to "good luck this month." He only pays attention to the things that he uses to support his thoughts.
People often tend to have catastrophic thoughts due to unresolved issues from the past. Past hurts can often lead people to think it is safer to expect the worst rather than hope for the best. Attitudes such as "nothing good ever happens to me" or "people who love me always leave" often cause catastrophic thoughts.
Jeremy had grown up with a single mother and money was always tight. He had been told from a young age, "your father abandoned us." He was bullied at school for his small stature. He dropped out of high school before graduating because he wasn't doing well academically. As an adult, he felt like he was lucky to have found Angela but was always waiting for "the other shoe to drop." He knew that good things didn't seem to happen to him and felt he was destined to have a difficult life.
If you tend to have a lot of catastrophic thoughts, it is important to recognize them. This is a very important first step, as many people underestimate how catastrophic their thinking is. Then it is important to learn how to try and evaluate the truth more objectively. For example asking yourself, "If I missed one bill this month, what's the evidence that I'll go bankrupt?" and then ask, "what's the evidence that I won't go bankrupt?"
It can also be helpful to ask yourself, "what would I say to a friend who came to me with his problem?" Most people tend to much kinder to a friend than themselves. For example, if a friend said she missed paying a bill would you say to her, "You're going to go bankrupt now?" Probably not. Perhaps you'd say something more like, "everyone misses a bill every once in a while. It isn't the end of the world." Learn how to take your own advice.
If you have unresolved problems in your past, consider therapy as an option to help you overcome them. It is important to resolve past issues in order to help have a healthy relationship with your partner now. Couples counseling can also help you deal with catastrophic thoughts if they are impacting your marriage.
For information on acquiring help for your marital problems please visit [http://family-marriage-counseling.com/]http://family-marriage-counseling.com/.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Catastrophic-Thinking-and-Marital-Problems&id=6652509] Catastrophic Thinking and Marital Problems
When people assume the worst, they can actually make the worst a self-fulfilling prophecy. Catastrophic thinking negatively impacts a marriage in several ways. It is important to learn to recognize any catastrophic thoughts you may have and how to replace them with more realistic thoughts.
No one has a crystal ball that can accurately predict the future. However, people who tend to have catastrophic thoughts predict that something bad will happen. Catastrophic thinking can become a bad habit for some people, and often, they aren't even aware that they are doing it.
Jeremy's catastrophic thoughts drove his wife, Angela, crazy. She said that when they were tight on money he started talking about bankruptcy. When they argued, he would say he just knows they'll get divorced. When she doesn't want to go fishing with him, he says they are growing apart. When he suspects his company is having financial problems, he talks about getting laid off. Jeremy's thoughts show a pattern of catastrophic thinking.
Catastrophic thoughts can have other negative effects, besides just annoying your partner. If you expect something bad happen, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is because people's behaviors change based on their thoughts.
When Jeremy starts to envision that his family is going to go bankrupt, he starts putting less effort into saving money and paying the bills. When he presumes that he and Angela will get divorced, he puts less effort into solving their problems. He figures, "why bother if it will end in divorce no matter what?" He puts less effort into his job when he thinks he will get laid off. In fact, he starts using some of his work hours to look for jobs online. This increases the likelihood that he may actually be fired from his job.
When people are always looking out for the worst case scenario, they often look for more evidence that supports their theory. For example, if Jeremy believes that he and Angela will get divorced, he reinforces this thought whenever they argue. He views any disagreements as further evidence that their marriage is ending.
Catastrophic thinking also makes people ignore contrary evidence. Whenever Jeremy and his wife are getting along well he doesn't really notice. When they solve problems easily, he brushes it off. When they do have enough money to pay the bills he doesn't pay attention or attributes it to "good luck this month." He only pays attention to the things that he uses to support his thoughts.
People often tend to have catastrophic thoughts due to unresolved issues from the past. Past hurts can often lead people to think it is safer to expect the worst rather than hope for the best. Attitudes such as "nothing good ever happens to me" or "people who love me always leave" often cause catastrophic thoughts.
Jeremy had grown up with a single mother and money was always tight. He had been told from a young age, "your father abandoned us." He was bullied at school for his small stature. He dropped out of high school before graduating because he wasn't doing well academically. As an adult, he felt like he was lucky to have found Angela but was always waiting for "the other shoe to drop." He knew that good things didn't seem to happen to him and felt he was destined to have a difficult life.
If you tend to have a lot of catastrophic thoughts, it is important to recognize them. This is a very important first step, as many people underestimate how catastrophic their thinking is. Then it is important to learn how to try and evaluate the truth more objectively. For example asking yourself, "If I missed one bill this month, what's the evidence that I'll go bankrupt?" and then ask, "what's the evidence that I won't go bankrupt?"
It can also be helpful to ask yourself, "what would I say to a friend who came to me with his problem?" Most people tend to much kinder to a friend than themselves. For example, if a friend said she missed paying a bill would you say to her, "You're going to go bankrupt now?" Probably not. Perhaps you'd say something more like, "everyone misses a bill every once in a while. It isn't the end of the world." Learn how to take your own advice.
If you have unresolved problems in your past, consider therapy as an option to help you overcome them. It is important to resolve past issues in order to help have a healthy relationship with your partner now. Couples counseling can also help you deal with catastrophic thoughts if they are impacting your marriage.
For information on acquiring help for your marital problems please visit [http://family-marriage-counseling.com/]http://family-marriage-counseling.com/.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Catastrophic-Thinking-and-Marital-Problems&id=6652509] Catastrophic Thinking and Marital Problems
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tips That Can Save Your Marriage From Divorce
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Jennica_Grey]Jennica Grey
Nowadays, couples face divorce more often than ever. Here are some of the most common problems that are causes for divorce and tips on how to save your marriage from these common causes.
Career-centeredness / Overworking
Careers are often factors that undermine relationships. Insufficient commitment to your partner by being too busy to spend time with him or her, or lashing out on your partner due to problems at work are often the cause of alienation. It is very important that you spend as much time together as much as possible. When you do, don't talk about anything else expect you two and your feelings. Avoid topics that may cause an argument and do not trouble your partner. If you think that it is already too late for you, because you haven't devoted enough attention to him or her, remember that time heals all wounds. You need to persevere and be prepared to compromise.
Excessive competitiveness
A neighbor bought a new car, and so did you the next week, although in fact the old one had nothing missing. Did you ever do anything like that? Excessive competition and money spending can easily result in fights. Especially if something you bought prevented your partner from getting something he or she wanted or needed.
