By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Benson_Ndaji]Benson Ndaji
God who established this age-long relationship called marriage did not make any mistake. Rather He saw the rich benefits and made this relationship to exist. Whatever that has been going wrong in this relationship is the fault of man. God knows what is good for His creations. It is the fall of Adam that brought complexities in man such that what should have been a simple matter is made to look complex by man. And what should have been taken as a non-issue is made to be an issue by man.
When I say "man" I also include woman. It is man that is creating a lot of problems for himself.
But funny enough we can see that even if a man decides not to marry, he cannot say he has nothing to do with a woman in whatever form. In the same vein, if a woman decides not to marry, she cannot say she has nothing to do with a man in whatever relationship. That is why you still see single ladies having children. It is still men that make them pregnant. That proves to us that the purpose of God in creating man and woman is a perfect one.
Experience has shown that the problems emanating from marriages seem to be unending, surfacing from time to time in different ways and from different families, and from the surveys conducted, many of the problems seem to lie unsolved or they are swept under the carpet. Thus making many spouses to be suffering in silence just for there to be peace especially in African environment.
This leads us to various complaints that husbands make about their wives. I will touch them one by one here so that wives should take note and make adjustments and changes where necessary. Wives also have their own complaints about their husbands but let us discuss first what husbands complain about their wives.
But we should take note that not every woman is guilty of the complaints made against them.
Below are the major complaints of husbands against their wives:
1. Making and keeping bad friends.
Many husbands attribute certain actions, attitudes and behaviors of their wives to making and keeping bad friends.
They complain that their wives that had been good initially, suddenly changed and became different persons altogether. Their characters have changed. Their behaviors and attitudes have changed due to bad advice from friends they keep. As a matter of fact, women are said to be easily vulnerable to swaying to outside influence. They are easily convinced. Because of that nature in them, you see them taking advice from bad friends. Even in fashion and dressing, they easily copy from their fellow women without knowing the motives behind certain fashions and the consequences of such.
Wives should avoid keeping bad friends. If a wife must keep friends, they must be friends of good repute, friends that give them good advice on how to live peacefully with their husbands and their family in general. They should make friends that advise them to be loyal to their husbands.
2. Love and care for their extended family members. (Extended family system is more pronounced in Africa).
It is not in dispute that most wives in this type of family system show more love to their own extended family members more than the family members of their husbands.
This is one of the complaints of many husbands against their wives. Salaries and incomes of many wives, they say, are meant exclusively for their extended family members only, even to the detriment of their own nuclear families.
They see no reason why they should extend their largesse to the extended family of their husbands even if they are dying. Yet they claim they love their husbands. Many wives would even like to bring in their own extended family members to live with them, but would not want any members from their husbands' extended families to come to them. They will give better attention, better food to their own relatives, but not to their husbands' relatives.
Wives should take note that this attitude is not godly no matter the excuses adduced. It shows lack of love for their husbands. You would not say you love your husband, yet you hate his relatives or extended family members.
3. Uncleanliness and Disorderliness.
Little things that matter are in most cases ignored either deliberately or out of ignorance. That is how it is with many wives, as their husbands complain. They ignore their appearances in the house not minding how their husbands feel. Many wives, because they are now married and probably have got children, see no need to keep clean anymore. They see no need to keep attracting their husbands again and in so doing become repulsive and unattractive to their husbands.
Thus, driving away their husbands away from them, probably without even realizing what they are doing. Their attention will now be focused on their children with little or none to their husbands as if their children are only what they come for in the marriage. But when their husbands begin to stay away from them to another women because of their unattractive posture, they would begin to complain.
Some wives keep their houses in disorder and untidy.
No husband would like to see his house in disorder and untidy. No husband would like to see his wife unclean or dirty.
Wives should know that keeping themselves clean and tidy and well dressed, will attract the interest and attention of their husbands, but keeping themselves unclean and untidy will be repulsive to their husbands.
4. Unnecessary Suspicion of husbands over money matters and opposite sex.
Many husbands complain that their wives suspect them unnecessarily over money matters and over opposite sex. They claim that most of the suspicions are uncalled for. Their wives' reasons for suspecting them are that they, as their husbands, might be using their money for their own relatives alone, or for womanizing, for gambling, for pools betting, for alcoholic drinks and other generous gifts they give to other people, especially the opposite sex. They suspect them when they greet some of the opposite sex they are acquainted with, whom their wives may or might not know very well.
Their husbands are saying that even when their wives know that they don't womanize, nor take alcohol nor move any how, yet they still suspect them unnecessarily.
Their wives don't want them to spend for their own (husbands') relatives. They don't want them to spend for those who are in need or for those who need their help. They attribute this attitude to selfishness on the part of their wives.
Wives should understand that no man is an island. And no family is an island either. "Do unto others as you would want others to do for you," says the scriptures. If you don't want your husband to help those who may need your help, when the table turns against you, nobody will help you.
Unnecessary suspicion of husbands over money matters and opposite sex should by all means be avoided or stopped.
5. Betting with sex and lack of response to romantic approaches.
Many husbands complain about their wives betting with sex. That is, telling their husbands that unless they do one thing or the other for them or unless they buy one thing or the other for them, there would be no sex with their husbands, thereby using what belongs to the husband for betting. They forget that this type of action or attitude puts their husbands into temptation and frustration. They also forget that their bodies now belong wholly to their husbands. They also forget the Biblical injunction in 1 Corinthians 7: 4-5a which says, "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time" (King James Version).
This means that wives should note that their bodies are now for their husbands and should not use them for betting.
Another worrisome attitude or behavior, according to some husbands, is the situation where many wives would not respond to the romantic approaches of their husbands. When their husbands' hands touch them, they would behave as if their husbands' hands are full of thorns. Sometimes they would push their husbands away with all seriousness. And this causes frustration to their husbands. This is not only frustrating, but also annoying and is capable of driving their husbands away from their homes. Further still, while in bed with their husbands, some wives would stay like logs of wood when having sex with their husbands. There would not be appropriate responses to their husbands touches which are expected from them. This makes many husbands to suffer in silence.
This is a very serious matter that wives should not allow to continue. By doing this you are driving your husbands away from you and your families. You are driving them away to other women.
6. Nagging.
Nagging can be frustrating. Nagging can be repulsive. Nagging can drive a husband away from his wife. Nagging is a disease that can eat away the happiness and joy of spouses. Nagging can cause marriage breakdowns. It can strain spouses' relationships.
What is nagging?
Nagging is the act of complaining about or criticizing or worrying somebody continuously and in the process gets his or her mind hurt.
Nagging is said to be common among women although some women allege that their husbands do also nag. Many husbands have complained bitterly about their wives' nagging. Nagging does not breed love; rather it breeds hatred. Many wives claim that nagging is not without a cause. They try to justify their nagging by saying that it is their husbands' refusal to change for better that make them to nag. Although what they are saying may be true, that does not justify their nagging.
It is argued that the manner of approach matters and that wives should adopt appropriate ways of approaching their husbands for a change such as dialogues and bed talks.
There are other complaints of husbands against their wives but the ones enumerated and explained above are the major ones, according to the survey carried out.
Wives should therefore study them, take note of them and make some positive and appropriate changes. [http://www.happylifebooks.com] http://beneficialproductsmarketing.blogspot.com
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Complaints-Husbands-Have-About-Their-Wives---Survey-Results&id=6372924] What Complaints Husbands Have About Their Wives - Survey Results
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