Sharing and decision-making are very important in marriage. Not only will your partner be aware that you care for his or her opinion, but you will also spend more time together, when purchasing a new car, on vacation... That time is precious, especially if you normally do not have much time for myself.
Divorcing is easy
Once, there was much less divorce and it was frowned upon by the society. Today, it is quite common. Divorce is accepted as the easiest option to solve the problem, not as a last resort. Friends, family members, and neighbors advised couples to stay in a relationship, today that is exactly the opposite. Friends many times support and encourage divorce. Anyway, think twice before divorcing. Is it because of the current feelings of anger, a problem your partner is experiencing or have you completely stopped loving him or her? Sometimes it turns out that with a little perseverance you can work the current issues out
The sexual revolution
Like divorce, cheating was once much more frowned upon. In most places in the world, people today do not dare to cheat the other person, but in some countries where there is no legal punishment for cheating, it spread rapidly. A man who does not cheat is considered a wimp in the modern world. You must know that it is rare for a couple to be able to bridge the gap between them after one of the people is known to have cheated. Even if you stay together, there will always be questions.
These reasons are one of the many who contribute to the high number of divorces. If you promise to, and do everything in your hands to prevent a divorce, you can still never be sure that you will succeed but you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried.
To learn more about the best ways to save marriage, go to WaysToSaveMarriage.net.
The site provides [http://waystosavemarriage.net/marriage-tips-advice]save marriage tips on how to deal with infidelity, and difficulties in [http://waystosavemarriage.net/finances-and-marriage]finances and marriage
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Tips-That-Can-Save-Your-Marriage-From-Divorce&id=6651627] Tips That Can Save Your Marriage From Divorce
Nowadays, couples face divorce more often than ever. Here are some of the most common problems that are causes for divorce and tips on how to save your marriage from these common causes.
Career-centeredness / Overworking
Careers are often factors that undermine relationships. Insufficient commitment to your partner by being too busy to spend time with him or her, or lashing out on your partner due to problems at work are often the cause of alienation. It is very important that you spend as much time together as much as possible. When you do, don't talk about anything else expect you two and your feelings. Avoid topics that may cause an argument and do not trouble your partner. If you think that it is already too late for you, because you haven't devoted enough attention to him or her, remember that time heals all wounds. You need to persevere and be prepared to compromise.
Excessive competitiveness
A neighbor bought a new car, and so did you the next week, although in fact the old one had nothing missing. Did you ever do anything like that? Excessive competition and money spending can easily result in fights. Especially if something you bought prevented your partner from getting something he or she wanted or needed.
Sharing and decision-making are very important in marriage. Not only will your partner be aware that you care for his or her opinion, but you will also spend more time together, when purchasing a new car, on vacation... That time is precious, especially if you normally do not have much time for myself.
Divorcing is easy
Once, there was much less divorce and it was frowned upon by the society. Today, it is quite common. Divorce is accepted as the easiest option to solve the problem, not as a last resort. Friends, family members, and neighbors advised couples to stay in a relationship, today that is exactly the opposite. Friends many times support and encourage divorce. Anyway, think twice before divorcing. Is it because of the current feelings of anger, a problem your partner is experiencing or have you completely stopped loving him or her? Sometimes it turns out that with a little perseverance you can work the current issues out
The sexual revolution
Like divorce, cheating was once much more frowned upon. In most places in the world, people today do not dare to cheat the other person, but in some countries where there is no legal punishment for cheating, it spread rapidly. A man who does not cheat is considered a wimp in the modern world. You must know that it is rare for a couple to be able to bridge the gap between them after one of the people is known to have cheated. Even if you stay together, there will always be questions.
These reasons are one of the many who contribute to the high number of divorces. If you promise to, and do everything in your hands to prevent a divorce, you can still never be sure that you will succeed but you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried.
To learn more about the best ways to save marriage, go to WaysToSaveMarriage.net.
The site provides [http://waystosavemarriage.net/marriage-tips-advice]save marriage tips on how to deal with infidelity, and difficulties in [http://waystosavemarriage.net/finances-and-marriage]finances and marriage
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Tips-That-Can-Save-Your-Marriage-From-Divorce&id=6651627] Tips That Can Save Your Marriage From Divorce
Monday, November 21, 2011
We're Separated And I Just Found Out My Husband Is Seeing Someone Else - What Now?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Leslie_Cane]Leslie Cane
I often hear from people (usually wives) who are beside themselves because they have recently learned that their separated spouse is seeing someone else. Often, they were still holding out some hope that they could save their marriage, so they aren't sure how to react to this.
I heard from a wife who said: "my husband asked for a separation about seven months ago. I definitely didn't want one, but I agreed to it only because it was clear that it was either going to be a separation or divorce. He's living in an apartment about five miles away. We're stayed in touch throughout this process. I was hoping we would go to counseling, but we haven't. All along, my husband has been very private about how he was living his life. When I would ask about his romantic life, he would make it clear that this topic is off limits. Yesterday, one of my friends called me and said that she saw my husband out on a date with someone else. When my friend approached him, he introduced her to this other woman as if it were the most natural thing in the world. What am I supposed to do now? I still want to save my marriage. But how is that going to be possible when there is a new woman in his life? Should I confront him? Should I pretend I have someone else to make him jealous? Should I try to break them up? What is the best way to handle this?"
I know that this can be a very challenging hurdle. But it's very important that you keep this in perspective and not overreact, which I will discuss below.
Don't Make His Seeing Someone Else More Than It Is: I know it's very easy to assume that once your husband begins dating again, you have lost him for good. But honestly, the wife in this situation didn't yet know how serious the relationship was. She didn't even know if what the friend witnessed was a romantic date. And even if it was, a date or two certainly doesn't mean that the husband was going to end up marrying the other woman. Plus, it's not unusual for husbands to make the attempt to start dating again only to come to the conclusion that no one holds a candle to his wife and that all these attempts at dating are really attempts to replace her - which isn't even possible.
But if you panic, overreact, suddenly start making all sorts of demands or begin behaving negatively then you actually decrease the odds of him realizing it's you he wants. So, to the extent that you can, try not to overreact and attempt to keep this in perspective. A couple of dates don't have to mean anything.
Should You Date In Order To Make Him Jealous? Should You Try To Break Them Up?: The wife in this situation was tempted to try to find out more about the other woman and then come up with a plan meant to break them up. This so rarely works out well. Often, the husband will end up resenting the intrusion and will end up defending her just to spite you. Really, you don't want to set it up so that you are on opposing sides of your husband.
The decision about dating someone else is one that you yourself will have to make. I was never able to do this because I was still very invested in my husband and in saving my marriage. I felt as if this would have been living a lie. I felt like it would not only fake posturing, but a bad idea as well. That's not to say that I didn't sometimes neglect to tell my husband where I was or who I was with so that he would wonder. But I always stopped short of claiming relationships that didn't exist.
How Are You Supposed To Save Your Marriage When He's Seeing Someone Else Or Starting To Date Again?: You have to see your marriage and his life outside of you as two separate things. You can't allow your own fears and insecurities to place a dark cloud over your interactions with your husband.
And even if he does have a life outside of your marriage, there will be times when you will need to interact with him. When this time comes, make sure you remain positive and upbeat. Make sure you are pleasurable to be around. And as tempting as it may be, do not dwell on or demand answers about the other person. It's very important that you make your interactions about the two of you - not about him and someone else. Give the impression that you are confident that he will eventually come to realize who and what he wants and that someone is going to be you.
I know that you may well doubt this right now, but believe me when I say it's somewhat rare for the first person a man dates during a separation to end up being "the one." And quite frankly, if you are able to reconnect with him during the separation and make small improvements that lead up to big ones, there's every chance that you are still "the one" for him. And if this is so, the natural progression of things is to save your marriage so that in the end, you don't even need to worry about her.
I had my suspicions that my husband was seeing other people during our separation. He would never admit to this and the thought of him with someone else drove me crazy. But it wasn't until I placed his focus on him and myself and stopped worrying so much about external factors that things began to change for the better. Because of my shift in focus, we eventually did [http://isavedmymarriage.com]save our marriage. You can read the whole emotional story on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Were-Separated-And-I-Just-Found-Out-My-Husband-Is-Seeing-Someone-Else---What-Now?&id=6653645] We're Separated And I Just Found Out My Husband Is Seeing Someone Else - What Now?
I often hear from people (usually wives) who are beside themselves because they have recently learned that their separated spouse is seeing someone else. Often, they were still holding out some hope that they could save their marriage, so they aren't sure how to react to this.
I heard from a wife who said: "my husband asked for a separation about seven months ago. I definitely didn't want one, but I agreed to it only because it was clear that it was either going to be a separation or divorce. He's living in an apartment about five miles away. We're stayed in touch throughout this process. I was hoping we would go to counseling, but we haven't. All along, my husband has been very private about how he was living his life. When I would ask about his romantic life, he would make it clear that this topic is off limits. Yesterday, one of my friends called me and said that she saw my husband out on a date with someone else. When my friend approached him, he introduced her to this other woman as if it were the most natural thing in the world. What am I supposed to do now? I still want to save my marriage. But how is that going to be possible when there is a new woman in his life? Should I confront him? Should I pretend I have someone else to make him jealous? Should I try to break them up? What is the best way to handle this?"
I know that this can be a very challenging hurdle. But it's very important that you keep this in perspective and not overreact, which I will discuss below.
Don't Make His Seeing Someone Else More Than It Is: I know it's very easy to assume that once your husband begins dating again, you have lost him for good. But honestly, the wife in this situation didn't yet know how serious the relationship was. She didn't even know if what the friend witnessed was a romantic date. And even if it was, a date or two certainly doesn't mean that the husband was going to end up marrying the other woman. Plus, it's not unusual for husbands to make the attempt to start dating again only to come to the conclusion that no one holds a candle to his wife and that all these attempts at dating are really attempts to replace her - which isn't even possible.
But if you panic, overreact, suddenly start making all sorts of demands or begin behaving negatively then you actually decrease the odds of him realizing it's you he wants. So, to the extent that you can, try not to overreact and attempt to keep this in perspective. A couple of dates don't have to mean anything.
Should You Date In Order To Make Him Jealous? Should You Try To Break Them Up?: The wife in this situation was tempted to try to find out more about the other woman and then come up with a plan meant to break them up. This so rarely works out well. Often, the husband will end up resenting the intrusion and will end up defending her just to spite you. Really, you don't want to set it up so that you are on opposing sides of your husband.
The decision about dating someone else is one that you yourself will have to make. I was never able to do this because I was still very invested in my husband and in saving my marriage. I felt as if this would have been living a lie. I felt like it would not only fake posturing, but a bad idea as well. That's not to say that I didn't sometimes neglect to tell my husband where I was or who I was with so that he would wonder. But I always stopped short of claiming relationships that didn't exist.
How Are You Supposed To Save Your Marriage When He's Seeing Someone Else Or Starting To Date Again?: You have to see your marriage and his life outside of you as two separate things. You can't allow your own fears and insecurities to place a dark cloud over your interactions with your husband.
And even if he does have a life outside of your marriage, there will be times when you will need to interact with him. When this time comes, make sure you remain positive and upbeat. Make sure you are pleasurable to be around. And as tempting as it may be, do not dwell on or demand answers about the other person. It's very important that you make your interactions about the two of you - not about him and someone else. Give the impression that you are confident that he will eventually come to realize who and what he wants and that someone is going to be you.
I know that you may well doubt this right now, but believe me when I say it's somewhat rare for the first person a man dates during a separation to end up being "the one." And quite frankly, if you are able to reconnect with him during the separation and make small improvements that lead up to big ones, there's every chance that you are still "the one" for him. And if this is so, the natural progression of things is to save your marriage so that in the end, you don't even need to worry about her.
I had my suspicions that my husband was seeing other people during our separation. He would never admit to this and the thought of him with someone else drove me crazy. But it wasn't until I placed his focus on him and myself and stopped worrying so much about external factors that things began to change for the better. Because of my shift in focus, we eventually did [http://isavedmymarriage.com]save our marriage. You can read the whole emotional story on my blog at [http://isavedmymarriage.com/]http://isavedmymarriage.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Were-Separated-And-I-Just-Found-Out-My-Husband-Is-Seeing-Someone-Else---What-Now?&id=6653645] We're Separated And I Just Found Out My Husband Is Seeing Someone Else - What Now?
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Ways You Can Tell If Marriage Counseling Will Work For You
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kristie_Brown]Kristie Brown
If you're finding your marriage to not be quite as satisfying as it once was, and if you've even been tempted to cheat on your spouse or seek a divorce, you well may be looking for magic answers that can repair your marriage as well as your spirits. You already know there are professional counselors out there who claim they can help you, but you know other couples who have tried counseling and found out it just didn't work for them. Before you spend the money investing in counseling sessions yourself which may or may not work, there are a few points you need to consider.
Certain scenarios will definitely tell you that counseling isn't going to help your marriage. Even though you really do need support from an outside party, if your spouse refuses to participate or is likely to give false information if he or she does take part in the sessions, then all the counseling in the world isn't going to save your marriage. Both of you need to actively participate and be truthful if the trained professional is going to be able to help you. If you feel that both you and your spouse are sincerely committed to righting the wrongs in your relationship, then it's a good time for you to seek counseling.
Prior to making an appointment with a counselor, you want to do some research into that person's background. Are they experienced? What is their success rate? If you run into a bad counselor or two, don't give up. There are lots of good ones out there, and if you keep trying, you will find one who can help. Friends, acquaintances, and relatives are often good sources of the information you are seeking. Since your marriage is already in trouble, you definitely don't want to add bad counseling to the mix.
Don't let the fact that you are unable to pay the $50 - $100 dollar per hour fee a counselor will charge discourage you. Counselors realize that not every couple who is having marital difficulties can afford to pay that much. To that end, many of them have written self-help books that couples can use to learn the techniques to save their marriages. You can even find numerous ebooks online that will give you the information you are seeking. Some of these ebooks are free, and others will cost you a small fee. Some even come with videos portraying the use of the various recommended techniques. It's going to take some hard work, but you can definitely save your marriage if you want it badly enough.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/media.html]marriage expert or here: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/media.html]relationship expert.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Ways-You-Can-Tell-If-Marriage-Counseling-Will-Work-For-You&id=6651510] Ways You Can Tell If Marriage Counseling Will Work For You
If you're finding your marriage to not be quite as satisfying as it once was, and if you've even been tempted to cheat on your spouse or seek a divorce, you well may be looking for magic answers that can repair your marriage as well as your spirits. You already know there are professional counselors out there who claim they can help you, but you know other couples who have tried counseling and found out it just didn't work for them. Before you spend the money investing in counseling sessions yourself which may or may not work, there are a few points you need to consider.
Certain scenarios will definitely tell you that counseling isn't going to help your marriage. Even though you really do need support from an outside party, if your spouse refuses to participate or is likely to give false information if he or she does take part in the sessions, then all the counseling in the world isn't going to save your marriage. Both of you need to actively participate and be truthful if the trained professional is going to be able to help you. If you feel that both you and your spouse are sincerely committed to righting the wrongs in your relationship, then it's a good time for you to seek counseling.
Prior to making an appointment with a counselor, you want to do some research into that person's background. Are they experienced? What is their success rate? If you run into a bad counselor or two, don't give up. There are lots of good ones out there, and if you keep trying, you will find one who can help. Friends, acquaintances, and relatives are often good sources of the information you are seeking. Since your marriage is already in trouble, you definitely don't want to add bad counseling to the mix.
Don't let the fact that you are unable to pay the $50 - $100 dollar per hour fee a counselor will charge discourage you. Counselors realize that not every couple who is having marital difficulties can afford to pay that much. To that end, many of them have written self-help books that couples can use to learn the techniques to save their marriages. You can even find numerous ebooks online that will give you the information you are seeking. Some of these ebooks are free, and others will cost you a small fee. Some even come with videos portraying the use of the various recommended techniques. It's going to take some hard work, but you can definitely save your marriage if you want it badly enough.
Get 8 hours of live marriage coaching and proven marriage advice that really works at: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/media.html]marriage expert or here: [http://youcansavethismarriage.com/media.html]relationship expert.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Ways-You-Can-Tell-If-Marriage-Counseling-Will-Work-For-You&id=6651510] Ways You Can Tell If Marriage Counseling Will Work For You
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Marriage or Divorce?
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Daveda_Gruber]Daveda Gruber
Marriage is the unity of two people. I am married for the third time. I sometimes wonder if marriage is right for me. Three strikes and you are out, maybe it applies. I am not getting divorced but I am concerned.
My first marriage was a disaster. My husband was physically abusive. He hurt me many times. I will not mention his name but he is a public figure living in the Bahamas so he doesn't have to pay income tax. We were married for ten years and had one child very early in the marriage. She is now dead.
My eldest daughter saw far too much abuse and her father lied to her after the divorce and made her believe that I did not really love her. I found out from her after she was eighteen that her father has sexually abused her at the age of seventeen. I wanted to press charges against him but my daughter had a fit and said she would testify that I was lying.
Lanie, my daughter got into an abusive relationship. This time it was mentally abusive with a man old enough to be her father. I rescued her and brought her to live with me. I had divorced my second husband by then.
I guess you could say that my second husband appeared to be a good man. Slowly, he started to ignore me and did not want intimate relations since I had said no to anymore children. My second daughter was born when I was thirty-eight and my son was born sixteen months later. He then told me not to wait to eat dinner with him. He would rather read a book while eating. He preferred that to my company.
That marriage ended and my younger children were poisoned by the way my second ex-husband spoke of me. He is a lawyer and got joint custody.
Sometimes I think back and wonder if I just should have stuck with the marriage until the children were eighteen and I had instilled certain virtues in their lives. That fact will probably stay with me until I die because my children want nothing to do with me. Why should they? 'Mr. Lawyer' has the money to pay for the top university for them and supply them with expensive cars. I could not have done that on my own. Isn't that the way our youth thinks? Well my younger two do and the eldest took her own life because of deeds her father had done.
That leads me to my third marriage. I left Canada and became a resident, then a permanent resident and finally a citizen of the United States to be married to this man. I sold my house and left my friends and family. I brought money into my new marriage. You would think that would make my husband a happy man.
This third husband gets involved in his own thoughts and I have been called just a (insert 'bad word' here) Canadian. I am an American now. He did not comfort me when my mother died this past June. By the way, he did not love his mother. He has blamed the fact that she was in a wheel chair and not opted for surgery on his father's death. Once in a while he'll be sorry about how he treats me and hug me and say, "Let's start all over from now."
'Now' does not last long. He says I act like a man. I believe that if I do not agree with him, he feels I am acting tough. He wants to be manly and talk above me at times. He will interrupt me and just talk. He talks to our cleaning lady and I want her to clean. If I make a comment to him on that issue he yells at me saying, "I pay for her to clean; I'll talk as much as I want!"
I have looked up bi-polar and that seems to sum up what my husband is. His behavior is not normal. I don't believe that one leaves a spouse because of an illness. Now, it is up to me to convince him that he has a problem. I have already seen a list of his abnormalities on his desk. Maybe he is looking them up.
My husband speaks kindly to everyone in our lives. I am the only one who he is not nice to most of the time. Well, maybe I am feeling sorry for myself, some of the time may be more correct. Could it be I am just feeling sorry for him? You never know.
This game of marriage can be very tricky. I feel like I should have waited on the second divorce and now I am very hesitant about divorce in general. I am sick of starting all over. I have done it too many times. Now I have become the kind of wife who just disappears into her work and if I hear bad remarks I brush them off my shoulder unless I am writing about them.
I am the owner of Publishing with Passion and Poetry with Passion as well as, author of fifteen books including: "My Blonde World," "Magical Moments," "Bruised but Not Beaten," "Death of a Daughter," "Steelers Cheers," "Red Barn and Other Short Stories," "Cling to the Magic Mere Mortals," "The Blonde Who Found Jesus," "A Blonde View of Life," "Tales of a Tiny Dog," "More Tales of a Tiny Dog," "Castle of Ice," "More Snapshots from my Family Album" and "Snapshots a Blonde View." I am a professional graphic art designer and I produce professional video productions and design websites. http://davedagruber.com http://publishingwithpassion.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Marriage-or-Divorce?&id=6644239] Marriage or Divorce?
Marriage is the unity of two people. I am married for the third time. I sometimes wonder if marriage is right for me. Three strikes and you are out, maybe it applies. I am not getting divorced but I am concerned.
My first marriage was a disaster. My husband was physically abusive. He hurt me many times. I will not mention his name but he is a public figure living in the Bahamas so he doesn't have to pay income tax. We were married for ten years and had one child very early in the marriage. She is now dead.
My eldest daughter saw far too much abuse and her father lied to her after the divorce and made her believe that I did not really love her. I found out from her after she was eighteen that her father has sexually abused her at the age of seventeen. I wanted to press charges against him but my daughter had a fit and said she would testify that I was lying.
Lanie, my daughter got into an abusive relationship. This time it was mentally abusive with a man old enough to be her father. I rescued her and brought her to live with me. I had divorced my second husband by then.
I guess you could say that my second husband appeared to be a good man. Slowly, he started to ignore me and did not want intimate relations since I had said no to anymore children. My second daughter was born when I was thirty-eight and my son was born sixteen months later. He then told me not to wait to eat dinner with him. He would rather read a book while eating. He preferred that to my company.
That marriage ended and my younger children were poisoned by the way my second ex-husband spoke of me. He is a lawyer and got joint custody.
Sometimes I think back and wonder if I just should have stuck with the marriage until the children were eighteen and I had instilled certain virtues in their lives. That fact will probably stay with me until I die because my children want nothing to do with me. Why should they? 'Mr. Lawyer' has the money to pay for the top university for them and supply them with expensive cars. I could not have done that on my own. Isn't that the way our youth thinks? Well my younger two do and the eldest took her own life because of deeds her father had done.
That leads me to my third marriage. I left Canada and became a resident, then a permanent resident and finally a citizen of the United States to be married to this man. I sold my house and left my friends and family. I brought money into my new marriage. You would think that would make my husband a happy man.
This third husband gets involved in his own thoughts and I have been called just a (insert 'bad word' here) Canadian. I am an American now. He did not comfort me when my mother died this past June. By the way, he did not love his mother. He has blamed the fact that she was in a wheel chair and not opted for surgery on his father's death. Once in a while he'll be sorry about how he treats me and hug me and say, "Let's start all over from now."
'Now' does not last long. He says I act like a man. I believe that if I do not agree with him, he feels I am acting tough. He wants to be manly and talk above me at times. He will interrupt me and just talk. He talks to our cleaning lady and I want her to clean. If I make a comment to him on that issue he yells at me saying, "I pay for her to clean; I'll talk as much as I want!"
I have looked up bi-polar and that seems to sum up what my husband is. His behavior is not normal. I don't believe that one leaves a spouse because of an illness. Now, it is up to me to convince him that he has a problem. I have already seen a list of his abnormalities on his desk. Maybe he is looking them up.
My husband speaks kindly to everyone in our lives. I am the only one who he is not nice to most of the time. Well, maybe I am feeling sorry for myself, some of the time may be more correct. Could it be I am just feeling sorry for him? You never know.
This game of marriage can be very tricky. I feel like I should have waited on the second divorce and now I am very hesitant about divorce in general. I am sick of starting all over. I have done it too many times. Now I have become the kind of wife who just disappears into her work and if I hear bad remarks I brush them off my shoulder unless I am writing about them.
I am the owner of Publishing with Passion and Poetry with Passion as well as, author of fifteen books including: "My Blonde World," "Magical Moments," "Bruised but Not Beaten," "Death of a Daughter," "Steelers Cheers," "Red Barn and Other Short Stories," "Cling to the Magic Mere Mortals," "The Blonde Who Found Jesus," "A Blonde View of Life," "Tales of a Tiny Dog," "More Tales of a Tiny Dog," "Castle of Ice," "More Snapshots from my Family Album" and "Snapshots a Blonde View." I am a professional graphic art designer and I produce professional video productions and design websites. http://davedagruber.com http://publishingwithpassion.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Marriage-or-Divorce?&id=6644239] Marriage or Divorce?
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Cow-Chip Throwing And Relevancy In A Good Marriage
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Lon_Roland]Lon Roland
Whether you are tossing around the old manure or just flinging the bull... in a good marriage... something is bound to grow. Of course that can be a good or a bad thing.
"It's a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as long as he can."�George Bernard Shaw
What is marriage or in this case what is the agronomy of a good marriage that continues to grow. Just like a well placed or designed garden, you need a good catalyst or fertilizer properly administered to get those blooming good results.
The showpiece of a well groomed paradise doesn't take a lot, but the fact is that you do need something to make certain things happen. In a marriage it's no different for making the relationship thrive and grow to it's full potential. After all, our end result is to bear much fruit... the good stuff that keeps on producing year after year. Much like our 30 plus years thus far.
Now, as far as the cow-chip throwing part goes, it's like any good thing you do in the world of gardening... you gotta get down and into the heart of the matter with getting your hands into it.
Whoa there big fella you say. Are you saying get your hands into cow-chips? What's going on here? How does this apply to what a marriage is?
Don't let me lose you here.
Tossing or throwing cow-chips was a fun thing to do as kid in a part of the country that boasted a lot of dairies and dairy cows.
No, I was not raised on a farm and there is certainly nothing wrong with being a farmer and raising and milking dairy cows or any other cow that produces a nice flat chip for throwing. It's precisely thinking like that that can cause problems in a marriage... but I digress.
Whether making mud pies after a spring rain or having crawdad (crayfish) races or tossing cow-chips... as a young inventor of playtime fun left to his own devices...let's just say you find things to do to occupy your time and talents. And cow-chip throwing was just one of those things.
Ha!... now it's a "sport" at county fairs and such and right up there with spittin' watermelon seeds!
As they say... if you haven't tried it... don't knock it. The same with a good marriage.
Whether you're slinging the bull and doing all the bad stuff that gets you into total conflict all the time with your spouse or just having fun and playfully tossing cow-chips, it does take a special art or talent to handle the manure that comes into the marriage picture.
You take that same manure and spread it around your garden paradise and carefully plant what you want to grow, you will be very pleasantly surprised at the things that comprise you marital estate.
When you or anyone else looks upon your garden of a marriage and all the nurturing that you've put into it, you and they will see and understand the things that it took to grow it the way it was intended.
Now. About cow-chip tea. Don't even get me started!
-Lon-
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Cow-Chip-Throwing-And-Relevancy-In-A-Good-Marriage&id=6644072] Cow-Chip Throwing And Relevancy In A Good Marriage
Whether you are tossing around the old manure or just flinging the bull... in a good marriage... something is bound to grow. Of course that can be a good or a bad thing.
"It's a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a man's to keep unmarried as long as he can."�George Bernard Shaw
What is marriage or in this case what is the agronomy of a good marriage that continues to grow. Just like a well placed or designed garden, you need a good catalyst or fertilizer properly administered to get those blooming good results.
The showpiece of a well groomed paradise doesn't take a lot, but the fact is that you do need something to make certain things happen. In a marriage it's no different for making the relationship thrive and grow to it's full potential. After all, our end result is to bear much fruit... the good stuff that keeps on producing year after year. Much like our 30 plus years thus far.
Now, as far as the cow-chip throwing part goes, it's like any good thing you do in the world of gardening... you gotta get down and into the heart of the matter with getting your hands into it.
Whoa there big fella you say. Are you saying get your hands into cow-chips? What's going on here? How does this apply to what a marriage is?
Don't let me lose you here.
Tossing or throwing cow-chips was a fun thing to do as kid in a part of the country that boasted a lot of dairies and dairy cows.
No, I was not raised on a farm and there is certainly nothing wrong with being a farmer and raising and milking dairy cows or any other cow that produces a nice flat chip for throwing. It's precisely thinking like that that can cause problems in a marriage... but I digress.
Whether making mud pies after a spring rain or having crawdad (crayfish) races or tossing cow-chips... as a young inventor of playtime fun left to his own devices...let's just say you find things to do to occupy your time and talents. And cow-chip throwing was just one of those things.
Ha!... now it's a "sport" at county fairs and such and right up there with spittin' watermelon seeds!
As they say... if you haven't tried it... don't knock it. The same with a good marriage.
Whether you're slinging the bull and doing all the bad stuff that gets you into total conflict all the time with your spouse or just having fun and playfully tossing cow-chips, it does take a special art or talent to handle the manure that comes into the marriage picture.
You take that same manure and spread it around your garden paradise and carefully plant what you want to grow, you will be very pleasantly surprised at the things that comprise you marital estate.
When you or anyone else looks upon your garden of a marriage and all the nurturing that you've put into it, you and they will see and understand the things that it took to grow it the way it was intended.
Now. About cow-chip tea. Don't even get me started!
-Lon-
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Cow-Chip-Throwing-And-Relevancy-In-A-Good-Marriage&id=6644072] Cow-Chip Throwing And Relevancy In A Good Marriage
Sunday, November 13, 2011
What Complaints Husbands Have About Their Wives - Survey Results
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Benson_Ndaji]Benson Ndaji
God who established this age-long relationship called marriage did not make any mistake. Rather He saw the rich benefits and made this relationship to exist. Whatever that has been going wrong in this relationship is the fault of man. God knows what is good for His creations. It is the fall of Adam that brought complexities in man such that what should have been a simple matter is made to look complex by man. And what should have been taken as a non-issue is made to be an issue by man.
When I say "man" I also include woman. It is man that is creating a lot of problems for himself.
But funny enough we can see that even if a man decides not to marry, he cannot say he has nothing to do with a woman in whatever form. In the same vein, if a woman decides not to marry, she cannot say she has nothing to do with a man in whatever relationship. That is why you still see single ladies having children. It is still men that make them pregnant. That proves to us that the purpose of God in creating man and woman is a perfect one.
Experience has shown that the problems emanating from marriages seem to be unending, surfacing from time to time in different ways and from different families, and from the surveys conducted, many of the problems seem to lie unsolved or they are swept under the carpet. Thus making many spouses to be suffering in silence just for there to be peace especially in African environment.
This leads us to various complaints that husbands make about their wives. I will touch them one by one here so that wives should take note and make adjustments and changes where necessary. Wives also have their own complaints about their husbands but let us discuss first what husbands complain about their wives.
But we should take note that not every woman is guilty of the complaints made against them.
Below are the major complaints of husbands against their wives:
1. Making and keeping bad friends.
Many husbands attribute certain actions, attitudes and behaviors of their wives to making and keeping bad friends.
They complain that their wives that had been good initially, suddenly changed and became different persons altogether. Their characters have changed. Their behaviors and attitudes have changed due to bad advice from friends they keep. As a matter of fact, women are said to be easily vulnerable to swaying to outside influence. They are easily convinced. Because of that nature in them, you see them taking advice from bad friends. Even in fashion and dressing, they easily copy from their fellow women without knowing the motives behind certain fashions and the consequences of such.
Wives should avoid keeping bad friends. If a wife must keep friends, they must be friends of good repute, friends that give them good advice on how to live peacefully with their husbands and their family in general. They should make friends that advise them to be loyal to their husbands.
2. Love and care for their extended family members. (Extended family system is more pronounced in Africa).
It is not in dispute that most wives in this type of family system show more love to their own extended family members more than the family members of their husbands.
This is one of the complaints of many husbands against their wives. Salaries and incomes of many wives, they say, are meant exclusively for their extended family members only, even to the detriment of their own nuclear families.
They see no reason why they should extend their largesse to the extended family of their husbands even if they are dying. Yet they claim they love their husbands. Many wives would even like to bring in their own extended family members to live with them, but would not want any members from their husbands' extended families to come to them. They will give better attention, better food to their own relatives, but not to their husbands' relatives.
Wives should take note that this attitude is not godly no matter the excuses adduced. It shows lack of love for their husbands. You would not say you love your husband, yet you hate his relatives or extended family members.
3. Uncleanliness and Disorderliness.
Little things that matter are in most cases ignored either deliberately or out of ignorance. That is how it is with many wives, as their husbands complain. They ignore their appearances in the house not minding how their husbands feel. Many wives, because they are now married and probably have got children, see no need to keep clean anymore. They see no need to keep attracting their husbands again and in so doing become repulsive and unattractive to their husbands.
Thus, driving away their husbands away from them, probably without even realizing what they are doing. Their attention will now be focused on their children with little or none to their husbands as if their children are only what they come for in the marriage. But when their husbands begin to stay away from them to another women because of their unattractive posture, they would begin to complain.
Some wives keep their houses in disorder and untidy.
No husband would like to see his house in disorder and untidy. No husband would like to see his wife unclean or dirty.
Wives should know that keeping themselves clean and tidy and well dressed, will attract the interest and attention of their husbands, but keeping themselves unclean and untidy will be repulsive to their husbands.
4. Unnecessary Suspicion of husbands over money matters and opposite sex.
Many husbands complain that their wives suspect them unnecessarily over money matters and over opposite sex. They claim that most of the suspicions are uncalled for. Their wives' reasons for suspecting them are that they, as their husbands, might be using their money for their own relatives alone, or for womanizing, for gambling, for pools betting, for alcoholic drinks and other generous gifts they give to other people, especially the opposite sex. They suspect them when they greet some of the opposite sex they are acquainted with, whom their wives may or might not know very well.
Their husbands are saying that even when their wives know that they don't womanize, nor take alcohol nor move any how, yet they still suspect them unnecessarily.
Their wives don't want them to spend for their own (husbands') relatives. They don't want them to spend for those who are in need or for those who need their help. They attribute this attitude to selfishness on the part of their wives.
Wives should understand that no man is an island. And no family is an island either. "Do unto others as you would want others to do for you," says the scriptures. If you don't want your husband to help those who may need your help, when the table turns against you, nobody will help you.
Unnecessary suspicion of husbands over money matters and opposite sex should by all means be avoided or stopped.
5. Betting with sex and lack of response to romantic approaches.
Many husbands complain about their wives betting with sex. That is, telling their husbands that unless they do one thing or the other for them or unless they buy one thing or the other for them, there would be no sex with their husbands, thereby using what belongs to the husband for betting. They forget that this type of action or attitude puts their husbands into temptation and frustration. They also forget that their bodies now belong wholly to their husbands. They also forget the Biblical injunction in 1 Corinthians 7: 4-5a which says, "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time" (King James Version).
This means that wives should note that their bodies are now for their husbands and should not use them for betting.
Another worrisome attitude or behavior, according to some husbands, is the situation where many wives would not respond to the romantic approaches of their husbands. When their husbands' hands touch them, they would behave as if their husbands' hands are full of thorns. Sometimes they would push their husbands away with all seriousness. And this causes frustration to their husbands. This is not only frustrating, but also annoying and is capable of driving their husbands away from their homes. Further still, while in bed with their husbands, some wives would stay like logs of wood when having sex with their husbands. There would not be appropriate responses to their husbands touches which are expected from them. This makes many husbands to suffer in silence.
This is a very serious matter that wives should not allow to continue. By doing this you are driving your husbands away from you and your families. You are driving them away to other women.
6. Nagging.
Nagging can be frustrating. Nagging can be repulsive. Nagging can drive a husband away from his wife. Nagging is a disease that can eat away the happiness and joy of spouses. Nagging can cause marriage breakdowns. It can strain spouses' relationships.
What is nagging?
Nagging is the act of complaining about or criticizing or worrying somebody continuously and in the process gets his or her mind hurt.
Nagging is said to be common among women although some women allege that their husbands do also nag. Many husbands have complained bitterly about their wives' nagging. Nagging does not breed love; rather it breeds hatred. Many wives claim that nagging is not without a cause. They try to justify their nagging by saying that it is their husbands' refusal to change for better that make them to nag. Although what they are saying may be true, that does not justify their nagging.
It is argued that the manner of approach matters and that wives should adopt appropriate ways of approaching their husbands for a change such as dialogues and bed talks.
There are other complaints of husbands against their wives but the ones enumerated and explained above are the major ones, according to the survey carried out.
Wives should therefore study them, take note of them and make some positive and appropriate changes. [http://www.happylifebooks.com] http://beneficialproductsmarketing.blogspot.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Complaints-Husbands-Have-About-Their-Wives---Survey-Results&id=6372924] What Complaints Husbands Have About Their Wives - Survey Results
God who established this age-long relationship called marriage did not make any mistake. Rather He saw the rich benefits and made this relationship to exist. Whatever that has been going wrong in this relationship is the fault of man. God knows what is good for His creations. It is the fall of Adam that brought complexities in man such that what should have been a simple matter is made to look complex by man. And what should have been taken as a non-issue is made to be an issue by man.
When I say "man" I also include woman. It is man that is creating a lot of problems for himself.
But funny enough we can see that even if a man decides not to marry, he cannot say he has nothing to do with a woman in whatever form. In the same vein, if a woman decides not to marry, she cannot say she has nothing to do with a man in whatever relationship. That is why you still see single ladies having children. It is still men that make them pregnant. That proves to us that the purpose of God in creating man and woman is a perfect one.
Experience has shown that the problems emanating from marriages seem to be unending, surfacing from time to time in different ways and from different families, and from the surveys conducted, many of the problems seem to lie unsolved or they are swept under the carpet. Thus making many spouses to be suffering in silence just for there to be peace especially in African environment.
This leads us to various complaints that husbands make about their wives. I will touch them one by one here so that wives should take note and make adjustments and changes where necessary. Wives also have their own complaints about their husbands but let us discuss first what husbands complain about their wives.
But we should take note that not every woman is guilty of the complaints made against them.
Below are the major complaints of husbands against their wives:
1. Making and keeping bad friends.
Many husbands attribute certain actions, attitudes and behaviors of their wives to making and keeping bad friends.
They complain that their wives that had been good initially, suddenly changed and became different persons altogether. Their characters have changed. Their behaviors and attitudes have changed due to bad advice from friends they keep. As a matter of fact, women are said to be easily vulnerable to swaying to outside influence. They are easily convinced. Because of that nature in them, you see them taking advice from bad friends. Even in fashion and dressing, they easily copy from their fellow women without knowing the motives behind certain fashions and the consequences of such.
Wives should avoid keeping bad friends. If a wife must keep friends, they must be friends of good repute, friends that give them good advice on how to live peacefully with their husbands and their family in general. They should make friends that advise them to be loyal to their husbands.
2. Love and care for their extended family members. (Extended family system is more pronounced in Africa).
It is not in dispute that most wives in this type of family system show more love to their own extended family members more than the family members of their husbands.
This is one of the complaints of many husbands against their wives. Salaries and incomes of many wives, they say, are meant exclusively for their extended family members only, even to the detriment of their own nuclear families.
They see no reason why they should extend their largesse to the extended family of their husbands even if they are dying. Yet they claim they love their husbands. Many wives would even like to bring in their own extended family members to live with them, but would not want any members from their husbands' extended families to come to them. They will give better attention, better food to their own relatives, but not to their husbands' relatives.
Wives should take note that this attitude is not godly no matter the excuses adduced. It shows lack of love for their husbands. You would not say you love your husband, yet you hate his relatives or extended family members.
3. Uncleanliness and Disorderliness.
Little things that matter are in most cases ignored either deliberately or out of ignorance. That is how it is with many wives, as their husbands complain. They ignore their appearances in the house not minding how their husbands feel. Many wives, because they are now married and probably have got children, see no need to keep clean anymore. They see no need to keep attracting their husbands again and in so doing become repulsive and unattractive to their husbands.
Thus, driving away their husbands away from them, probably without even realizing what they are doing. Their attention will now be focused on their children with little or none to their husbands as if their children are only what they come for in the marriage. But when their husbands begin to stay away from them to another women because of their unattractive posture, they would begin to complain.
Some wives keep their houses in disorder and untidy.
No husband would like to see his house in disorder and untidy. No husband would like to see his wife unclean or dirty.
Wives should know that keeping themselves clean and tidy and well dressed, will attract the interest and attention of their husbands, but keeping themselves unclean and untidy will be repulsive to their husbands.
4. Unnecessary Suspicion of husbands over money matters and opposite sex.
Many husbands complain that their wives suspect them unnecessarily over money matters and over opposite sex. They claim that most of the suspicions are uncalled for. Their wives' reasons for suspecting them are that they, as their husbands, might be using their money for their own relatives alone, or for womanizing, for gambling, for pools betting, for alcoholic drinks and other generous gifts they give to other people, especially the opposite sex. They suspect them when they greet some of the opposite sex they are acquainted with, whom their wives may or might not know very well.
Their husbands are saying that even when their wives know that they don't womanize, nor take alcohol nor move any how, yet they still suspect them unnecessarily.
Their wives don't want them to spend for their own (husbands') relatives. They don't want them to spend for those who are in need or for those who need their help. They attribute this attitude to selfishness on the part of their wives.
Wives should understand that no man is an island. And no family is an island either. "Do unto others as you would want others to do for you," says the scriptures. If you don't want your husband to help those who may need your help, when the table turns against you, nobody will help you.
Unnecessary suspicion of husbands over money matters and opposite sex should by all means be avoided or stopped.
5. Betting with sex and lack of response to romantic approaches.
Many husbands complain about their wives betting with sex. That is, telling their husbands that unless they do one thing or the other for them or unless they buy one thing or the other for them, there would be no sex with their husbands, thereby using what belongs to the husband for betting. They forget that this type of action or attitude puts their husbands into temptation and frustration. They also forget that their bodies now belong wholly to their husbands. They also forget the Biblical injunction in 1 Corinthians 7: 4-5a which says, "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time" (King James Version).
This means that wives should note that their bodies are now for their husbands and should not use them for betting.
Another worrisome attitude or behavior, according to some husbands, is the situation where many wives would not respond to the romantic approaches of their husbands. When their husbands' hands touch them, they would behave as if their husbands' hands are full of thorns. Sometimes they would push their husbands away with all seriousness. And this causes frustration to their husbands. This is not only frustrating, but also annoying and is capable of driving their husbands away from their homes. Further still, while in bed with their husbands, some wives would stay like logs of wood when having sex with their husbands. There would not be appropriate responses to their husbands touches which are expected from them. This makes many husbands to suffer in silence.
This is a very serious matter that wives should not allow to continue. By doing this you are driving your husbands away from you and your families. You are driving them away to other women.
6. Nagging.
Nagging can be frustrating. Nagging can be repulsive. Nagging can drive a husband away from his wife. Nagging is a disease that can eat away the happiness and joy of spouses. Nagging can cause marriage breakdowns. It can strain spouses' relationships.
What is nagging?
Nagging is the act of complaining about or criticizing or worrying somebody continuously and in the process gets his or her mind hurt.
Nagging is said to be common among women although some women allege that their husbands do also nag. Many husbands have complained bitterly about their wives' nagging. Nagging does not breed love; rather it breeds hatred. Many wives claim that nagging is not without a cause. They try to justify their nagging by saying that it is their husbands' refusal to change for better that make them to nag. Although what they are saying may be true, that does not justify their nagging.
It is argued that the manner of approach matters and that wives should adopt appropriate ways of approaching their husbands for a change such as dialogues and bed talks.
There are other complaints of husbands against their wives but the ones enumerated and explained above are the major ones, according to the survey carried out.
Wives should therefore study them, take note of them and make some positive and appropriate changes. [http://www.happylifebooks.com] http://beneficialproductsmarketing.blogspot.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Complaints-Husbands-Have-About-Their-Wives---Survey-Results&id=6372924] What Complaints Husbands Have About Their Wives - Survey Results
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